You all know Darryn enjoyed playing the new Wolfenstein. He kept saying it was sehr gut, and we are inclined to believe him. I suppose that’s why we’re happy to be doing a give away courtesy of Ster.
The Menschen of Ster have bestowed upon us the following super geil prize to give away to a lucky reader:
- Copy of the game (on winner’s platform of choice)
- Lanyard
- Steel book
- Music from the game
- Set of postcards
Now, I know you all like to show off your awesome language skills, so I have devised a particularly fun way of entering this competition. That’s right, I predict the community Goebbels up the mode of entry – you must write a comment using a German or Nazi-inspired pun. However, due to our boredom with the most overused one, any comment that includes “did Nazi that coming” will not be counted towards entries. Neither will derogatory or anti-semitic ones or ones that make light of the holocaust.
Multiple entries are allowed (and encouraged). Winners must be based within the borders of South Africa so we can get the goodies to you. Competition closes next Friday, so get goose-stepping to it. We’ll close off this one next week Friday, 13 June. It’ll be a lucky Friday the 13th for at least one person.
So, why do you want to get your hands on the game? What kind of Schadenfreude will you exhibit if you win and rub it in everyone else’s faces?
Last Updated: June 6, 2014
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:05
All zese Nazi jokes, zey make me Fuhrerious
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:48
Thats what Adolf said
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 16:02
Sadly that’s why she never said, it was illegal to do so.
Stan Smith
June 6, 2014 at 19:05
Adolf was such a deutschbag.
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:06
Todayz weather forecast vil be Reich, with a strong chance of Heil
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:06
http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m75xusp8ZZ1r2q14lo1_500.jpg
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:08
The comment section is Goering to be good
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:08
Looks like the Admiral is quite lus for this one. Don’t let Mein Kempff win it!
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:08
Oh znap
Rinceinantici
June 6, 2014 at 15:24
Vinner!
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:08
I saw a Nazi driving at 88mph. Probably going Back To the Führer.
JasonDK
June 6, 2014 at 15:10
Only the admiral making comments so far? I did NA-ZI that coming…heh…hehehe…get it…hehehe
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:11
You should have read the article
JasonDK
June 6, 2014 at 15:13
I had nothing 🙁
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:19
XD
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:19
Google
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:20
Nein nein nein nein nein!!!
That’s cheating.
JasonDK
June 6, 2014 at 15:20
It must be the Jewn cold…
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:11
Eish.
Rinceinantici
June 6, 2014 at 15:25
Well he has been enjoying speaking in different languages all day, so let him I say!
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:11
That’s not funny Anne Frankly I’m offended
Mark Treloar
June 6, 2014 at 15:13
He definitely wont make Schindler’s List.
Rian Mostert
June 9, 2014 at 09:58
Hahahaha! I want to win but damn dude, with that, you win! =P
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:10
I see Admiral Grammar Nazi is hard at work.
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:12
Hitlarious
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:12
Jew shut your mouth!
Trebzz
June 6, 2014 at 15:13
I see what Jew did there
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:13
Now now don’t be a deutschbag
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:14
Nou wil ek sommer ‘heil’
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:15
Are you really Goering to ‘heil’?
Hondsepop
June 6, 2014 at 15:18
Sieg heil?
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:11
I think Hitler had an idea there with creating a master race.
We have arrived.
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:12
ExceSSive puns incoming
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:13
That’SS juSSt terrible
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:13
Don’t get a Koch from it
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:13
Heilarious!
Mark Treloar
June 6, 2014 at 15:15
It’s only Heilarious if you get run over by a Volkswagen.
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:15
Or as Clarkson advert went. The new VW from Berlin to Warsaw in one tank.
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:17
The Nazi’s had a room for Clarkson. Apparently not so light on gas.
Edit: Crap. Forgot about that rule. Sorry.
Craig Lotter
June 6, 2014 at 15:13
Winning this should be as easy as a walk in the Poland.
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:14
Don’t be zuch ein Dirlewanger und pick me for ze goodies
Sageville
June 6, 2014 at 15:15
Finally, my homage to MC Hammer…
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:16
Do we need to refresh? Is it Halt! hammerzieg?
