FFD: Things that work in video games that you wished worked in real life

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FFDreallife

Video games are not real life. That doesn’t really need to be said, except perhaps to those who’re unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality, but I digress. Sometimes, there are things in video games, or systems in video games that you just wish would work the same way in the real world.

I know, growing up, that really wished that I had built-in F5 and F7 keys. As many of you would recall, in the old days, those would typically be the used for saving and restoring – and a great big, silly part of my brain really, really wished I could save, try something stupid/brave/reckless/destructive (etc!), see the outcome, and restore if things went south.

I’ve also really liked the idea of being able to heal behind cover. No matter how grievous your injury, ducking behind a couch would magically heal your wounds better than time. Of course, there’s also respawning – and it would be interesting living in a world where death wasn’t quite as permanent.

It’d also be nice sometimes, when faced with a life-changing choice or decision, to have four easily digestible ones laid out for you, instead of the infinite possibilities and probabilities we have now. Life as a mundane Telltale game? Sounds okay to me.

Being able to build the most glorious structures and building using crap you picked up off the street?

One thing I’d love to be able to do? Utilise a Mario Kart ™ Blue Shell in traffic, especially if it goes right for the bastard who just cut me off.

What video game systems, items or mechanics do you wish worked the same way in real life?

Header Source: AledLewis.com (where you can buy a snazzy print, plus more)

Last Updated: January 29, 2016

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I’m old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time – they were capable of being masterpieces. I’m here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

  • Mistake Not…

    Infinite money glitches

  • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

    Quick save

  • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

    “What is a Flamebait Friday Debate, you ask? Well, it’s an opportunity for our readers to debate a topic. Usually inspired by ongoing discussions in gaming, or major upheavals, or fights we have in our office chat, this article is for you, the readers. Here, we encourage open discussion about the topic at hand. For those who might not be aware, this article is not meant to be a highly researched and fact-checked affair – this is just about inciting debate in our community and getting everyone talking about an interesting or inflammatory discussion point.”

    Oh you!

  • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

    Force Powers

  • Alt F4

    • Mistake Not…

      That’s quite dark

    • VampyreSquirrel

      Dude! What’s your Uplay username so I can add you?

      • Messaged you on ye olden cellphone 🙂

        • VampyreSquirrel

          Thanking thee squire, request hath been delivered to TheePlay

          • We are the knights who say NI !

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        I need both your numbers, you know, FOR SCIENCE

        • Shall give it to you on steams 🙂

          • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

            Huehuehue

        • VampyreSquirrel

          Check Steam chat

          • Ditto

          • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

            Done and done

  • Mistake Not…

    Skill points. I’d max out intelligence and charisma, and put like 2 or 3 points in strength and stamina. Unless I find a bobblehead somewhere.

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    Space travel! Have space ship, will explore.

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      Agreed

    • Mistake Not…

      Pretty much any tech from Mass Effect.

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        Aye

  • PoisonedBelial

    Half-Life crowbar.

    I would love to beat the shit out some people with it and not be held responsible…

    Either that, or have Leisure Suit Larry’s confidence. 😛

  • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

    The best would be to level up.

    Spend 10 hours this month cutting the lawn?
    +1 STR
    +1 END

    Avoided the annoying meeting at work?
    +1 AGI
    +1 Stealth

    Saw your mrs cut her hair or changed something in house?
    +1 PER

  • BakedBagel

    MODs.
    oh wait we have those. Drugs

    • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

      They’re too glitchy….

  • Hammersteyn

    Pip boy

  • AfricanTime

    Cheat Codes, and eating hot dogs to heal shot and knife wounds…

    • Like Skyrim, “Oh I’m hurt in battle, let me just eat a thousand pumpkins”

      • BakedBagel

        Imagine all the sweetrolls

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        Why are you carrying around a thousand pumpkins

        • To make faces and pretend they are team mates because of no CO OP feature 😛

          • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

            Lol, WILSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          Because I can.

  • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

    GRAVITY GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Audacity (or-das-it-eeee-eee)

      PORTAL GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        Already said it hehe

        • Audacity (or-das-it-eeee-eee)

          Seconds I tell you, seconds!

          • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

            LOL

            Great minds dude, imagine, NO TRAFFIC

  • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

    PORTAL GUN!!!!!!!!

    NO
    MORE
    TRAFFIC

  • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

    buddha mode

  • Hammersteyn

    Watch dogs cell phone

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      OOOOOH, nice

  • Hammersteyn

    Just Cause grappling hook

    • Audacity (or-das-it-eeee-eee)

      Just Cause everything xD

    • BakedBagel

      Steyn you would legit kill yourself.

      • Hammersteyn

        Would have fun doing it.

  • Markets that actually make you rich

    • Hammersteyn

      LOL

    • BakedBagel

      THIS.

  • Loftus

    Jumping. i would like to constantly jump (and not tire) while running somewhere and nobody things that is bat sh!t crazy.

  • Hammersteyn

    Fast Travel, bye bye traffic

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      ^This

      • BakedBagel

        ^That

    • haha, real explorers dont

      • Mistake Not…

        Poor explorers do

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        You explore, then you fast travel

  • Always skip time from 8am to 5pm

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      So, you DON’T like commenting here?

      • Hey, that was a cheap nut shot xD

        • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

          KOPSKOOT

          • Loftus

            As jy nou taal korrek wil wees en watokal sal dit HOOFSKOOT wees, want wat jy gese het klink soos ‘n LBW in krieket sonder beskerming. 😛

          • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

            Nee.

            Kopskoot, nie hoofskoop nie, sedert hy gepraat het van “nut shot” (neutskoot)

          • Loftus

            So dis ‘n kopskoot en nie ‘n neutskoot nie…ottokie moet dan driepoot genoem word. hahaha

  • Hammersteyn

    Fallout 4 generator, screw Eskom

  • Hammersteyn

    Batmobile

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      Read that as bat-mobile, as in bat-phone

      [Guess who talked a lot with overseas colleagues this week]

  • VampyreSquirrel

    Cheat Codes

  • Magic would be nice

  • HairyEwok

    I wish Rosebud 9999999 or Motherlode worked in real life…

    • Guess only the super rich know the real code then

  • Hammersteyn

    Liverpool’s Football team from FIFA. What? They lose there too…. Oh well

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      …shots fired

    • BakedBagel

      Lowblow dude.

    • AfricanTime

      England wins the world cup, Beckham switches off play station.

      • Hammersteyn

        hahaha

    • xD
      Rekt !

  • Some of these comments are making me proper laugh out loud.

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      Which are your fav?

      TELL US GEOFFMAN!

      • Mistake Not…

        Grace us with your approval! We wait anxiously!

    • BakedBagel

      EA being on the side of the consumer does the same thing.

      :^)

  • Walk through walls

  • Hammersteyn

    idkfa

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      xD

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      iddqd

  • Mistake Not…

    The ability to do 360 no-scopes like an MLG so I can rek N00B$

  • BakedBagel

    Buy useless cosmetics with real money.

    ._. wait.

    • Hammersteyn

      lol

  • Commander Bob

    Fast travel, bullet time and respawning.

    EDIT: Respawning from unnatural causes. I’m happy to go at the end of a long life, just not due to some idiot who thinks he can race a car.

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      Heh, enjoying XCOM?

      • Commander Bob

        Always, trying to get those last few steam achievements before the big 2 arrives.

        • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

          LOL, I know the feeling, but I’m staying away from turn based until next week. Wanna be fresh for it!

  • GTA cops

    • ^this

    • TiMsTeR1033

      Depends which gta cops..

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        One star cops

      • I would go for V, though I suspect Merica already has them

        • Hammersteyn

          No, the ones in Merica doesn’t shoot everybody

          • but they do shoot for no reason

          • Hammersteyn

            true

    • Johann

      As in if you murder someone they will only chase you for a few blocks and then forget about it?

