With the American elections now finished, the people have spoken, instagrammed and tweeted! Four more years is better according to President Barry Obama, and it looks like Mitt Romney won’t get a chance in the White House after all.
But Obama sucks, because if one of these fictional POTUS had been elected, the world not only have been a better place, it would have been a far more awesome one as well.
President Harris – Leslie Nielsen (Scary Movie 4)
When it comes to politics, President Harris is a clueless dolt that has his finger far removed from the pulse of his nation and up his own ass instead. In other words, he’s pretty much the most realistic depiction of a politician ever captured on screen, and how Leslie Nielsen never won an Oscar for his sterling performance, is beyond me.
But what makes Harris that much better than a regular politician, is that he isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty, or nipples hard. The man kicks some serious ass, from girl scouts through to people with disabilities, and thanks to some canny hiring choices in his secret service that is now comprised of some former rappers, he has some real hardcore muscle to back up his state of the nation beatdowns.
President Dave Kovic – Kevin Kline (Dave)
Ok, technically, Kevin Kline may be playing a duplicate president here, but you have to hand it to the man, his short term in office was memorable. Because he was one of us, a blue collar worker who just wanted to make the world a better place, instead of funnelling tax payer dollars into massive mansions built on the doorstep of a poverty-stricken towns.
Good thing that will never happen here, right? Right?
President Tom Beck – Morgan Freeman (Deep Impact)
I’ll be honest, if the worst possible candidate on a ballot sheet had the same voice as Morgan Freeman, I’d probably vote for him. That’s the smooth, smooth power of President Beck, as his magnificent voice has the pwoer to soothe an entire nation, even though a massive asteroid is about to headbutt the planet.
President Thomas Whitmore – Bill Pullman (Independence Day)
I’ll be honest here, and admit that President Whitmore may not be the greatest man to have in charge when it concerns matters of state, balancing the national deficit and photo ops.
What Whitmore can do however, is inspire a nation, and lead a suicidal attack from the front lines, putting that army training and aerial dogfighting skills to good use.
Remember, when alien scum are threatening to annihilate your city, vote Whitmore or die in a blast of alien hellfire!
President James Marshall – Harrison Ford (Air Force One)
Here’s one leader who actually happens to guide a nation along the line of good morals, a no nonsense attitude and gets down to business on his plane.
Who needs to spend taxpayer money on secret service guards, when your own president can dispatch them one by one, ensuring that democracy wins at the end of the day?
President Marshall, that’s who. Vote President Marshall, for the sky presidency in 2012!
President Thomas “Tug” Benson – Lloyd Bridges (Hot Shots Part Deux)
Ladies, brace yourself for the ultimate in presidential machismo. President Benson isn’t the kind of president who waits for terror to strike, before taking care of business.
The man is a spade-wielding assassin, knocking out former presidents without even realizing it, while taking down Saddam Hussein himself, in a lightsaber battle for the ages.
Half man, half machine and half mathematically incorrect levels of dubious intelligence, he’s a fire-proof head of state with detacheable body parts and appendages.
Who wouldn’t vote for such a man?