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:16
HALT
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:16
Eichmann zis is getting difficult coming up vif original jokes
Duffman! Formerly_known as_the
June 6, 2014 at 15:18
I know. Mine is probably going to be the Wurst…
Sageville
June 6, 2014 at 15:16
…and this
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 15:16
oooh got one , Why did the soldiers brush their teeth after eating sauerkraut? , To avoid leaving a nazi taste in their mouth .
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:16
LOL!
Dutch Matrix
June 6, 2014 at 15:16
… Prentjie. Verfris…
Umar's Crown
June 6, 2014 at 15:17
It takes me 2 minutes to kampf
string_slinger
June 6, 2014 at 15:17
So they say Hitler was a Nazi’cist…
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 15:18
I’m going to be Fuhrerious if I do not win ze Compitition
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:18
“n Nazi pun? Ek dink das boot my vuurmaakplek.
Umar's Crown
June 6, 2014 at 15:19
Hey Juden
Consumer of Little Rabbits
June 6, 2014 at 15:19
They said I had the reich stuff to make hitler heil, but I failed due to me having the wurst sausage making skills. Upon fuhrer inspection it seems I left mein kampf-er cream next to the cheeSSauce.
EDit: That was as painful to write as it was to read, Im sorry.
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:20
Kampfer cream, love it!
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:20
Don’t worry I Goebeled it up
Consumer of Little Rabbits
June 6, 2014 at 16:25
Second Edit: Screw you guys it was brilliant. more upvotes naow please.
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:19
Ok, so its WW2. Germans and Americans in opposing trench, stalemate, each side wanting to outwit the other. Americans ask amongst themselves, what a common German name is, they decide Hans is quite common.
They shout “HANS”
Hans jumps up and does the Nazi salute, Americans shoot him kaput.
This goes on for a while, Germans are getting slaughtered. They decide on a tactic.
“What is a common American name?” “John” they decide.
They shout “JOHN”
John replies: “Is that you HANS?”
…
Hondsepop
June 6, 2014 at 15:20
Give me ein Focke-Wulf now!
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 15:20
What do you call a blind german: A not see
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:21
Haha
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:21
Some of these puns are so painful (mostly my own), but what else can Jew do?
Sageville
June 6, 2014 at 15:23
Jewish you were that funny! (Yeah I’m feeling kinda uncomfortable where this is going)
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:24
Me too.
But I want that prize to be mein! *clips heels together*
Sageville
June 6, 2014 at 15:26
Most of my German originates from porn videos… I’m viegt
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:22
ALARM ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRM!
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:23
Wow dude.
Total win there. Just brought back memories of my younger days.
Sageville
June 6, 2014 at 15:27
Das Boot-iful
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:22
If I win this I would be so happy I would go on a blitzkrieg with my vleisgewher
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:23
FLEISCH
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:24
Sorry I lost lyrics that came with my Rammstein LIFAD CD
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 15:22
what did ze German soldier say to ze medic I have no Hans
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:23
LOL!
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:23
I just got an invite for tonight…(refresh)
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:24
Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy.
After all, he did kill Hitler.
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:25
6 million kills, one death
KAMPFER
Mark Treloar
June 6, 2014 at 16:13
It’s difficult Fermi to come up with a bomb to win this.
Umar's Crown
June 6, 2014 at 15:24
If I was a Reich Girl na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Hammersteyn
June 6, 2014 at 15:24
Why wouldn’t Eva Braun give Adolf a blowjob?
He always left a Nazi taste in her mouth.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:28
Adolf should have tried shouting “Das Boot Das Boot” just before shooting his V2.
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:29
Tired of the invasions?
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:25
“Die spinnen, die German!” (“They’re nuts, those Germans!”)
Rinceinantici
June 6, 2014 at 15:26
Ein kain in vik a veking vall
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:26
vhat ze fuk?
Rinceinantici
June 6, 2014 at 15:29
Veking vall! You Vlick!
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:30
LAL! (Lachen Aus Laut)
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:26
Es ist (einfach) zum Schießen. = “It’s (simply) too funny for words.”
Hondsepop
June 6, 2014 at 15:30
nein mein kleine Puppe, seine Kriegs
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:27
Da liegt der Hund begraben. = “That’s the crux/root of the matter.”
Wyzak
June 6, 2014 at 15:29
German coast guard: Hallo, this is the German coast guard.