      • Mossel

        haha I think that is the current state of affairs in SA already.

      • Cant believe I forgot about that

  • Mistake Not…

    A proper character builder so I can decide how I look, instead of going with the luck of the draw and genetics. sigh

    • HairyEwok

      With the new creation kit we give at birth, everybody can be a winner in the genetics lottery!

  • TiMsTeR1033

    A rewind feature like in forza would be nice avoid those idiots on the road.

    • VampyreSquirrel

      TIM!!!!!!

  • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

    I need a BattleMech for commuting

    • Hammersteyn

      *Heavy gear

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        I thought about that, decided on the Mech, IT NEEDS TO TOWER ABOVE ALL

        The Gear would be nice, a more personal touch, but yeah

  • up up down down b a select start

  • Hammersteyn

    Light Sabers

    • Quick way to cut the population in half you say

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        Was just about to mention that, some darwin awards there too!

      • Hammersteyn

        Unboxing videos would be much more entertaining

  • Mossel

    Being able to reload a gun without losing the 8 bullets still in the magazine.

    • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

      xD

  • Johann

    Save and Load would be on the top of my list… Second best option would be built in cheat codes for extra lives and money

  • Commander Bob

    Skill respecing – don’t like your job, reset skills and reallocate to another profession.

  • Commander Bob

    A light meter when you sneak – so you can be a ninja and know when you’re pulling it off 😛

  • Mark Treloar

    Quicktime events

    • Jan Prins

      AKA Rince’s sex life.

  • Hammersteyn

    Medi kits. For when you stub your toe or when you flip your car.

    • Repair tool from BF4

  • Mossel

    Being able to heal any wound with a cigar and some bandages.

    • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

      You can…badly…

      • Mossel

        Let me just heal my broken arm with a cigar… xD

        • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

          Or bandage my head back by sealing the wound on my neck with a blowtorch, oh shit, my hairs on fire…

  • Have Geralt slay the monsters in this world

    • Loftus

      Then shag everything along the way.

      • Yep

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        *plough

        • Loftus

          That sounded way to agricultural… like the wife is gonna call you to bring the “piksteel”

  • Jan Prins

    Too much!
    1. Like in The Sims… Spend 5 minutes with any woman, shag her in the closet.
    2. Uhhhh…

    • Johann

      The ability to remove a step from the swimming pool and no one knows how to get out…

      • Jan Prins

        *Heads of to Nkandla

        • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

          HAHAHA

  • Jan Prins

    Run over 75 pedestrians. Avoid wanted level by getting car sprayed.

    • Hammersteyn

      In this country a respray wont even be needed

  • Blow on it, to make it work

    • Thats already real I think

  • Loftus

    I’d be batman…console, not pc or else my world be glitched as my spelling.

  • Mossel

    Distract security guards with a packet of cigarettes.

  • Hammersteyn

    Run a country into the ground without any consequences…… oh wait

    • Mistake Not…

      Can we have two featured comments? XD

      • Hammersteyn

        XD

  • MacDoodle

    Driving my car at 200Km/h into a wall or another car and no damage not even a scratch, also driving away from said crash without needing hospitalisation.

    • Loftus

      Mother-in-law is that you ?

      • MacDoodle

        Lol as if mothers in laws weren’t scary enough already

  • Mark Treloar

    Railguns

  • Being able to set Trevor on fire and get away with it 0_O

  • Hammersteyn

    Fast food that restores health instead of making you fat

  • Easy, multiple choice options to woe any woman.

    • Hammersteyn

      I have one. Tequila

    • Loftus

      easy mode :

      • Rape jokes: Never funny.

        • Mossel

          But I thought 9/10 people enjoy gang rape?

          • Hammersteyn

            Depending on the persons mom it might be 10/10

          • Dude no. Just. No dude. That’s wrong

          • Mossel

            I have a very dark sense of humor…

          • Dark humor is ok. But rape jokes? I don’t know.

        • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

          He could have used it on himself and passed out in a park?

