The 100 greatest video game quotes – Part 2

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40

Deckard Cain

A picture says a thousand words, but since video games are juxtaposed images in sequential order, they can tell you a story with one trillion words. I think. I’m not certain how the adage goes, but leave that on my tombstone. Anyway, that’s the sort of perfect segue into this week’s second part of the 100 greatest video game quotes of all time.

Last week saw a few memories rekindled when lines from Grand Theft Auto V, Bioshock and Fallout 3. Memories of perfect one-liners, memorable lines and just sheer genius condensed into words. Here’s part 2 then, which keeps that word-train rolling on. In no particular order of course. And you can take that to the bank. The blood bank.

If you can’t watch the video above or you just prefer a collection of consonants and vowels, then here’s the full list of this week’s lines for you to peruse through.

  • X-men Arcade – WELCOME TO DIE!
  • Diablo II – Stay a while and listen.
  • Devil May Cry 4 – And that is what you lack!
  • Bulletstorm – I WILL KILL YOUR DICKS!
  • Crysis 2 – They call me…Prophet.
  • Crazy Taxi – Let’s go make some crazy money!
  • Batman: Arkham City – Even after everything you’ve done…I would have saved you.
  • Street Fighter series – HADOUKEN!
  • Halo 3 – Wake me…when you need me.
  • The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – Then I took an arrow in the knee.
  • Mortal Kombat series – Your soul is mine!
  • Resident Evil – You were almost a Jill sandwich!
  • Duke Nukem 3D – It’s time to kick ass and chew bubblegum…and I’m all out of gum.
  • Borderlands 2: Mr Torgue’s Campaign of Carnage – NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!
  • Bastion – The kid just rages for a while.
  • Impossible Mission – Another visitor! Stay a while! STAY FOREVER!
  • Professor Layton and the Curious Village – Every puzzle has answer.
  • Assassin’s Creed 2 – It’s a-me! Mario!
  • Overwatch – DIE DIE DIE!
  • Call of Duty: Black Ops – YOU CAN’T KILL ME!
Read  Ranking the truly awful Street League intros of Need For Speed Payback

As always, drop a few ideas in the comments below. They might make it into my video as I get increasingly and creatively bankrupt, or they might already be in my list, waiting for next week’s post.

Last Updated: October 12, 2017

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia’s M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • Admiral Chief

    BULLETSTORM YAY

    • Frik van der Hewerskink

      I’ve got that bad boy on my wish list

      • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

        That is a sacriledge. Move from wishlist to cart right now son!

        • Admiral Chief

          “This thing’s hangin’ on by an asshair.”

          • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

            Hahahaha

      • Admiral Chief

        BOIIIIIII you gotta push up the priorities!

        That game is a one-liner-fest!

  • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

    Bulletstorm: something about farting rainbows.

    • Admiral Chief

      Here comes Butterdick Jones and his heavenly asshole machine!

      • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

        That game was gold! Gotta get it again

        And I don’t like FPS’s

  • Original Heretic

    D, is this in any particular order? Or are you just throwing 100 quotes together without any number 1 contender?

    • No order whatsoever, because that’s one can of worms I don’t want to open. Just 100 great quotes from across gaming.

      • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

        OPEN IT!!!!

        There’s a quote for you

      • Original Heretic

        VERY good call.

  • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

    “We’re putting these lootboxes in for those who value their time and don’t want to spend it playing our game. We’re giving the players choice.”

    I’m paraphrasing but I couldn’t be bothered to go look for that interview.

    • Hammersteyn

      Bwahahaha!

  • Hammersteyn

    One I remember is when you drop a token in the TMNT arcade machine and they shout cowabunga. Back when TMNT was all the rage

  • Hammersteyn

    I am SHODAN!

    • Admiral Chief

      “Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?”

      • Hammersteyn

        SHODAN is life

  • Galbedir

    A shamfurrr dispraaay!!

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    Stairs?! NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!

    • Original Heretic

      Oh, shut your claptrap.

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        Oh dear, he’s talking again.

        • Original Heretic

          I’m not your dear. I’m not even a deer. I have no Bambi fantasies.

  • I_am_Duffman!

    Gold

    Assassin’s Creed 2 – It’s a-me! Mario!

  • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

    Brink: Come here, you phlegm-carapaced slime-faced mucus-brained furry-legged abductor of luminously intelligent but pulchritudinous Earth woman!
    [He notices that Low hasn’t moved]
    Brink: Low, you idiot! Why are you standing there?
    Boston Low: I’m still trying to figure out what you said.
    Brink: MOVE YOUR SILLY BUTTOCKS, YOU FOOL!

    • Original Heretic

      Where’s this from? Because whoever wrote it, were they trying to make Brink send out mixed signals?

      • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

        The Dig. One of the all-time greats. Toooooo many quotable lines in this game.

        In the first line of this quote, Brink is shouting to a crab-like alien that has kidnapped one of their crew members (Earth Woman). His vocabulary is a result of some cocaine-like alien drug, hence Boston Low is confused at Brink’s sudden increase in intellect.

        • Original Heretic

          Never jammed this.
          The mixed signals thing I mentioned yesterday, that’s because in that first line, “you phlegm-carapaced slime-faced mucus-brained furry-legged abductor of luminously intelligent”, he’s downright insulting her.
          But then he calls her beautiful. “but pulchritudinous Earth woman”.

          • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

            Do yourself a favour (if you like LucasArts classics), and get it. It’s on Steam and GOG for cheap.

            You’ll really dig it. Hehe

          • Original Heretic

            I’m not a PC gamer, I’m PS4 only.

      • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

        Boston Low: Did you do anything to attract that monster to you?
        Maggie Robbins: I don’t wear perfume, and heaven knows this outfit isn’t exactly alluring. I was just sitting there.
        Boston Low: I guess that’s enough.
        Maggie Robbins: That’s usually enough for lonely men in bars.

      • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire
  • Ross Woofels Mason

    Sit down, Geralt, you old goat! Drinking alone is as bad as shitting in company.- Zonltan Chivay, the witcher 2 Assassin of kings

  • Skyblue
    • Admiral Chief

      Hehehe, posted the same thing 8 minutes ago. Love that one

  • Magoo

    “Call of Duty: Black Ops – YOU CAN’T KILL ME!”

    Don’t remember this – it’s not a very memorable line. But okay, I accept defeat.

    Learn how to aim! – UT2000
    All your base are belong to us / They set up us the bomb! – Zero Wing
    The cake is a lie – Portal
    Howdy there, I’m a red-neck worm! *gggg-pwoot* *tinggggg* – Worms 2
    Save the racing for the track, and if you get a need for speed, just play underground – NFS Underground 2 (Had to google this one)

  • Matthew Figueira

    I came here for Jill Sandwich and Mr Torque. I was not disappointed :D/

  • Dresden

    MEDIC, OOOOH MEEEDIIC!!! – Crusty Demons

  • PrimeMovr

    “Big money! Big prizes! IIIIIIIIII love it!!” Smash TV.

    Also, anything by Tiny Tina.

    Oooohhh, and don’t forget “Are you still there?” From the sentry bots in Portal 2.

    Carry on…

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