Ship: Mayday! Mayday! We are sinking!
German coast guard: What are you sinking about?
UnholyMunk
June 6, 2014 at 15:30
How do you kill Nazi’s? Von by von….
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:30
“I have no lust” in German it doesn’t mean you’re impotent, it just means you cant really be bothered to do anything.
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:31
99 Kriegsminister
Streichholz und Benzinkanister
Hielten sich für schlaue Leute
Witterten schon fette Beute
Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht
Mann, wer haette das gedacht
Dass es einmal soweit kommt
Wegen 99 Luftballons
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:32
Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz
This is a law that refers to the correct labelling of beef. Obviously considered important enough that there’s a (very long) word for it. Then again, there has been that horsemeat scandal in Europe.
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:34
ZL,NG
(zu lang, nicht gelesen) aka TL,DR
Dutch Matrix
June 6, 2014 at 15:32
Hans drank first
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:33
Ich Liebe Dich
When said correctly sounds like you are saying “I will hit you with shovel” or “I will leave you” or “I love Dick”. And if your boyfriend’s name is not Richard that might be a hard one to explain to your parents
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:34
Ihre Mutter säugt Schweine
Said only to an enemy or a very easygoing friend, it means “Your mother suckles pigs” and is thus the most brutal insult known to mankind.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:34
What watch did Hitler wear?
A Swatchtika
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:35
ALL HEIL
T.I.R.D.
(ala Zulu on my Stoep)
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:36
Ze don’t call me my Die Hardt for nothzing
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:36
HAHAHA, (probeer ‘n pic daarvan te kry, sukkel)
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:38
RADBVL! (rollen auf dem Boden vor lachen)
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 15:35
Why was a Nazi going 88Mph?He was going Back to the Führer
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:36
Already did that one old boy (see below)
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:38
Yes he is Putching his luck
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 15:40
Did nazi that, oh well(pun aside ,Seriously)
Greylingad
June 6, 2014 at 15:37
Veit…Veit…Veit… you mean to tell me zat zere is a competitzion about ze wolfenstein game, giffing avay a copy off ze game on ze platform of zeir choice? ZIss is macknifisant newvs, I shall celebrate by drinking orange…no no, juice, not ze vahn you vere sinking about… And in additzion zey vill be giffing avay a lanyard (vich I don’t understand, maybe a boatyard yes?), a stahl book – ziss vould be pointless, pagjess are suppossed to be maidt out off paper, mussik frmo ze game ist gut ja und a set off postcarhts, ziss will be gud for any travelling nazi yes?
Hondsepop
June 6, 2014 at 15:44
Zezus, that was hard to read.
Greylingad
June 6, 2014 at 15:51
Hahaha, Sorry, the gherman accent is hard to type…
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:40
OKTOBERFEST!
http://www.partyswizzle.com/assets/images/Articles/Oktoberfest/PSBeerGirl.jpg
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:41
Judging by the amount of beer per person it looks like a Friday night for OVG.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:41
Zoe, both you and Darryn must watch what you eat at E3 heil furhctose content is bad for ze heart.
Rinceinantici
June 6, 2014 at 15:42
fast and führerous
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:42
All the cars in that show must be jewsd up.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:43
Dis wat sy gesê het
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:42
Arschbackengesicht (arse cheek face)
Sk3tz0
June 6, 2014 at 15:43
For all his Faults, he really made comfy Chairs
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:43
So says Darth Vader. The sci-fi version of Hitler.
Admiral Chief Blackburn
June 6, 2014 at 15:44
NOT EVEN REMOTELY TRUE!!!!!!!
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:47
It’s not about correctness, damn it. It’s about the competition!
Look at my handle, you Sith scum. Do not try me!!
Sk3tz0
June 6, 2014 at 15:44
Darth was just a misunderstood Apprentice..
Sageville
June 6, 2014 at 15:45
Vieg dis, I’m off to play Meinkraft!
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 15:45
Did you know dat ze Nazi’s had first invented ze social media, everytime Hitler Posted news he got so many Reich’s
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:45
Ich besorge das Bier — “I’ll get the beer”
Beast Of Caerbannog
June 6, 2014 at 15:45
Zat vun was was as veak as ze French resistance.
