Nintendo Patented Stupid Horse Peripheral, I Died a Little Inside

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StupidHorseThing

As somebody who grew up playing videogames in the 80’s I’ve always had a spot of reverence for Nintendo; it’s their classic franchises that have made me the gamer I am today. There comes a time in a man’s life though, when he’s outgrown his childhood pleasures – and that day is today. Nintendo, I’m done with you and your systems. Well, after I’ve finished playing Scribblenauts that is. And maybe Metroid Other M.

The reason for my chagrin? This generation, Nintendo have assaulted us with a barrage of contemptible shovelware and unnecessary periphery; and the latest uncovered Nintendo patent is demonstrative of just how far they’ve have sunk in trying to fleece the casual gaming market of its money.

Nintendo have patented – and I wish I were making this up – an inflatable horse-riding peripheral. it’s a small inflatable cushion with a dock for the Wiimote, so that rocking or bouncing whilst seated registers the necessary movement. Additionally you’d be able to hold the nunchuk as the horse’s reigns, making Barbie Magic Horse Delicious Twin Adventure 2 just that much more realistic.

If horses aren’t quite your mount du’jour Nintendo offers a veritable bestiary of substitute animals; “Bulls, camels, elephants, burros, dolphins, whales” and more fanciful beasts such as “dragons, griffons, unicorns, and giant eagles”

Naturally, a peripheral as universally versatile as this could also be used as a virtual llama, alpaca, German shepherd, elephant, crocodile or coked-up hooker on all fours.

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Actually, thinking about it a little more – I could totally see this revolutionising the interactive adult entertainment industry.

StupidHorseThing2

Source : Siliconera

Last Updated: August 11, 2009

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Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I’m old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time – they were capable of being masterpieces. I’m here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

  • spl0it

    Girls like horsies.

    Geoff, have you tried running some of your ideas past Hustler or Private :biggrin:

  • Dang! Now Sony and Microsoft cant copy this revolutionary horsey tech. Well played Nintendo.

  • Darkling

    ***Facepalms

  • Q121

    Lord no…

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