Uwe: Not not a F**king retard

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This just figures – I barely start posting here and Uwe Boll shows up twice! The gifted merchant of video-game-movie death has rebutted against a surge of signatures on an online petition urging him to stop. He even remarked that if it reached a million, he’d do just that. Unfortunately for him the list ballooned from a mere few thousand to over 100,000. Yeah, it’ll never hit that million – people will lose interest quicker than Facebook vampire game invitations do the rounds. But old Uwe must have gotten the impression that people might actually not like him. So the director went to the format he knows best – VHS video – and had this to say:

“Look, I’m not a F**king retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business… or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look in my movies you will see my real genius,” Boll said in a video statement. “You have to really wake up and see me what I am, the only genius in the whole f**king business.”

Funny, after watching Transformers and Hostel 2 I’m inclined to agree. But once again Uwe uses the ‘if you watch my movies’ argument, so even he assumes no-one watches the stuff he produced. But trust me on this – watching the man’s movies closely (especially Alone in the Dark) really just makes them worse. It’s addictive, though. I’ll buy the Uwe Boll box-set one day, so I can torture people who wander into my living room with movies starring Lindsay Lohan.

Anyway, to break this Boll bender, here’s something different on the topic. Edge once again has a long and thought provoking article out, this time on the industry of games becoming movies. It’s worth the read, but if you prefer something marginally shorter, check out the Wikipedia entry for game movies currently in production. Why is someone making an Everquest movie?

Last Updated: April 10, 2008

James

A total movie glutton, nothing is too bad or too obscure to watch, unless it’s something like The Human Centipede. If you enjoyed that, there is something wrong with you. But bless you anyway – even video nasties need love…

  • Fox1

    “to break this Boll bender” LOL!!!

    That’s an impressive list. I wonder how many of them will actually be released.

  • omg I think I’m embarrassed for the guy… there’s no humility in claiming your the best…

    ARG He’s IN MY MIND CONTROLLING MY WORMS!!! THEY’RE TELLING ME TO FOLLOW HIM! I MUST RESIST!! MUST RESIST!!

  • Naudran

    I can only say thanks to the fact that Crazy Taxi is on the canceled list… I mean seriously, how could they even entertain the idea of making a movie about a taxi driver, driving around and trying to get speed crazy people to various destinations.

    Also James, never mind Everquest, why is someone making a movie about The Sims? How exactly is THAT supposed to work?

  • Naudran

    PS. Lol, you gotta love people that speak of themselves in the 3rd person:

    “O hi here, is Uwe Bool, and I have a statement to make about that ahh, internet petition. Uhhh, there’s a petition out to stop Uwe Boll … “

  • There’s been a TV series about the Sims running for ages. It’s called “Days of our Lives”. 😉

    doobiwan’s last blog post..Evil Genius Conspiracy Theory: Why put a Blu-Ray player in a 360, when you can put a 360 in a Blu-Ray player?

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