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:45
langsam langsam — “little by little”
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:46
I putsch it to you
Sk3tz0
June 6, 2014 at 15:46
How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb….
NEIN
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:46
das kannst du deiner Oma erzählen — “tell it to your Grandmother”
Morne Nell
June 6, 2014 at 15:46
nul acht funfzehn (0-8-15) — “standard issue / mediocre”
Greylingad
June 6, 2014 at 15:47
So the Germans are in the trenches facing off against the Russians, and the Russians decide they need to find a way of defeating them without any more losses, Comrad Vladimir shouts over the sound of gunfire:
“Hans!”
“Heil!” as he pops his head over the trench – bang headshot… after about the third Hans kicking the bucket, the Germans decide their going to retaliate:
“Ivan” …. silence
“Ivan”…. ” is zat you Hans”
“Javol” – Bang….
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:47
Admiral really has coined all the good ones already.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:48
He has been practicing for nein long years
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:52
I so badly wanted to reply with a bad pun, but I’m all out.
Just doesn’t feel reich anymore.
Greylingad
June 6, 2014 at 15:50
Whoops, only saw his now….
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 15:47
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Gestapo.
Gestapo who?
vee ask ze questions here!
Umar's Crown
June 6, 2014 at 15:47
Neo-Geo Nazism …. Damn I’m running dry
Hondsepop
June 6, 2014 at 15:52
Und does ist watz she secht
Morne.Frans
June 6, 2014 at 15:50
If I can win theis competition it will truely be my HEIL LITE for 2014.
Sk3tz0
June 6, 2014 at 15:50
What do you call a Blind German?
a NOT see..
Rinceinantici
June 6, 2014 at 15:50
Zats it people! I’m Reich outa here!
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:53
Auf Wiedersehen!
Hondsepop
June 6, 2014 at 15:55
Ja wol
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 16:06
Auf you go little roten kopf
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 16:09
Why does “red” in German seem so alike to rotten? Eish.
Morne.Frans
June 6, 2014 at 15:51
What do you get when you cross a Chinese dish with Hitlers Struggles… Chow Mein Kampf.. Da dish…
Ektso Gedinkja
June 6, 2014 at 15:52
“No hans, you missed it, i said take ze third Reich”
Greylingad
June 6, 2014 at 15:53
What’s the difference between an Austrian and a German? when you ask the German directions to the post office he’ll make you repeat them…
Morne.Frans
June 6, 2014 at 15:53
I will surely Pantzer all of my rivals in this competition.
Craig Lotter
June 6, 2014 at 15:53
I’m so keen to win this that my panzer on fire!
Sk3tz0
June 6, 2014 at 15:54
I was clearing out my late German Grandfather’s closet and decided to give all his old clothes to the local charity shop.
I handed over the bag of clothes to the shop assistant who was rummaging through it when a horrified expression formed on her face.
“How dare you bring this uniform in to my shop” she exclaimed angrily. “This is a symbol of pain, shame and humiliation.”
Hugely embarrassed at this turn of events, I quickly took back the bag.
“I’m truly sorry” I said. “I had no idea he was a Stormers fan.”
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:55
I bet his name was Jerry
Umar's Crown
June 6, 2014 at 15:56
https://www.facebook.com/elokobiwallyishiding/posts/404405422951417
Morne.Frans
June 6, 2014 at 15:55
Are you Kamfortable yet?
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 15:57
(a pun using the word kraut)
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 15:57
Nou is jy net besig om jou naam krauter te maak
Unavengedavo
June 6, 2014 at 15:57
Oi! You! Get kruat of here
Unavengedavo
June 6, 2014 at 15:57
Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas… assaulted! peanut.
Morne.Frans
June 6, 2014 at 15:58
Luger over here its Adolf in doing tricks. Da dish…
Unavengedavo
June 6, 2014 at 16:02
I’d lean over and whisper in their ear… Hail hydra
Sk3tz0
June 6, 2014 at 16:02
I was watching trials in court the other day from the public gallery and a German guy was on trial for speeding. The judge called him up to the stand and asked him, “What is your name?” but the German guy just looked at him blankly and replied, “No English.”
“Does anyone here speak German?” the Judge asked. I put up my hand. “OK, come down here and translate, please. OK, translate what I say. ‘What is your name and where are you from?'”
