The Total Recall teaser trailer trailer is here! Yes, trailer trailer. *groan*

Oh, come on Hollywood! If you want to give us a trailer, then do it. This trailer for a trailer business  is just getting ludicrous now.

Ridiculous marketing ploys aside, this 36 seconds long teaser does gives us our first glimpse of what Len Wiseman’s Total Recall reboot will look like.

For those lucky few over in Americaland, some of the visuals in this teaser is old news as these clips got aired at San Diego Comic Con in 2011. Unfortunately for us geographically challenged folks, the footage was never made available online and any bootleg copies got taken down as soon as they went up.

 

My first impression: Where’s Optimus Prime? That robot flatulence sound (BWAARRRRRPPP!) has to be the most overused element in trailers today, and I’m getting real tired of it.

But with regards to the movie itself, I’ll honestly say that I haven’t seen enough to develop an opinion. The effects certainly look pretty enough, and I’m getting a bit of a Blade Runner vibe from some of the design elements, but other than that I cannot really say whether or not this will be a worthy reboot or not.

Ah, who am I kidding? This is Len Wiseman we’re talking about here. The guy has a knack for CGI spectacle but very little else; he attacks a film with the finesse of a thumbless man with a blunted axe. Paul Verhoeven’s 1990 original is considered a sci-fi classic for very good reasons, and I have a feeling that this is just going to be all flash and no substance. This despite the fact that leading man Collin Farrell has been impressing the hell out of me lately, and while nowhere close physically,I actually think that he could be a decent replacement for Arnold Schwarzenegger as Quaid.

But as this trailer proclaims so infuriatingly, we just have until this Sunday to wait to get our first substantial look.

And just for the record, in case you were getting your slightly perverted hopes up, it has been confirmed that there will be no 3 breasted prostitute this time around. Darn.

Here’s the synopsis:

Originally adapted by director Paul Verhoeven in 1990, author Philip K. Dick’s classic sci-fi short story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale returns to the big screen in this remake starring Colin Farrell, Bryan Cranston, and Kate Beckinsale, and directed by Underworld’s Len Wiseman. Douglas Quaid (Farrell) is a factory worker in New Shanghai. He’s got a stable job and a loving wife (Beckinsale), but upon learning that a company called Rekall could grant him the memory of the ultimate espionage adventure, Douglas decides that a virtual vacation is better than no vacation at all. But in the midst of having the memories implanted, something goes haywire, and the system breaks down. As the authorities close in, Douglas flees, joining forces with a fierce rebel soldier (Jessica Biel) on a mission to track down the head of the resistance (Bill Nighy), and take down the tyrannical Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), a power-crazed leader who seeks to control the entire free world. The harder Douglas fights to defeat Cohaagen, however, the more difficult it becomes for him to determine whether this is real life, or simply all part of the complex Rekall program.

 

Last Updated: March 28, 2012