How to be really good at Street Fighter V

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Street-Fighter-V-header

Even though I haven’t played a single minute of it and lied through my teeth in an E3 preview, I still consider myself to be a Street Fighter V expert. After all, I played one of the previous games featuring Stretchy Arm Guy and Raul Julia, and I was alright at it. You on the other hand, are not. You’re lousy, your combos are non-existent and your Hadoukens are more like Ha-nope-kens.

You have no idea then, how lucky you are to have the 2015 Mortal Kombat X Blogger champ/Miss Spain runner-up such as I among you. Normally, this is the part where you avert your gaze as I ascend upwards to my gold-plated SHIELD Helicarrier, but I’ve decided to show you how to not be awful at Street Fighter V. If only because the court demanded that I do some community service, after running over Matty accidentally. Several times. With an 18 wheeler truck. That had tires filled with concrete.

Anyway, here’s how to be really, really good at Street Fighter V:

Right, got it? Do you think I can leave you alone now and not watch you all get crushed by Ken Hadouken spammers? Awesome, my work here is done. NOW PREPARE YOURSELVES, FOR PSYCHO POWER!

Last Updated: February 16, 2016

Read  Capcom dishes out details on Street Fighter V’s Arcade Edition

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia’s M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    HIT ALL THE BUTTONS REALLY FAST! Feast on the tears of your opponent when they can’t comprehend how their masterful strategy and years of practice were soundly defeated.

    • Captain JJ ‘saurus

      Yep. This is pretty much 90% of the fighting games out there.

  • Hammersteyn

    Do you take Bison Dollars? I need to get gud now!

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    For the longest time I thought a Psycho Crusher was some unique KFC Crusher flavour.

    • Captain JJ ‘saurus

      Hahaha.
      It’s probably just pure vodka, with chopped potatoes instead of ice.

    • Hammersteyn

      I’d gonna work at KFC over the weekends just so that I can shout Psycho Crusher! When someone orders one

      • Commander Admiral Chief

        “I’d gonna work…”

        Huh?

        • Hammersteyn

          I’m…. f**k

          • Commander Admiral Chief

            Working at KFC will break you it seems

        • Captain JJ ‘saurus

          He’d got the street yo. Leave him be.

  • Hammersteyn

    What’s the technique called where you use your foot? Toe Jam and Hurl?

    • Commander Admiral Chief

      That foot will haunt my dreams for quite some time

      • Hammersteyn

        Even the hobbits are retching

        • Commander Admiral Chief

          Some say, Frodo is still running away

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      Console gaming?

      • Hammersteyn

        Well he did use a XBOX controller, which means it must’ve been on PC

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          😀

      • Commander Admiral Chief

        Possible, I’ve seen videos of console gaming…the erratic, limited movements….IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

      • Hammersteyn

        I get it, he’s part of The Foot clan

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          Explains why things are getting hairy.

  • Jan Prins

    How to be really good at Street Fighter V
    http://www.famousbirthdays.com/headshots/steven-seagal-3.jpg

    • Hammersteyn

      E Honda? They’ll probably add him later

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        “I just ate the cook”.

        • Commander Admiral Chief

          He ate the idiot sandwich too

          • Jan Prins

            He made a Hammersteyn sandwich ????

          • Hammersteyn
          • Jan Prins

            Guile doing a Johnny Cage move????

          • Hammersteyn

            You giving me a low blow XD

          • Jan Prins

            I have never low blown any man!

          • Hammersteyn

            LOL

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            My favourite part of that is when he screams and stares at his fist beacuse he just realised how long it’ll take to get the sweat smell off.

          • Hammersteyn

            hahaha

          • miaau

            grandstanding. sure to work and never lead to trouble down the line

          • Captain JJ ‘saurus

            What kind of idiot charges at his opponent like that?

          • Hammersteyn

            Zangief

        • Jan Prins

          We are so in sync. It worries me.
          OH!OH!OH! Can I be Justin?

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            Does that mean I have to be Joey Fat one?

          • Jan Prins

            Yup. Sorry.

      • Jan Prins

        More like he ate all the workers at a Honda factory.

    • DLC

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        That’s not DLC, that’s a full expansion.

  • HAHA!

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