I shouted: “Vot is your name and vere are you from?”
I got a £50 fine and got banned from the courthouse. Totally worth it.
Jedi JJ
June 6, 2014 at 16:02
Tomcat and Jerry, or rather Tomcat versus Jerry
Corrie Botha
June 6, 2014 at 16:05
Hitler is on the road. His car races past a Farm. A pig jumps on the
road. The chauffeur cannot stop in time. The pig dies. Hitler orders his
chauffeur to go to the farm and tell the farmer. The chauffeur sais to
the farmer: I am ze driver of our Führer! Ze svine is dead!
Alex Hicks
June 6, 2014 at 16:08
I’m German, and Eva Braun the brunt of enough jokes already.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 16:09
Her fault for Goebling up all the Adolf wurst
Lupus
June 6, 2014 at 16:13
I said Nien not nine stop whipping me
Raidz
June 6, 2014 at 16:17
Hit-ler me with a win!
Raidz
June 6, 2014 at 16:19
Wofenstein is badass Ann Frankly damn awesome
Kagutsuchi
June 6, 2014 at 16:19
We all want to win this. AMIREICH?
Morne.Frans
June 6, 2014 at 16:21
A Berlin stone gathers no moss.
Morne.Frans
June 6, 2014 at 16:21
I would like to order some curry and Reich thanks.
Kagutsuchi
June 6, 2014 at 16:21
Sitting on Mein Kampfy chair and thinking of puns ain’t easy, anne frankly I’m running out of ideas. I must be lacking concentration.
Raidz
June 6, 2014 at 16:22
Come on, shower me with free stuff! 😀
Morne.Frans
June 6, 2014 at 16:22
YOU MESSERSCHIMDT EVERYTHING UP.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 16:22
Eichmann, running out of ideas.
Raidz
June 6, 2014 at 16:23
How many people other than me will win? Nein!
Morne.Frans
June 6, 2014 at 16:23
What does a German turkey sound like? Goebles Goebles Goebles.
Kagutsuchi
June 6, 2014 at 16:25
I gas, some people may find this offensive, but what the hell. What’s the worst part of the Holocaust for Jewish people? The caust.
Viking Of Science
June 6, 2014 at 16:25
B.J, du Hurensohn! *hohe fünf*
[Translation: B.J, you son of a bitch! *high five*
Raidz
June 6, 2014 at 16:26
You people’s puns are the wurst
Viking Of Science
June 6, 2014 at 16:27
I find all zees hollocaust jokes Offenzive! Mein GrandFather Died in a kampff.
Ja, he fell off ze watchtower!
Skyblue
June 7, 2014 at 10:09
That is so wrong but I admit to laughing.
Kensei Seraph
June 7, 2014 at 12:24
You’re not the only one.
At least there will be some familiar names in hell.
Raidz
June 6, 2014 at 16:28
Hitler me baby one more time with a free stuffs!
Cat
June 6, 2014 at 16:56
Ze problem wiff ze Deutsche language iz dat itz so schön (beautiful):
Sk3tz0
June 6, 2014 at 17:02
I really Nazi the whole fuss about this Preisausschreiben
Sk3tz0
June 6, 2014 at 17:03
1) Go to Google Translate
2) Set the translator to translate German to German
3) Copy + paste the following into the translate box: pv zk pv pv zk pv zk kz zk pv pv pv zk pv zk zk pzk pzk pvzkpkzvpvzk kkkkkk bsch
4) Click “listen”
Cat
June 6, 2014 at 17:11
Wiener Schnitzel. Mine is larger than yours!
CAE9872
June 6, 2014 at 17:24
Anne Frankly ALL these comments are just so bayer(n) bad…
Cat
June 6, 2014 at 17:34
Zis iz how you haz a good time in ze Fatherland
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 6, 2014 at 18:30
I’m not sure if this game is a good fit for PC because ve only vant to hear vun click.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 18:40
Hallo das is Nazi Reich Coastgaurd, what are you sinking about?
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 18:47
If Geoff would to post a Nazi pun it would get a lot of Reichs.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 18:52
If I make spelling mistake writing a Nazi pun, is it a Gestypo
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 6, 2014 at 18:56
Please pick all Nazi uniforms in Sieg most Reich aisle.
aj_nator
June 6, 2014 at 19:59
If I don’t win I’ll probably feel the Wurst
aj_nator
June 6, 2014 at 20:01
A german asks for two Savannas. The bartender asks, “Dry?”
