The Lich King has taken over Tempo Storm and rebranded it

3 min read
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One of the most iconic characters in the Warcraft Universe has announced his very own esports team ahead of the upcoming Hearthstone expansion, Knights of the Frozen Throne. Arthas, the Lich King, Lord of Icecrown Citadel, has actually taken over Tempo Storm, as he announced in his statement.

Effective immediately, the organization previously known as Tempo Storm will have fallen permanently under my control. I knew a team with a name that spoke of such power must surely be a force to be reckoned with—so I conquered it.” said the Lich King, CEO, CFO, Director of Communications, owner, and uncontested overlord of The Frozen Pwn and immortal conqueror of the mortal team Tempo Storm. “I then looked up “utter domination” on your Internet circa 2005 and found the mighty vowel-less word PWN. It was the perfect term for a team that will annihilate all those who stand against me.

Image result for Arthas lich king

Blizzard’s take on the whole announcement is easily one of the greatest things I’ve ever read. Arthas is known for his ruthlessness, and he aims to rule his team with iron resolve:

Your typical esports mortal must eat, sleep, and have relationships. My players will no longer be concerned with such petty human foibles as rest, nourishment, or happiness. They will practice through the passing of the sun and moon, every day, with unstoppable determination. In the future ALL livestreams will be 24 hour. . . deadstreams.

What’s more interesting is their financial backing of a number of prominent brands in the industry: Kaza-kola Energy Potion, IceCream Citadel™, The Gadgetzan Emporium, The Gadgetzan Mega Market, Tuskarr Bros. Famous Funnel Cake Factory, Mysterious Flatbread Inc., Barnes & Baron Tomes, H.G. Doyle Expeditions Inc., and Malone’s Original Floor Polish. Hand-crafted soul-devouring keyboards and mice will be provided by The Runeforge™. O.G. Whisper® headsets will be provided by Y.O.G. Corp.

This is, of course, all advertising for the upcoming expansion, but it’s easily one of the smartest adverts ever. Arthas and the Lich King is one of the most popular characters in Warcraft Lore and his story tugs on the heartstrings of many players. What’s even better is the upcoming expansion turns everyone into a Death Knight, an interesting turn of events. I just wish the announcement of the team came with a cinematic.

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Last Updated: July 14, 2017

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Kyle Wolmarans

Critical Hit’s esports guy. I talk about esports and drink whiskey. I also write and cast for elsewhere – but my work here is independent of that.

  • GooseZA

    WOTLK opening cinematic is still my favourite of the WOW cinematics.

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