The good, the bad, and the ugly of the past week – 13 January 2017

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What, you thought that just because we ditched our standard ‘In Other News’ feature, we’d dump this one too? Please, we love the weekly wrap, so it’s staying – for now at the very least.

Best Stories

First thing’s first… we took Lazygamer and TheMovies, threw them into a big cauldron, cranked up the heat, and hey presto- Critical Hit. Welcome to the new site everybody. We hope you enjoy your stay!

In other good news, the Awesome Games Done Quick marathon has been on all week. Speedruns for charity? Yeah, what’s not to like? Alessandro and I can’t stop watching.

Worst Stories

If you were excited for Scalebound, unfortunately, the project has been cancelled. Microsoft made the announcement earlier this week. What a pity – I genuinely feel so sorry for that whole team who worked on the game!

Remember that three screen laptop Razer showed off at CES? Yeah, it got stolen. Whether it was a casual expo goer pocketing the device or a spot of corporate espionage remains to be seen. Either way, that’s really not cool.

What’s that, you want a Half-Life sequel? That’s just too bad – you probably won’t ever see it.

Random Stories

We all know that three screens are better than one. Would that work with a laptop though? Razer seem to think so – they’ve put together a prototype that packs in triple the visual real estate.

2016 was a fantastic year for gaming, but what does 2017 have in-store? Take it away, Darryn.

Lastly, somebody went ahead and conceptualized all original 151 Pokemon as Hearthstone cards. I don’t know about you, but I could sure use a Snorlax or Mewtwo in my deck! Oh, and I don’t know about you, but if I had some cash lying around, I’d definitely throw it at this life-size Majora’s Mask figure.

Hang on, there’s one more thing. Monopoly is letting the internet decide what they should change their tokens to. If I had to vote, I’d choose that cry-laughing emoji. Please, make it so!

Editorials, Previews, and Reviews this Week

Hacksaw Ridge review – Great acting, great war story, predictable execution
Takenoko review – adorable, accessible fun
Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King review (3DS)
Christmas All Over Again Review (DVD)
Patriot’s Day Review
Office Christmas Party review
Monster Trucks review
Black Coins are what make Super Mario Run so, so good
If you’re looking to be more active, parkrun is probably your best bet

Nintendo Switch News

The official price and release date for the Nintendo Switch has been revealed
The Nintendo Switch will be region-free
Nintendo’s Switch will give you 2 and a half to 6 hours of battery life
Nintendo Switch’s tiny Joy-Con controllers are packed with features
Stretch that jab! Here’s a first look at Arms for the Nintendo Switch
Super Mario Odyssey is coming to Nintendo Switch
Splatoon 2 coming to Switch, won’t be a launch title
Nintendo Switch third-party games include Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and more
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild will be a Nintendo Switch launch title
The Nintendo Switch is getting Street Fighter…II?
Hit or Miss: The Nintendo Switch Event

Is Darryn Batman?

As it stands, we cannot award Batman to anybody. Critical Hit does not have a fancy formula in place yet to see who the caped crusader is. Sorry Darryn, your dream to nab a year-long streak in 2017 has already been destroyed!

Header of the Week

Nobody seems to recall any visual sorcery they pulled off this week. I guess we all lose then! Do you have any favourite headers that we’ve forgotten about?

Most Comments

Of course the most comments landed on Critical Hit’s very first article. With 109 comments, our first post wins the award for most comments this week.

Comment of the Week

Hey Avo, it’s good to have you back! Your comment on Lazygamer merging with TheMovies garnered loads of lols:

Before our IT guys realise I can access the site O_o

lolol

Bonus Premium Content

With a larger team, you can now expect even more madness under bonus premium content, starting with some good old classic Darryn WTF:

I found this little gem over December. That ending makes me laugh every single time!

Geoff found the time to share one of his favourite videos:

Even Kervyn has a collection of videos he’s just dying to share!

(Header)

 

Last Updated: January 20, 2017

Matthew Figueira

Defence of the Ancients? More like Defence of the cabbages! Have you seen my head? I look like a Merino Sheep on pole. NO SHANGE only SHAPPIES! :D

  • MonsterCheddar

    Glad to see this survived. Otherwise a revolt would’ve been on the cards.

  • Yay! Good, Bad and Ugly did not roll a 20!

    • MonsterCheddar

      I was first. 😛

      • I had to spell check

        • VampyreSquirrel

          You spell check?

          • 60% of the time I spell correctly every time.

          • MonsterCheddar

            Who knew?

          • PurplePariah

            *cheque

          • For everything else. There is MasterCard.

        • MonsterCheddar

          HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

  • Gratz AVO!

    Welcome back…until the IT guys hunt the URL down again 🙁

  • VampyreSquirrel

    IT STILL LIVES!!!!

  • MonsterCheddar

    Okay. Its still here. So what now?

    • We talk food!

      • MonsterCheddar

        Oh yes.

      • VampyreSquirrel

        Food? What dat?

        • That vegetarian pizza you had to make yourself feel good and bad at the same time.

          • PurplePariah

            So basically nothing.