The German shouts, “NEIN! I asked for two!”
aj_nator
June 6, 2014 at 20:05
We’re all going to heil, aren’t we?
Marius Nell
June 6, 2014 at 21:33
I want zees but are these postcards are they not theez zwas stickers?
TehBrad
June 6, 2014 at 22:44
What a bunch of deutschbags.
Aequitas
June 6, 2014 at 23:12
You know vat zey say, war is HEIL
Aequitas
June 6, 2014 at 23:14
Instead of splitting the bill, let’s go deutch
Aequitas
June 6, 2014 at 23:14
Have I ubermenchened how much I want this game?
Anon A Mouse
June 7, 2014 at 09:08
All of these Nazi jokes are out of Mein Kampfort zone.
Anon A Mouse
June 7, 2014 at 09:09
I can’t see any of these puns go any fuhrer.
Anon A Mouse
June 7, 2014 at 09:10
I’m going to gestappo now.
cookiemonster
June 7, 2014 at 09:11
I CAME …I SAW……SCHIEZER
Kensei Seraph
June 7, 2014 at 12:27
Winning this would be an ausgezeichnet (excellent) way to celebrate my graduation next Freitag (Friday) and to celebrate the return of my Internet (Internet [weird how the Deutsche word for Internet is Internet]).
Brendyn Zachary
June 7, 2014 at 12:52
Frankly I Warsaw this competition coming but, my Tank of jokes has run dry.
Brian Murphy
June 7, 2014 at 13:58
I’m going to have a contest when I go to Blizzcon, and it’ll only be for people in Anaheim! *sniff*
Ibrahim Chhaya
June 7, 2014 at 18:19
I read this on Mein Kampfy chair.
sp00ff
June 7, 2014 at 20:27
Are Nazi puns written in sieg-heilvetica?
Ross Blomkamp
June 7, 2014 at 21:58
Hey boet! This fire is swak. Get the “Blitzkrieg” or this is going to be the “wurst” braai ever!
Ross Blomkamp
June 7, 2014 at 22:01
Can’t wait to play this game. Mein eyes are going to Goebbel up every glorious detail.
Ross Blomkamp
June 7, 2014 at 22:05
This game is made of the reich stuff.
Ross Blomkamp
June 7, 2014 at 22:26
Maybe Adolf was just having a bad herr day.
Ross Blomkamp
June 7, 2014 at 22:28
When I get this game it’s gonna be me, my console and mein kampfy chair.
Ross Blomkamp
June 7, 2014 at 22:34
Might enjoy this game with a nice glass of white schwein.
Ross Blomkamp
June 7, 2014 at 22:49
This game is like german peanut-butter: a little nutzy but still fascistastic.
Ross Blomkamp
June 8, 2014 at 09:38
So Klaus, yet so far. I can’t wait to hold this game in my Hans.
Dw Steenkamp
June 8, 2014 at 10:13
Somewhere a German observing the survival radar at a coastguard station, when suddenly a transmission comes through : “MAYDAY MAYDAY IS ANYONE THERE, WE ARE SINKING?!” Ghello thiz iz zthe German coastgaurd “WE ARE SINKING, WE ARE SINKING !!!” Whatz are you…. zthinking about?
loftie
June 8, 2014 at 10:44
German nazi puns? I can’t think of any Reich now. 🙁
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 11:33
What was Adolf’s favourite boardgame? Nathzee
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 11:35
What do you call a guy that wears ironic glasses, loafers, uses an Iphone, drinks artisan coffee and start WW2? Adolf Hipster.
He also wrote Mein Kampf before it was cool.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 11:40
LG should rename the article to the Thousand Year thread.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 11:42
Did anybody else notice that Lazygamer started this thread on the 70th aniversary of D-Day. Should think it would make them very unkampftirble
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 11:46
I found same of these !C jokes very illogical.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 11:51
I love playing golf with Adlof Hilter, he keeps up landing in the bunker.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 11:53
I see some people ignore the neo-nazi this coming jokes rule.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 11:55
I do not know if I can go on any fuhrer without the jokes start Stalin.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 12:08
I think I’m going to stop now before the Messerschmitt hits the fan and Focke wulf my whole day.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 12:18
I see some people here revealed their true colours and came out of the Klauset
Ross Blomkamp
June 8, 2014 at 12:26
If I don’t get to play this game I’ll kick my own auschwitz.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 12:39
Eichmann this is getting hard. Going to take a break now.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 14:49
Unt somebody call nein nein one Adolf is hitting the dance floor ooho!
