Brace yourself… Layers of Fear is out next week!

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Layers of Fear

Ever since I told you about Layers of Fear officially launching this month, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the horror game. How can I ensure that I never have to play it? Can I outrun Geoff when he tries to hand me a review copy? Should I feign sickness, or even death?

All these thoughts and more have been circulating my brain for weeks, because honestly, Layers of Fear looks goddam terrifying. I don’t ever want to touch it. Never, ever, EVER.

I’m running out of time to think up an escape plan however, because the release date of the game looms closer and closer. Just looking at my calendar now nearly gave me a heart attack – the horror will be out on February 16, which is in just 5 days time… SH*T SH*T SH*T!

You know, maybe I’m just being silly. It can’t be that bad, can it? I don’t know hey… this brand new gameplay trailer doesn’t exactly come packed with roses and butterflies or anything (via PC Gamer):

Delve deep into the mind of an insane painter and discover the secret of his madness, as you explore a vast and constantly changing Victorian-era mansion. Uncover the visions, fears and horrors that entwine the painter and finish the masterpiece he has strived so long to create.

“Wow! Let’s all rush out and play that!” – said no rational, sane person ever. No seriously, Layers of Fear is covered in NOPE material, so I won’t be playing it, thank you very much.

And now I’m back to wondering how I’m going to escape the inevitable review copy landing on my desk. Shall I leave the country? Grow a beard and pretend to be a hipster? The potential solutions are vast, but I don’t know which will be most effective at getting Geoff off my case!

Last Updated: February 11, 2016

Matthew Figueira

Defence of the Ancients? More like Defence of the cabbages! Have you seen my head? I look like a Merino Sheep on pole. NO SHANGE only SHAPPIES! :D

  • Umar

    Sweet, can’t wait to watch the livestream 😛

    • Pariah

      Ok THIS has to happen. A lot. MATTY!

      • Umar

        I’m sure he’s gonna be livestreaming this game..in the dark as well.

        • Pariah

          I seriously might have to watch that. Pure gold, right there.

      • hairyknees

        NO. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • Commander Admiral Chief

    Geoff, please cancel Matty’s NopeTrain tickets to NopeVille

  • I am so amped for this game. I just have to play this. How scary can it be…..?

    • Commander Admiral Chief

      This is an important question, we’ll get Matty right on that

  • Pariah

    Matty, just include some 0’s in your email address or Steam account. You’ll be fine.

  • Hammersteyn

    SOLD!

  • Pariah

    Geoff, about that review copy for Matty.

    • Hammersteyn

      Whatever happened to give the people what the want?

      • Pariah

        We want him to give Matty the review copy. I just gave him a bit of extra motivational power to do so… Was that wrong?

    • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

      Every time he squats, I expect something bad to happen…

      • Pariah

        Its like watching Matty play this game right? Something might in fact happen. But its hilarious at the same time.

  • Jac7

    Let the pooping commence!

    • Umar

      That’s what she said…..I think I’m doing this wrong.

      • Pariah

        Actually, considering you other “tastes” – this doesn’t surprise me much.

        • Umar

          Chocolate ice-cream ain’t ma thang, dawg.

          • Pariah

            Not even with sprinkles? O_o

            😉

          • Umar

            Not even with corn, bro.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            What about golden sh..syrup?

          • Umar

            They’re particularly nice on ‘waffles’………………
            ……….
            ………..
            ………..
            No idea what waffle is an innuendo for lol

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            haha I briefly considered googling to find out, but thought better of it.

          • Umar

            I’m 100% sure there’s a waffle innuendo on the net somewhere lol

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            Hey baby, how about we make some dessert with my sizzling waffle iron… if you know what I’m talking about.

            (If you do, tell me – because I don’t know what I’m talking about.)

          • Pariah

            They’re pretty specific when they’re blue though.

          • wow 0O

          • Pariah

            I just tried to imagine Ice Cream with corn in it. I’m not sure which is worse, that or a poop fetish.

          • Umar

            I’m pretty sure poop fetish is still worse lol

          • Pariah

            Oh? You’re sure? Do tell.

          • Umar

            You see…well..what you need is, 2 girls..and 1 cup

      • Jac7

        Let the ridicule commence!

  • Hammersteyn

    One two this games coming for you
    three four we voted many times more
    five six Matty’s gonna shit bricks
    seven eight will watch the stream till late
    nine ten voting he has to do it again.

    • Pariah

      Is there a NG+ feature? If not in the game, we’ll make a Lagz specific one. 😀

      • Hammersteyn

        There’s other games he’s ignored. He’s like a dictator, he ignores the votes

        • Pariah

          Maybe they got lost in the fro?

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    You can run away from Geoff all you like Matty, he’ll be waiting for you no matter where you go.

  • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

    NORRAFORKINGWAYINHELLIMTOUCHINGTHATWITHATENFOOTPOLE! Net nee…

  • It’s like an anthem for Matty…

  • hairyknees
  • hairyknees
    • Commander Admiral Chief

      YESSSSSSS

  • hairyknees
  • DragonSpirit009

    I’ll never play this game, so of to the land of NOPE for me… but my flatmate would. Which will in the end mean I’ll be sitting in the corner of my room trying to avoid all the sound effects coming from the game!

  • HvR

    My guess is that the candles must be lit to keep the darkness away.

    Now that would be awesome Sony dildo + Eyetoy/Kinect game.
    Try to light 3 candles with your shaking hand while you hear your 2 tooth aunt from PE is smelling you out.

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