Dangerous Golf is making the world’s most boring sport fun

3 min read


A few years ago, I was sitting inside a hall, watching EA’s annual press conference – I can’t quite recall if it was E3, or Gamescom, as they all sort of blur in to one event in my head. Anyway, EA showed off a trailer for a new golf game, that somehow involved battleships and wanton destruction – and I laughed. That derisive laugh that mostly happens in your head, and sometimes exits your nose as little more than barely audible puff of air.

I thought the idea of an off-centre golf game was, frankly, stupid. It seems EA eventually did too, because that gamer never really happened. EA and I? We were both wrong.

There is a game of that sort coming, from a new studio made up of former Criterion developers; Three Fields Entertainment. Called Dangerous Golf, it fuses Burnout’s general design ethos with what may be one of the world’s most boring spectator sports on the planet – and by golly, does it sound like a lot of fun.

“Smash a priceless chandelier, set fire to a gas station and destroy a kitchen full of china — this isn’t your average golf game,” says the press release.

“Available for download at the Xbox Store, PlayStation Store and Steam in May 2016, Dangerous Golf is an irreverent, silly, fun approach to golf games that challenges players to break the rules and wreak havoc on more than 100 holes in four unexpected locations.

It’s as serious a golf game as Burnout was a serious simulation to driving games. We wanted to mix the attitude of Burnout with the destruction of Black whilst setting the golf ball on fire — a nod to NBA Jam. This type of gameplay is part of our DNA, and something we think our fans will truly enjoy.”

I hate racing games – but Burnout is one of my favourite franchises ever – and anybody who’s able to take something I actively dislike and make it unbelievably fun has my interest piqued.

“In Dangerous Golf, players aren’t striving for Par or aiming for Birdie — they’re playing for dollar damage as their high score. As they progress throughout the game, players will not only be awarded points for trick shots and ricochet techniques, but they’ll also get rewarded for destroying stuff by turning their golf ball into a bomb and setting off their SmashBreaker. Destructive powers increase as the ball heats up, ensuring that the most elaborate shots are not only the most rewarded, but the most impressive to watch.

The action takes place in a series of elaborate indoor and outdoor locations including a hotel kitchen, a glittering palace ballroom, a rural gas station and a stately medieval castle. Featuring turn-based play in both on and offline multiplayer, Dangerous Golf awards points based on destruction, encouraging players to get creative as they wreak havoc in an effort to increase their score.”

And while the game itself may be irreverent and silly, the underlying technology is anything but. The game is wholly physics based, and will leverage PhysX, Apex Destruction and Flex to create the very destructible world its set in.

Last Updated: January 27, 2016

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I’m old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time – they were capable of being masterpieces. I’m here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

  • Original Heretic

    But will you get to destroy Tiger’s wood? Wait, I think perhaps his wife already did that.

    • HvR

      Somebody should really make South Park’s version of Tiger Woods Golf

  • VampyreSquirrel

    I… I… I want this

    • Remember all those games of golf in GTAV! SOooo much fun!

      • VampyreSquirrel

        Yeah, that was great fun, and sometimes the most frustrating golf ever.

        • Anything with OvG in is frustrating!

          • VampyreSquirrel

            Oh so true… especially shooters.

          • Lol, he wasn’t that bad in Borderlands… REVIVE ME!

          • VampyreSquirrel

            “Where’s oVg?”
            “Up ahead… dying”
            “Oh ok”

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            That’s something I like now in the game which shall not be mentioned. 4 revives per mission. Revived a guy twice in less than a minute yesterday in a low level mission. 3rd time I thought, fuck it I’m not his babysitter – he can die & revive his own ass. And I didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty.

          • VampyreSquirrel

            LOL! That’s sad… not even I go down that often in that game.

            I actually need to try get back into “the game that shall not be named”, but I just don’t have a lot of gaming time at this current juncture… which will change quite soon.

          • How is the new alert, are you getting any of the new mods?

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            I’ve got 5 of the new ones after 12 runs & a bunch of duplicates. None of the rares.

            It’s not bad, kinda easy though. First thing you do is 2 spy missions & 2 mobile defenses – all very low level. That unlocks the acolyte missions, have to defeat them 10 times to complete that part of the event. They run on timers so aren’t always available, they just pop up on a random planet node. You run the normal mission and as you go along they’ll warp in for a minute or two, do enough damage & they’ll drop a mod when leaving again.

          • Okie dokie, thanks for the info. Hopefully I can kickoff tonight and not miss out on too many mods

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            Oh, and you get the special enemies again in the spy & md missions, like bailiffs and whatnot. Nice to see them again, even if only for a second because they’re lvl 7 huehuehue.

            Should have plenty of time, when I left last night the one acolyte was on 75% health or so, the other 2 were still in the high 90’s, others had even made an appearance. Each one has their own drops too.

          • Shyt. The one is at 7% after checking the tracker… work is always in the way of gaming!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            They’ll still drop in the final part of the event once that kicks off.

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    Like a Tiger in a china shop!

    • NO!

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        YES! Also, shut up!

        • No, minus, open down!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            Oi! No cheating!

          • Teheheh ><

  • Adding this to my wishlist 😛

    • VampyreSquirrel

      I can’t find it on Steam yet 😛

    • Jan Prins

      Read that as wristlist.

  • Hammersteyn

    Pfffft you should see me at a mashie course with a six pack of beers. Now that’s dangerous golf.

    • VampyreSquirrel

      Adventure Golf (putt-putt), beer, hot day… that ends up being dangerous golf.

  • HvR
  • Cool, another sports game OvG can bear me at…

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      Like this?

      • HAHAHAHAHAH! I said bear, not lose another Oscar 0_O

    • miaau

      Fallout 4 version of baseball, perhaps?

  • I bought a pool game the other day and it’s oddly addictive as heck, so this could work.

  • BakedBagel

    I come here posing the REAL questions.
    Is Geoff a fan of the front or back 9?

    ( ?° ?? ?°)

    • the 19th hole. Nothing else.

      • miaau

        totally. Played golf once or twice, some corporate day stuff. Did not leave me wanting anything more than a good scotch on the rocks for afters.

        Also, I strongly suspect @BakedBagel:disqus is making a very dirty reference with the comment, but I fail to understand it.

  • Dane


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