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 14:53
Wolfenstein: The New Order is Goering to uber the top
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 14:55
When playing New Order you have to remember to kraut and strafe, kraut and strafe.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 15:02
I was sinking about becoming ze Nazi but then I took a Panzerfaust in the knee.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 16:50
If I do not win this prize I’ll be stuck playing Meincraft
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 17:06
They see ro-o-ollin
They’re sieg heiling
Patrolling they tryin to catch me reiching dirty
Try to catch me reiching dirty
Try to catch me reiching dirty
Try to catch me reiching dirty
Try to catch me reiching dirty
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 17:17
…
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 17:21
My grandma knitted me a jersey from jawohl
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 8, 2014 at 17:23
Again running out of puns, think I’ll try Goeble
Zoidster The 3rd
June 8, 2014 at 22:57
Well I tried….. and for some reason I have a lot of these….
Zoidster The 3rd
June 8, 2014 at 23:02
..
Goth_Nerd
June 9, 2014 at 06:41
I just saw a Nazi drive past me at 200 km/h.
Probably going Back to the Führer.
Goth_Nerd
June 9, 2014 at 06:43
Whats the difference between Adolf Hitler and Lance Armstrong?
At least Lance Armstrong can finish a race.
Goth_Nerd
June 9, 2014 at 06:43
Christians always go on about the time Jesus fed five thousand people with five loaves and two fishes.
What about Hitler? He made six million Jews toast.
Goth_Nerd
June 9, 2014 at 06:44
My friend said to me: ‘If you could go back in time and shoot Hitler as a baby, would you?’
I replied: ‘No, Because as a baby, I probably wasn’t strong enough to carry a gun
Goth_Nerd
June 9, 2014 at 06:45
Q: What do you call a pissed off German?
A: Sauerkraut.
Goth_Nerd
June 9, 2014 at 06:46
Q: Why do they bury Germans 20 meters underground?
A: Because deep down they are really nice.
Goth_Nerd
June 9, 2014 at 06:47
Q: Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?
A: They give them gas.
Goth_Nerd
June 9, 2014 at 07:10
I feel so racist 🙁
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 9, 2014 at 07:17
That will be reichsist
Goth_Nerd
June 9, 2014 at 07:19
Touche
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 9, 2014 at 07:49
Hans if you want to zee the lady’s Bosch you needs to turn off Goeble’s safe search
Pheonix182
June 9, 2014 at 08:00
I find it difficult to swim unless I wear my armbands.
Everyone seems to get out of my way when they see the swastikas.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 9, 2014 at 08:06
My run of Nazi puns is going on Luger than I expected
Alien Emperor Trevor
June 9, 2014 at 08:08
If you correct a German’s spelling are you a Grammar Tommy?
Axon1988
June 9, 2014 at 08:25
I might be Putsching my luck here but I think Hitler would be Führerious with us for not giving me Vulfenstein game!
Axon1988
June 9, 2014 at 08:27
What do you call a Nazi Pokemon?
Kickajew.
Axon1988
June 9, 2014 at 08:28
What do you call a Nazi watch?
A Swatchtika.
Okay enough, I quit. 🙂 Back to work.
Morne.Frans
June 9, 2014 at 08:41
For butter or bratwurst I will do my best to win this prize.
Morne.Frans
June 9, 2014 at 08:59
You Luftwaffe me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You Luftwaffe me up, to walk over Sturmabteilung;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You Luftwaffe me up… To more than I can be in mein kampf #singing.
Morne.Frans
June 9, 2014 at 09:04
The fuhrer your circle of friends the fuhrer troubles you will have.. DA DISH..
Rian Mostert
June 9, 2014 at 09:17
Why don’t Jewish men go down on woman? It’s too close to the gas chamber!
