Bleeding Hearts Decry Fat Princess, Developers Respond with Calorific Wit

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FatUnPrincess

Fat Princess, the class-based hack ‘n slash Capture-the-flag game by titan Studios has you acting like a fat-admiring feeder and stuffing delicious cake into waify royals in order to increase both their magnitude and density. This would obviously draw protest from some sectors of our inordinately politically correct society – the last of which I would expect would be ardent defenders of cake. That though, is precisely what’s happened. Sort of.

Titan Studios, the developers of Fat Princess published the following excerpts of letters on their blog;

“If the game rating system included an “I” for Irresponsible, Fat Princess would earn it. How does something like this get by your company’s leadership? Are you so blinded by weightism and food-fear that you can’t see the absurdity of this game and the potential hurtful implications? I can just hear the kids on the playground now…you better just hope it isn’t your daughter or your niece.” – M.M.

“I am writing to protest your creation and selling of the Fat Princesses video game for Play Station…this video game is irresponsible and gives the incorrect assumption that eating a piece of cake leads to considerable weight gain.

For the sake of our younger generation, please remove this video game from the market- our daughters and sons need not suffer the mental anguish over cake that previous generations have.” – L.N.

To which they’ve responded with aplomb and charismatic wit :

We are not promoting food fear and certainly not fear of cake.  We had cake yesterday.  It was good.  I am sure we are not promoting weightism.  I could see how one could argue the opposite, though.  And what exactly are the kids on the playground saying?  “I played Fat Princess!  Cake is bad, FEEAAR it!” or “If you eat cake and become fat, it will be harder to rescue you!”  Anyway, cake doesn’t need defending. And yes, our game is absurd.

More importantly, we are also not claiming that if you eat a piece of cake you will become fat.  For our fans and friends, M.M. and L.N. included – allow us elaborate:

Each piece of cake in Fat Princess has 150 calories.  The Princess has four weight stages.

  • 0 – 300          Stage 1  (Smallest)
  • 301 – 600     Stage 2
  • 601 – 900     Stage 3
  • 901 – 1200   Stage 4  (Largest)

The princess also burns calories at the rate of 2 per second (look for this rate to change, by the way… nudge, nudge, wink, wink).  Thus, in order for the Princess to gain weight, she would need to eat 3 pieces of cake in 74 seconds.  To become a truly Fat Princess requires the consumption of 9 pieces of cake in under four minutes.  And to keep the scales pegged would then require an additional piece of cake every 1:15 seconds – that’s a staggering 48 pieces of cake an hour!

So will eating a piece of cake make you fat?  NOPE.  Forty-eight pieces an hour?  Why yes, M.M. and L.N., it will.  We shall however, rescue you nonetheless.

Now who wants some cake?

Read  Sony will now pay you (very little) for your Trophy collection

Source : Titan Studios

Last Updated: August 7, 2009

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I’m old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time – they were capable of being masterpieces. I’m here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

  • spl0it

    May the contents of Oddsocks “My Pictures” folder never be known

  • Ya they get scarier by the day.

  • WitWolfyZA

    Great comeback.

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