            What about burgers, those always spark debate.

          • VampyreSquirrel

            Nope, I don’t actually eat vegetarian pizzas. I’d rather have a bacon, banana, avo and garlic pizza.

          • With pineapple and olives?

          • Hammersteyn

            And even more olives

          • Ir0nseraph

            I am out at the olives.

          • And more garlic! with chopped chili!

          • VampyreSquirrel

            Could do that too

          • Ir0nseraph

            That can work.
            I had to settle for Hawaiian for lunch.

          • MonsterCheddar

            Yes. No pineapple though you barbarian

          • PurplePariah

          • MonsterCheddar

            LOL

          • MonsterCheddar

            Yes olives.

          • VampyreSquirrel

            pineapple yes, no olives.

          • MonsterCheddar

            No pineapple damn you.

          • PurplePariah

            UGH

          • HvR

            PANNEKOEK!!!!

          • PurplePariah

            STAHP. I’m hungry now.

          • Hammersteyn

            Way past hungry, I might bite a coworker

          • PurplePariah

            It’s a new year, why not. XD

          • Hammersteyn

            RAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWR

          • Aaaaand it’s 2013 again xD

  • Hammersteyn

    Winner is you @Unavengedavo:disqus
    https://media.giphy.com/media/13gvXfEVlxQjDO/giphy.gif

    • PurplePariah

      That’s almost creepy enough too. Nice one.

    • MonsterCheddar

      Thanks. Now I can’t stop looking again.

      • Hammersteyn

        XD

    • Oh my god.

    • WTF

    • 40 Insane Frogs

      I can’t stop watching this… what have you done Hammer? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE???

      • Hammersteyn

        XD

  • MonsterCheddar

    Lets all just first thank MuffU for the first GBU from Critical Hits

    • PurplePariah

      Wouldn’t his hair get in the way though?

    • Do you even Figgy Stardust bro?

      • MonsterCheddar

        I don’t talk gay.

          • Hammersteyn

            XD

          • MonsterCheddar

            Oh LOL. Thought it was one of your dodgy things again. XD

          • Nothing about me is dodgy… I HIDE NOTHING! xD

          • MonsterCheddar

            That’s the problem

          • VampyreSquirrel

            Nah it’s one of Darryn’s dodgy things… which is surprisingly worse.

          • PurplePariah

            “surprisingly” is subjective. 😛

    • Hammersteyn

      At least something survived the transition

      • Ir0nseraph

        Did FFD make it?

        • PurplePariah

          No such article was posted today. Usually hits at 11:30. There is still some day left though.

          • Ir0nseraph

            Ok thanks.

            Well at least they can’t take my beer away :p.

          • Hit and Miss is the new FFD

          • MonsterCheddar

            True dat.

            *Glares at Geoff with meaning

          • PurplePariah

            Well it could be. But if it’s just once off, then it’s not. We’ll see next week?

          • Confirmed it with Geoff 😛

          • PurplePariah

            Bloody insiders.

          • xD

          • Ir0nseraph

            Great.

          • Hit and Miss is the new FFD.

          • MonsterCheddar

            So the glaring worked?

          • PurplePariah
          • MonsterCheddar

            Thats cute. XD

          • My internet at work is to slow to go get cat gifs 🙁

          • PurplePariah
          • xD

          • Sparkle intensifies!

          • PurplePariah

            I’m not even going to ask if that’s the pony’s actual name.

            I’ll assume it is.

            XD

          • Only half the the name 😉

          • Hammersteyn

            😐

          • Hammersteyn

            Oops, I missed that article

          • xD

            You rolled a 20!

          • Ir0nseraph

            What you of all people.

          • What? You of all people?
            Or

            What you of all people….
            (need)
            (require)
            (seem to be)

            Please complete correctly.

            😛

          • Hammersteyn

            The subject wasn’t a “hit”
            (see what I’m doing)

          • Ir0nseraph

            XD

          • Hit OR miss…whoops!

  • HvR

    ION might gone but at least GBU is still with us, happy dance
    https://media.giphy.com/media/g6dm5eMVxxo2Y/giphy.gif

    • PurplePariah

      LOL. That brought this to mind. Don’t ask.

    • MonsterCheddar

      Jirre

  • Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  • Also opportunity missed. Not Good bad and Ugly.
    best and worst ROLLS of the week! Come on Critz! Get your [email protected]#$ together

    • PurplePariah

      “Get your fuck together” doesn’t make much sense though?

      • wellllllllllllllll……..

        • PurplePariah

          No. No I don’t want to know about that dismemberment fetish.

    • Wors rolls? Hmmmmm

      • WORST.
        Not wors
        Not wurst
        WORST

        This is NOT Tasty Tuesdays!

  • So the first comment of the year didn’t go to Trevor. All is right in the world.

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      I’m not allowed to win anymore. 🙁

  • For the Emperor!

    #RememberTali

  • Unavengedavo

    How’s that for a comeback! And I also have a collection of videos I want to share O_o

    • Hammersteyn

      Please do!

  • Bork.

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