Home Gaming We took Pokemon Go for a test…outside

We took Pokemon Go for a test…outside

2 min read
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Pokémon Go is finally here. Twenty years ago, this was the game that young Darryn (don’t sue me WWE) dreamed of. The experience of catching pocket monsters, but going beyond my living room to do so. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE! Pokémon Go is easy enough to use, an app that wants players to go outdoors and actually live a little. And so I decided to do just that.

Armed with a Huawei P9, 100mb of fresh data and a glorious fresh winter morning, I set out to go catch some Pokémon. Here’s a visual breakdown of how it all went down.

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THIS STAR! IT BURNS! HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! THE BLAZING STAR, IT BURNS SO BRIGHT! THE DARKENED POWER, THE DEADLY LIGHT!

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Right, so there’s apparently a Clefairy hiding out here, exactly in that dark section that goes behind the house of some random guy. This is probably how the Blair Witch Project reboot is going to start, isn’t it?

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CRAP CRAP RUN RUN! THIS IS A CELLULAR DEAD SPOT AND I CAN HEAR MORLOCKS!

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And I ran right into my first Pokémon in the wild! This Pidgey was giving me the feathery eyeball, so I decided to catch it. AW YEAH SON GOT ME A PIDGEY!

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Stats aren’t too bad either. Ladies and gentlemen, I am on the road to becoming the best there ever was.

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Right after I stop huffing after walking up this gentle slope. PUFF! WHEEZE! WEEZING! Wait, what’s that sound I hear? Could it be another Pokémon?

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YUP! But it’s another Pidgey. No worries, I’mma catch him anyway. GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!

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Okay, no other Pokémon in that street, so let’s change tactics. Back to nature we go!

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SUCK IT NATURE! I am your god-king now! Hey, I just got another notification of another Pokémon nearby! Let’s see who it is!

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OH FOR F***S SAKE, NOT ANOTHER PIDGEY! Fine, whatever, let’s do this.

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At this point, I’m feeling a bit tired and I’m sick of pigeons. And then, finally, a new Pokémon appears!

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GOLBAT FOREVER! Now this is one fella that I definitely want in my collection. SUCK ON MY POKEBALLS YOU FLYING VAMPIRE!

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I am feeling mighty proud right now I am.

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Apparently, there was another Clefairy nearby, but asking the homeowner if I could invade his yard to catch the little bugger just led to the mother of all dirty looks while an armed response van watched me suspiciously.

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So I decided to pack it in for the morning, and head home. Only to discover that a Jigglypuff was nearby…In my other neighbour’s yard. Rats.

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On the plus side, I actually got a decent cardio exercise done. Maybe Nintendo has something going here with this Quality of Life app that they’ve unleashed on the world. At least until I invade a police department just so that I can catch a Haunter.

Last Updated: July 7, 2016

24 Comments

  1. Ottokie

    July 7, 2016 at 13:34

    I can not wait for the RL stories that this game will produce.

    Reply

    • Dane

      July 7, 2016 at 13:43

      You said it!

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

      July 7, 2016 at 14:27

      Can’t wait for someone to attached their phones to a drone and capture pokemon that way

      Reply

      • Matthew Holliday

        July 7, 2016 at 14:28

        fly into the rainbow and catch a ho-oh

        Reply

    • DrKiller

      July 8, 2016 at 10:39

      Apparently my friend told his girlfriend if he may go and catch the Zubat in the blonde’s apartment next door.. Apparently that didn’t go down well 😛

      Reply

  2. Alien Emperor Trevor

    July 7, 2016 at 13:42

  3. RinceThis

    July 7, 2016 at 13:43

    Otside, is closer to the sea than inside. Math = GITFS

    Reply

  4. Dane

    July 7, 2016 at 13:44

    But… PlayStore says it’s not available in my country yet. 🙁

    Reply

  5. AfricanTime

    July 7, 2016 at 13:48

    this could take off, or be a total flop.

    Reply

  6. VampyreSquirrel

    July 7, 2016 at 13:49

    Outside? LOL! Screw that! I’ve caught 46 Pokemon from the comfort of my office chair. 20 of which are unique.

    I’ve walked 0.24km on the game. (I think it’s thanks to being inside and the GPS bouncing around)

    Reply

    • Fox1 - Retro

      July 7, 2016 at 13:50

      Hardcore gamer!

      Reply

  7. Fox1 - Retro

    July 7, 2016 at 13:50

    It’s dangerous to expose your phone on the streets these days.

    Reply

  8. DragonSpirit009

    July 7, 2016 at 13:54

    Aw man… I want to get this but it’s not available yet T.T
    Also this game might cause me to lose some weight XD

    Reply

    • Snowlock2.0

      July 7, 2016 at 15:05

      This just in: The number of muggings of IT professionals has increased 60 000% since Pokemon Go was released.

      Reply

  9. RinceThis

    July 7, 2016 at 14:01

    Yeah, cus this isn’t going to lead to ANY problems here in good ol SA. ‘He was roaming around under my daughter’s window officer, tis why I klapped him’ ‘But he says he was just trying to’ (looks at notes) ‘Pok er on’?

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

      July 7, 2016 at 14:26

      *A wild mugger appears
      GO Pikachu, use thunderbolt
      *It’s not very effective,
      *mugger uses steal
      *It’s very effective
      *mugger escapes with 10 year old’s Samsung Galaxy
      -GAME OVER-

      Reply

      • Matthew Holliday

        July 7, 2016 at 14:27

        • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

          July 7, 2016 at 14:39

          LOL!

          Reply

  10. Deceased

    July 8, 2016 at 07:32

    “THE BLAZING STAR, IT BURNS SO BRIGHT! THE DARKENED POWER, THE DEADLY LIGHT!”

    I’m almost 100% sure those words come from a Dethklok song
    Like I’m soooo sure, but can’t remember 🙁

    Reply

    • Deceased

      July 8, 2016 at 09:11

      Morte Lumina – The Doomstar Requim 🙂

      ( Listened to all the albums now and heard it there 😀 )
      EDIT: ( It’s close anyway XD )

      Reply

      • Deceased

        July 8, 2016 at 09:14

        Also Blazing Star – The Doomstar Requim XD

        EDIT: I think the lyrics in Blazing Star is exactly that line…

        Reply

  11. DrKiller

    July 8, 2016 at 10:40

    Anyone know when it officially releases for SA? There are rumours that you might get device banned for using it early 🙁 #Scared

    Reply

  12. chimera_85

    July 8, 2016 at 13:56

    Any news on when it comes to iOS in our wonderful cuntry?

    Reply

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