Friday Fight Club – The worst of the worst collide

2 min read
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We’ve seen the best of the best in our weekly Friday Fight Club feature face off against one another, but we wanted to give the underdog a chance. An underdog from the bottom of a barrel, that we scraped out of another bottom barrel.

Unfortunately, the former child stars of Three Ninjas and Surf Ninjas were unavailable, so we got some replacement combatants instead. Prepare yourself, for a slobber-knocker of bad technique and politically incorrect violence!

  • Wimp Lo

Ladies, calm yourselves. Wimp Lo is more than a master of bad dubbing and having massive nipples which resemble bar coasters. He’s an expert in the fabled face to foot style, the legendary nuts to fist technique, and he has an attitude to match it!

When Wimp Lo throws a punch, several Kung Fu masters die from pure embarrassment at his relentless butchering of the noble martial arts style that they teach correctly.

When Wimp Lo talks trash, you better listen, or face the wrath of his weedy frame and baby-fat layered muscles, before you wreck yourself in pure terror. Wimp Lo is more than an almost-man, he’s a force of badly trained nature, an oncoming storm of fire and ice that won’t back down from a challenge.

He’s tepid water essentially, and if his random flailing doesn’t get you, then his squeaky shoes are certain to make you think twice before you pummel him again!

-Darryn

  • Mr. No Legs

Mauy Thai is often referred to as the Art of Eight Limbs, for it’s highly effective ways of exacting brutality on somebody using the full functionality of all four of a fighter’s appendages. Eight limbs?! Pah! Those are for sissies!

Just feast your eyes on the deadliness of Mr No Legs! And once you’re done feasting your eyes, can you kindly move your testicles within punching range? Wait, wait… just a little lower… And KI-YAAH! Take that, conveniently close and blatantly undefended sucker!

Flying butt-kicks, reverse flying butt-kicks! Should you cross Mr. No Legs, there’s simply no limit to the vicious acts of violence this handecapitator will use against you. Well, as long as you have a habit of running at him solar plexus first, with your arms raised above your head in a vaguely mysterious manner. But if you do, it’s on!

Mr. No Legs, the real badass!

-Kervyn

 

Last Updated: August 24, 2012

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia’s M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!



  • ..
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  • Still, Kervyn wins for his use of ”
    handecapitator”

    • I am going to burn in Hell for this post. I just know it.

  • Are we comparing who would win, or who would just… lose more than the other guy? Who’s the best or who is the best at being the worst?

  • WernerE

    Darryn’s opponent doesn’t have a food to stand on against Mr. No Legs. Unless he is the master of Buttcheek-to-face-style

  • Why doesn’t the guy fighting Mr. No Legs just use the pool net and push him into the water?

    Anyway, Wimp Lo gets my vote.

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