Cookie Clicker version 2.0 is here to take over your life once again

2 min read
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Cookie Clicker

Hey, looks like that’s a lot of work you’ve got there. It would be darn shame if somebody were to distract you with, oh I don’t know, a new version of Cookie Clicker or something!

I’ll tell you all about it in a second. I just want to upgrade my cursors quick. Oh and my grandmas. Work faster ladies – that dough isn’t going to make itself!

Where was I? Oh yes! Version 2.0 of Cookie Clicker is out now, and it’s addictive as ever. Seriously, if you have a lot of work to do, I’d recommend hightailing it now before you get pulled into the pit of unproductiveness for the foreseeable future. Don’t you dare click this link, or this one, or even this one!

Hang on, I have enough cookies to purchase an entire mine? Hooray! I’m just a few short of upgrading my farms though. Sorry, I know I’m being rude. Please don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back. I just need to speed production up with a few hundred clicks or so.

And done! Right. You avoided clicking all the links above, right? Of course you didn’t, you fell straight into my trap! I need you to all join me in the addiction that is Cookie Clicker, which has now been upgraded to include the following (via Polygon):

  • 3 new buildings : banks, temples, and wizard towers; these have been added in-between existing buildings and as such, may disrupt some building related achievements
  • the ascension system has been redone from scratch, with a new heavenly upgrade tree
  • mysterious new features such as angel-powered offline progression, challenge runs, and a cookie dragon
  • sounds have been added
  • heaps of rebalancing and bug fixes
  • a couple more upgrades and achievements, probably
  • fresh new options to further customise your cookie-clicking experience
  • quality-of-life improvements : better bulk-buy, better switches, etc
  • added some general polish
  • tons of other little things we can’t even remember right now

If you had any plans for getting work today, well, I’m sorry. Embrace the cookies, let them flow!

Last Updated: February 9, 2016

Matthew Figueira

Defence of the Ancients? More like Defence of the cabbages! Have you seen my head? I look like a Merino Sheep on pole. NO SHANGE only SHAPPIES! :D

  • HvR
    • hairyknees

      O_O

    • Commander Bob

      Purge it with the righteous fires of the Emperor. Then ensure it’s demise with an exterminatus order.

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        I prefer it if people ask first, but in this case I’ll allow it.

        • Commander Bob

          I could go on a rant about false Emperors but seeing as you agree I think in this case, and only this case, we can be unlikely allies. Let’s hope we both make our morale checks 🙂

    • PoisonedBelial

      The fuck is this shit?
      I now need bleach for my eyes and ears.
      Plus, I will have to go into hiding due to burning down my office.

  • Captain JJ ‘saurus

    Thank you for not using the line: That’s how the cookie crumbles.

    • hairyknees

      IT WAS TEMPTING

      • Captain JJ ‘saurus

        😀

  • Frik van der Hewerskink

    Why exactly is my chrome bitching in my years about lazygamers security ?

    • Snowlock2.0

      Same for me. Just re navigated to page and it was fine.

  • Snowlock2.0

    Thanks for this post. I have posted the link to everyone and they are sad.

    • hairyknees

      So evil! xD

      • Snowlock2.0

        I lost 3 weeks to this game last time. So time for a little pay back.

  • Commander Admiral Chief

    Clicker Heroes is my weak point

    • Snowlock2.0

      was so glad when my game corrupted. I could finally escape.

      • Commander Admiral Chief

        LOL

    • Coughsie

      For me it’s CH and CC and also swarmsim. I’ve literally lost 3 years already.

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    Spice cookies!

  • I never found the appeal in this AT ALL.

    • Captain JJ ‘saurus

      I’ve never played it myself. My only exposure to it has been on Lagz

      • Yeah. Not sure why people would waste their time on this.

    • hairyknees

      Leave it open in a browser… go back every few minutes 😛

  • VampyreSquirrel

    up to 31.8 cps… i’ve been playing for 15 minutes… so sad

    • VampyreSquirrel

      158cps and only 30 min in 😛

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