Kill ‘em all! It’s a new trailer for Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars

3 min read

Starship troopers (1)

It’s a Friday night, you’re young(ish), the working week is over and it’s time to P…A…R…T…Y! Bugger that, I’m staying inside and levelling up my skills in being an introvert by watching one of the greatest movies of all time yet again: Starship Troopers. I’m at a point now where I can quote that film line by line, thanks to it being an infinitely rewatchable masterpiece of fascistic satire and Jake Busey’s magnificent teeth.

Starship Troopers is brilliance in a two-hour format. Starship Trooper sequels are…Well, they exist, but let’s not talk about them. They’re the equivalent of stealing the football just before Charlie Brown manages to get a kick in, because destiny is a cruel tyrant named Lucy. Anyway, the live-action Starship Trooper sequels are trash. They’re low budget, lack any of the subtle commentary of the original film and they’re cheaper than Chinese knock-off Nik Naks.

2012’s Starship Troopers: Invasion, however? Now that’s a movie which may have lacked the commentary of the original but made up for it by upping the action with some delightful CG animation.That was five years ago, and it’s about damn time that a sequel was made. Do you want to know more?

C’mon You Apes, You Wanna Live Forever?! I have only one rule. Everybody fights, no one quits. The bugs have breached Mars and the Federation’s Fleet is too far to help. It’s up to us to save the planet. On the bounce, Troopers! The only Good Bug is a Dead Bug! Oorah!

The movie sees Rico demoted and relocated to a satellite station on Mars, while the Federation moves to attack the home planet of the bugs — but Mars just so happens to be the target of a secret bug attack at the same time, and it falls to Rico and a group of new recruits to keep the planet safe while the Federation’s fleet is far out of reach.

There’s some lineage to this sequel, which includes Casper Van Dien as Johnny Rico and Dina Meyer as Dizzy Flores again. Didn’t she die in the first film? technically yes, but I’m guessing that she got better. Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars drops out of orbit for a US theatrical release on August 21, before moving on to Blu-Ray and digital streaming services.

Read  There are plenty of kaiju to bash in this highlight reel for Pacific Rim Uprising

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Last Updated: July 20, 2017

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia’s M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • There is no way Dizzy Flores survived the Planet P assault in the first Starship Troopers. She was stabbed 4 times and officially died on the way back to Fleet immediately after. Official canon even recorded her funeral.

    Doesn’t this take place before assault on Planet P or something? Is there a conspiracy surrounding her ‘supposed’ death like in the utter bullshit Starship Troopers 3 with Rico? Was she cloned? God dammit, now I’ll have to watch this.

    • Hammersteyn

      If it took place before Planet P did they must’ve stuck Rico back in the water tank to heal his eye and facial scars after this new movie finished?

      • Oh my god. The plotholes just keep on coming, don’t they? O_O

        • Hammersteyn

          Also, where the hell is Carl?

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      Just going by how she looks in the trailer compared to Rico I would guess she’s a hallucination of some kind.

      • Kind of a ‘haunted by ghosts of the past’ sort of deal. Hm. That could be…

      • HvR

        That make sense especially in the scene in the middle of a bug attack with her strolling around in tank top.

        But isn’t her ghost going to be pissed off at Johnny for hallucinating her a younger blonde?

  • Hammersteyn

    Dizzy got better alright, a better everything apparently (because that’s what a woman’s supposed to look like?)

    • Well it won’t be the first time she changed. She was a man in the novel…okay this is like, totally opening up a whole can of worms.

      • Hammersteyn

        ROFL! You just blew my mind!

      • Skyblue

        Didn’t know that, nor did I need to methinks.

    • Skyblue

      Dizzy got dead in the first movie so I can’t see how/why they would bring her back. Dina Meyer had pretty memorable boobs in that movie as well ;-p

      This does look pretty good though but I watched Invasion recently so I’m partial. When I watched the original all those years ago I remember geeking out and thinking OMG!!! It’s Quake… and Starcraft… IN THE SAME MOVIE!!! Cheez and all, I loved it.

      • Hammersteyn

        Same here, was hoping for a decent video game adaptation but alas.

        • Skyblue

          Best Staship Troopers game I played was a mod for Starcraft 2 several years ago.

          • HvR

            How do I not know about this!!!!

        • HvR

          Outwars was closest thing to a proper Starship Trooper game.

          The Starship Trooper strategy game could have been awesome if it was just polished a bit

          • Skyblue

            To be fair it’s a “if memory serves correct” scenario… too old and too many games. Never played Outpost.

  • Original Heretic

    Is this the only job Casper van Dien has left?

    • Never forget – Casper Van Dien’s first film credit was in a movie about Casper The Friendly Ghost as a bystander. Nothing will ever top the irony.

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      Are you calling him a has dien?

      • Original Heretic

        He’s a ghost of his former self.

  • Craig “CrAiGiSh” Dodd

    Would you like to know more?

    This has gotten me in the mood to watch the first movie again xD

    • HvR

      Love how it was just a PG13 movie here when it was released; but will probably not let my 8 year old watch even with my guidance

  • Peter Pan

    Didn’t even know there was a new movie in the works! Now I’m stoked for some more B-Grade movie entertainment.

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