Baywatch: A second opinion

2 min read
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I wrote about the Baywatch trailer a while ago, full of excited expectations on what could easily have been a new 21 Jump Street, only with far more bouncing and a lot more red. It looked like a sure hit, with a cast of actors that can deliver on almost anything, especially with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson as the lead. So what did we get? Well, we got a movie full of dick jokes, misplaced ‘comedy’ moments and a story that takes such a backseat it may as well be in the Bermuda Triangle. Sadly director Seth “Horrible Bosses” Gordon’s movie misses the mark far more than it manages to hit. Which is really sad as this could have been a really great comedy moment.

The poster says the ‘Beaches ain’t ready’, trust me, neither are you…

Here’s what we said in our text review:

“Baywatch isn’t unwatchable, primarily because of the charisma of its leads. However, it’s disappointingly low on laughs and fun.

Dwayne Johnson and the rest of the cast valiantly try to save Baywatch with their relaxed likeability. So it’s a pity that the film is sunk by an uneven script that never allows Baywatch to be as silly and raunchy as it could – and should – be.”

It’s out tomorrow in local cinemas.

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Last Updated: June 1, 2017

Nick Reay

I have been an avid fan of movies ever since I discovered Santa Clause wasn’t real, a day marked in my memory by my first viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life, which wasn’t so wonderful that day. Since then I’ve watched thousands of movies and even fooled my parents into putting me through uni to get a degree in the subject. I first started writing as a journalist for The South African Newspaper before moving onto communications for an NGO trying to save the planet. Unfortunately my recommendations to the CEO that we should all don rings imbued with the powers of earth, fire, wind, water and HEART went unheard. Now I pretend the end isn’t nigh by hiding in movies.

  • Sageville

    My only question: Is the Rock the new Hasslehoff?

    • YES. And given the right material he could have pulled it off ;(

    • Jim of the Banana

      Let’s be honest: The Rock >>>>>>> The Hoff

  • MonsterCheddar

    So judgemental……

    Just watching the mouth move, imagining that stroke…… XD

    • what the what now? 0_O

      • Andre116

        RUN!!!

        • My first stalker!

          • MonsterCheddar

            No Man. Watching the vid without sound. Moving mouth looks like you are having a stroke.

          • lol

      • MonsterCheddar

        XD

  • HvR
  • Fnuik

    Without sounding critical just to be critical, Critical Hit really must invest in decent sound recording equipment for their vids. I know most are done by different people but I always struggle to get trough a video where you have so much background noise or it sounds like the whole video is recorded by holding a phone 2 meters away.

    • nah, it was my bad. I changed the settings before rendering and then didn’t have time to revert it back.

      • Jim of the Banana

        Would it help if you record a second audio track (on a second device) and then splice it all together during post-production?

  • Jim of the Banana

    I’ll probably go and watch it because I’m a sucker for bad movies, boobs and the Rock!

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