        • konfab

          Never funny:
          Rape
          Ignored:
          Setting people on fire
          Cutting people in half
          Ripping people’s heads off
          Crashing cars
          Running people over
          Murder

    • Can’t you just use the sims tactic. Talk and flirt a few times and be married by midnight?

    • I’ve met you, and you’ll certainly “woe” any woman. 🙂

      • STFU 😛

      • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

        “Woe” or “WAO!?”

      • Hammersteyn

        XD XD XD

      • The Grand Admiral Chief Prime

        xD

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        Whoa!

  • A unicorn.

  • Milesh Bhana

    “Hot Coffee”

    • Hammersteyn

      hehe

  • Mossel

    Turn up the graphics to 4k! (I have bad eyesight)

    • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

      My UHD upgrade is on it’s way, after 6 years, finally getting a new set of glasses…

      • Mossel

        Nice! I am in dire need of new glasses as well.

        • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

          Do it man!! You won’t be sorry, I was shocked to see how bad my eyes actually were and how much the new lenses will help, definitely worth it!

  • Mark Treloar

    Turn-based Combat

  • Mistake Not…

    Background music that warns you about danger, like in Skyrim.

    • miaau

      sot of like during a conversation with significant other, type of thing.

      • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

        Nope, there you need a visual queue, like mist settling in and everything going dark when you forgot to take out the trash, that or birds chirping in the background and the place lighting up like the sun suddenly pulled up in your backyard…

  • Doing mundane shit like making daggers and you want to do it 0_O

    • Mistake Not…

      100 daggers made => Master blacksmith

      • Can you imagine if you job could actually be like that?! ‘Put in 5 years’ now master Comms with money!

        • Mistake Not…

          I think university is supposed to do that. Make you a master, but I don’t think it works XD

  • Mark Treloar

    Alliance vs The Horde

    • I would still just run around the fountain at Ally AH in Stormwind 😛

      • Mark Treloar

        Deploy Dance Emotes!!!

      • VampyreSquirrel

        I’d be deploying to toy train set!!! XD

        • They disabled it in WoD 🙁

          • VampyreSquirrel

            Those… f’ing… utter… BRILLIANT people!!!! I f’ing HATED that thing!!!

          • Never forget. Choo Choo 2005- 2014

          • VampyreSquirrel

            I kept a healthy supply of those train destroying bots in my inventory

          • I had more train sets than flasks for raiding xD

  • MisterSmurf ?

    Simple ailments: damage from falling, getting shot, hunger etc. only, not all the other horrible stuff. I have never heard of a game character getting Aids, Cancer, Diabetes, Ebola, etc. ?

    • BakedBagel

      Farcry 2 . The dude/dudette got damn malaria.

      rip

    • There is a game out about cancer…

  • mmmmmm….. Simple. Magic. From Golden Sun. Djinn summons. Yeah.

  • Not relevant, but I thought this years ago! https://media.giphy.com/media/26xorCzVxXPFRCzC0/giphy.gif

  • Jan Prins

    Rip the heads off my enemies, set them on fire, turn them into babies, beat them to a bloody pulp, hand them a doll of myself and call it “Friendship!” Friendship?

  • Hargrim

    Skill Points – +10 intelligence please
    Character Creation sliders – For after the other Sliders 😀
    the Portal Gun – Because why isn’t this even on the main list?

  • I can tell you what mechanic I don’t want. ANY Bethesda title. I don’t need a life more buggy than currently

  • miaau

    As we all know, the save / reload spell is the most powerful there is, in any game (heard of some that punish you for that).

    So, easy, want that in life.

    • Except when it comes to save game corruption…

  • Dane

    I wish I could play soccer in a rocket powered car.

  • When my kids were tiny I really wanted to be able to download my brain then turn myself off for 8 hours and then just reboot.

  • konfab

    Being able to punch an annoying journalist, and getting away with it.

    *runs*

  • konfab

    I would like to be able to legally capture wild animals, then pit them against my childhood nemisis.

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