WWE Wrestlemania 33 took place at the Camping World Stadium in Orlando, Florida. Here’s all the action that went down at the showcase of the immortals.
WWE Cruiserweight Champion Neville def. Austin Aries
If anyone was capable of dethroning the current king of the Cruiserweights, it was Austin Aries. Wrestlemania saw the two best lightweights in the WWE battle it out with reckless abandon, pulling every single move out of their book and then some. But the king wasn’t ready for regicide, as he fired back with German suplexes and a dirty Last Chancery submission hold that saw him scrape away at the eye of Aries, eventually adding a Red Arrow finisher that delivered victory.
It’s good to be the king.
Mojo Rawley won the 4th annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
For years now, the Big Show has dominated Wrestlemania’s annual Battle Royal. The giant was felled last night however, even as he demolished most of the competition and began sizing up Braun Strowman in the corner. In an epic clash, the gift of destruction eliminated the Big Show from the match, but he made one fatal mistake: He turned his back on ever other superstar in that ring. Buddy, they weren’t taking chances.
In a colossal team-up, Strowman was evicted from the match by the combined strength of every superstar leftover, leaving the men inside to battle it out until only two remained: Mojo Rawleyand Jinder Mahal. With some assistance from NFL sports person Rob Gronkowski, Rawley managed to survive Mahal’s assault and claim victory in the fourth Wrestlemania Battle Royal dedicated to the late great Andre the Giant.
Intercontinental Champion Dean Ambrose def. Baron Corbin
The problem with upsetting a maniac, is that you’re usually going to run afoul of them at one time of another and have to deal with their wrath in a more physical manner. After weeks of harassment, Baron Corbin learnt that the hard way, as the lunatic fringe was unleashed and the lone wolf of the WWE found himself sans any championship gold at Wrestlemania after Dirty Deeds finally connected.
AJ Styles def. Shane McMahon
Two men, one Wrestlemania ring and one burning desire: Respect. AJ Styles and Smackdown boss Shane McMahon decided to settle their workplace dispute the only way they knew how: By clobbering one another. From phenomenal forearms to coast to coast top=rope launches, the two men made the most out of this hardcore match that very nearly ended in Shane’s favour after a brutal DDT gave him the perfect opportunity to set up for a shooting star press.
At the very last moment however, Styles ducked the high-risk move and pressed the advantage with a Phenomenal Forearm that connected into a win. How’s that for respect?
Kevin Owens def. United States Champion Chris Jericho
Kevin Owens had it all at one point. The WWE Universal championship, a best friend in the form of Chris Jericho and the security of knowing that he always had somebody watching his back. And then he threw it all away, and was left with only the smallest of consolation prizes: His name on the List of Jericho.
The Prizefighter struck back Wrestlemania, determined to take the United States championship away from Jericho as viciously as possible. Jericho wasn’t going down without a fight however, as the two had a rather intimate knowledge of each other’s moveset and proceeded to make good use of that intelligence. Owens prevailed in the end however, with a pop-up powerbomb that almost broke the ring and left him with a shiny new US Championship.
Raw Women’s Champion Bayley def. Charlotte Flair, Sasha Banks and Nia Jax (Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match)
Bayley had her work cut out for her last night at Wrestlemania, having to defend her title against not only Charlotte Flair and Sasha Banks, but Nia Jax as well. In fact, everybody who wasn’t Nia Jax had their work cut out for them when that superstar entered the fray. The solution? A triple team-up between the competitors to eliminate Jax first, a gamble that worked handsomely for the remaining superstars.
Until they began demoloshing each other. Charlotte Flair would exit the ring with cunning, leaving Banks and Bayley to battle it out and whittle each other down. The competition sufficiently wounded, Charlotte eliminated Banks and then turned her attention to Bayley. But the huggable one was more than ready to defend her crown and earn a Wrestlemania moment, landing a picture-perfect elbow drop that was felt throughout the arena.
The Hardy Boyz won a Fatal 4-Way Ladder Match to win the Raw Tag Team Championship
Guys, they’re back! The Hardy Boyz are back in the WWE! And they’re more broken than ever before! Broken Matt Hardy and the nefarious brother Nero made a shocking return at Wrestlemania, taking the other three teams to the breaking point and back again in a ladder match for the WWE titles that had to be seen to be believed. Experience trumped numbers, as Jeff Hardy landed the most magnificent of Swantons on Seamus and Cesaro, leaving Matt Hardy the gap to climb the ladder and capture the gold.
John Cena and Nikki Bella def. The Miz and Maryse
Yeah who never saw this coming. We don’t deserve the Miz. John Cena won, proposed to Nikki Bella. NEXT!
Seth Rollins def. Triple H (Non-Sanctioned Match)
Seth Freakin’ Rollins has had a bone to pick with Triple H. Especially after the cerebral assassion broke several of his, specifically in the area of his knee in an attempt to permanently hobble his former protégé. When you learn from the best however, you become the best, something that the architect demonstrated with aplomb as the non-sanctioned match allowed for unprecedented levels of brutality between the two.
Tables, ladders and chairs were all fair game, as Triple H looked to finally rid himself of Rollins, but Seth was determined to prove himself the better man. Damaged, bruised and battered, Rollins ended the match on his own terms, executing a Pedigree that Stephanie McMahon was unable to stop and toppling the King of Kings from his throne.
Universal Champion Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar
Brock Lesnar’s record in the WWE has been spotless to say the least. Y’know, except for those two black spots concerning Goldberg. The WWE Universal Champion was looking to score a hat trick at Wrestlemania, but Brock Lesnar was there to prove a theory: When the F5 goes up, down goes Goldberg. For weeks now, Lesnar’s advocate Paul Heyman has been espousing the virtues of that math, and for once he wasn’t wrong.
Goldberg may have been a brutal challenge, but Lesnar had learnt from his previous defeats. The beast incarnate welcomed the champ to Suplex City, dodged Spears and survived worse. Lesnar was not going to leave Wrestlemania without the gold, as he applied a staggering six German Suplexes to Goldberg to size the crown.
Randy Orton def. Bray Wyatt to win the WWE Championship
You don’t earn yourself the nickname of the Viper by being a reliable guy who has the back of your pals. Something that Bray Wyatt learnt the hard way as the champ found himself battling his former acolyte Randy Orton. Weeks of mind games came to a head, as the Eater of Worlds looked set to rid himself of Randy Orton once and for all.
But the Viper wasn’t going to settle for second-best. After earning the right to challenge Bray when he won the Royal Rumble, he was more than ready to match the WWE Champion move for move in the ring, eventually delivering that one RKO from outta nowhere that sealed the deal on the three-count. The mind games may be over, but this rivalry is merely beginning.
Naomi def. Alexa Bliss, Natalya, Carmella, Becky Lynch and Mickie James to win the SmackDown Women’s Championship
Just about everybody in the Smackdown locker room wanted a piece of ALexa Bliss and her Smackdown Women’s championship last night at Wrestlemania, as the six-pack challenge reached dizzying new heights. Chaos reigned supreme, but so too did one other factor in the ring: The power of the glow. Naomi bounced back from devastating damage to corner Bliss, locking her into a submission that she refused to release, as Bliss relented and relinquished her championship gold.
Roman Reigns def. The Undertaker