Friday Fight Club – Monster melee mania

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Monsters are awesome, even if they do happen to be sparkly when exposed to sunlight. But the greatest monsters of all time, also happen to be the biggest, both at the box office, and in size.

Godzilla and King Kong have had a few tussles in the past, but today, we’re leaving that decision up to you, to see who would win in a fight to end all fights between the atomic lizard and apocalyptic ape!

King Kong

The bastard child of Sonic the Hedgehog, an iguana and an atom bomb versus the king of monsters himself? This contest is already in the bag. While ol’ Gojirra may be used to chowing down on the Asian populace, and returning an hour later to do so again, he doesn’t wake up to a grueling regimen like Kong does every morning.

The mighty ape awakens every day to a hearty breakfast of giant pterodactyl eggs,V-Rex clobbering and swinging through his domain as the rightful king, and that’s on an entire island filled with the most lethal monsters imaginable.

King Kong is the worst possible opponent to face. A gigantic gorilla, that happens to be strong, tough, intelligent, crafty and experienced in fighting giant mutants.

Plus he’ll throw his massive poop at you, if you tick him off.

-Darryn

Godzilla

A big monkey who gets stopped in his tracks by a girlie scream and a big gate made from palm trees? That’s what you’re pitting against a gigantic, reptilian, nearly immortal death machine? Please, this ape is about to get served.

Godzilla sports an impervious hide that treats surface to air missiles like spit balls, whereas Kong couldn’t even handle a couple bullets from some flimsily constructed bi-planes before going down like a stinky little girl.

Kong climbs skyscrapers? Godzilla crushes them in his talons and uses them like toothpicks to clean the Asians from his giant fangs, and then belches out a stream of nuclear flaming death at anybody dumb enough to get caught in his gaze.

Oh and I nearly forgot all the radioactivity he gives off to anybody in his proximity. Good luck on that testicular cancer, Kong.

-Keryvn

Last Updated: July 27, 2012

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia’s M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • AIIIIII! GOJIRRA!~

  • Justin Hess

    Based on the size of the new Godzilla, I’d say the lizard would take the fight, with Kong on a plate with fries

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