Seeing as how I count Darryn and Nick among my colleagues, you can be sure that my brain gets accosted on a regular basis by some rather silly things, to the point where I have built up a rather sizeable resistance to – and I believe this is the proper technical term – dumbass crap. But even so, I still found myself taken aback at the sheer ridiculousness on display when I read a new report over at THR.
According to this report, Sony are apparently close to signing off on a 7-figure deal for a new Robin Hood movie pitch by Cory Goodman (Priest, The Last Witch Hunter) and Jeremy Lot (The Falling). Robin Hood has been a movie staple for almost as long as there have been movies, so a new take on the character certainly isn’t out of the ordinary. So what was it that left my brain with its mouth agape?
The new film, titled Hood *cringe*, is to be a live-action film surrounding Robin Hood and his Merry Men, that’s described as similar in tone to Mission: Impossible and the recent Fast & Furious movies, and describes the group as “the superhero team of England’s Middle Ages”. Wait, what?!
And before you can even wrap your cerebellum around that bit of craziness, let me continue: You may have noticed that I said “7-figure deal” up top, which is certainly a lot of money to write yet another script about a guy who can just shoot arrows well and his vagabond friends. So what’s the catch? Well, the pitch is supposedly for Goodman and Lot to create and shepherd a shared, “Avengers”-like universe that will see the characters established in Hood, before the franchise spins off into solo films for all the various Merry Men like Will Scarlet, Friar Tuck and Little John.
Yes, solo movies for the Merry Men. Because screw all those other things we want like a Dredd sequel or more Firefly, no, what we’re getting instead is a Friar fracking Tuck superspy action movie! Of course!
Oh, Hollywood. I love you to bits, I really do, but sometimes you really just leave me shaking my head and wondering exactly what cheap drugs you’re on.
Last Updated: October 8, 2014
Hugh Lashbrooke
October 8, 2014 at 08:42
If the shared universe used the characters as portrayed in Men in Tights then it wouldn’t be so bad. Provided Mel Brooks directs of course.
Spaffy
October 8, 2014 at 08:45
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Alien Emperor Trevor
October 8, 2014 at 08:52
lulwut? Robin Hood/King Arthur cross-over. Come on, I dare you – go full retard.
RinceThis
October 8, 2014 at 11:10
With Vikings! Make it so!
Weanerdog
October 8, 2014 at 16:06
Well they could do some crusade tie in, hell add some assassin Templars. Could be fun.
RinceThis
October 8, 2014 at 11:07
Oi! There is NO resistance to Darryn and my skillz! PS.l WTF?
Alien Emperor Trevor
October 8, 2014 at 12:59
“Resistance is futile. We are the BLAAAAAAAAGH”