Greylingad
June 9, 2014 at 09:20
Please excuse the language on this one, but it’s funny non the less…
During a flight to Germany, Old Jan van der merwe is onboard the flight deck and the Pilot announces: “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest on board today, who will tell us one of his stories from world war 2 as a fighter pilot, please welcome, Jan van der Merwe” to which the crowd on the plane cheers…
Jan: “Thank you very much for this opportunity, so I was flying over Germany, when this Fokker pulled up behind me” – at which point the pilot interrupts –
Pilot: “Ladies and gentlemen, the Fokker was a Dutch aircraft named after the founder of the company Anthony Fokker, back to you Jan”
Jan: “So as I was saying, this Fokker pulled up behind me in his messcherschmidt”
Rian Mostert
June 9, 2014 at 09:21
If you can’t say “fluggaenkdechioebolsen” you’re gonna have a bad time…
Rian Mostert
June 9, 2014 at 09:22
For reference
http://www.stolendroids.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/safeword.jpg
Morne.Frans
June 9, 2014 at 09:51
The real question now is, is Hitler really an “Eisbeen”?
Morne.Frans
June 9, 2014 at 10:11
To Eisbein or not to Eisbein, that is the kwestin.
Rinceinantici
June 9, 2014 at 10:21
Too fast…
Viking Of Science
June 9, 2014 at 11:06
zat American, BJ, he is Unstoppable, he’s made of the Reich stuff!
Morne.Frans
June 9, 2014 at 11:47
If Snoop was born in Germany, he would say that its ” FO’ SCHNITZLE”.
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 9, 2014 at 18:11
It heilled four times today
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 10, 2014 at 16:20
Heard about ze latest German video games. BräuForce featuring Bräudolf, Bräuring and Bräumann
Morne.Frans
June 11, 2014 at 08:22
We are half way there the fuhrer the days get we are getting klause and klause to the exitement. Bwahahahahaha.
Raidz
June 11, 2014 at 11:13
Heil Frankly I’m impressed with the shizen load of jewvenile comments here
Greylingad
June 11, 2014 at 12:20
How many times do I ghev to tell you Hans? Ze fueel cep iss on ze reich side, not ze left…keep putting fueel into ze….Bang…wrong side off ze flammenwerfer und ve will ghev an explotsion…
Greylingad
June 11, 2014 at 13:29
I wonder what Deaths’ heads’ theme song would be? Maybe “I hev a lovely bunch of handgrenate, zere zey are Shtandingck in a row, bigck vahns, small vahns, some as bigck as your headt”
Or would it be something closer to a Jimi Hendrix Purple Dunst, Schlau Frau or All along the wachturm, or maybe even a composition of the bunch?
“All along ze wachturm, Himler kept ze view, Vhile all ze Frauen came and vent, Barefoot diener too…You know you are a cut klein herzensbrecher, Schlaueee…..Purple Dunst all in my hirn, lately sings don’t seem ze same, actin’ drollig but I don’t know vhy, ‘scuse me while Ich kussen den himmel”
Also winning this “justiz” the reich to try and do!
Morne.Frans
June 12, 2014 at 10:03
NAZISHOO!!! BLESS YOU MEIN, PLEASE WIPE THE STROEDEL FROM YOUR NAZI-STRILS.
Morne.Frans
June 12, 2014 at 10:08
NAZISHOO!!! BLITZKRIEG YOU MEIN HEIR, PLEASE WIPE THE STROEDEL FROM YOUR NAZI-STRILS
Morne.Frans
June 12, 2014 at 12:36
NAZISHOO!!! BLITZ YOU MEIN HEIR, PLEASE WIPE THE STROEDEL FROM YOUR NAZI-STRILS
Greylingad
June 12, 2014 at 13:59
A British couple once adopted a German boy, but no matter what they did the child wouldn’t speak, until one day when they went to Germany and ordered a plate of apple strudel, after eating the apple strudel, the child exclaims: “Ziss is NAzi apple strudel I vas expectingck!” To the parents’ amazement. So when they asked him why he didn’t speak for the last five years, he calmly stated:”Up until now, everysink vas satisfactory.” Ba dam tsss….
HvR - THE Average GAmer
June 13, 2014 at 13:12
Getting one last one in. If Konami was a German company:
heil,
heil
heil
heil
heil
heil
heil
sp00ff
June 19, 2014 at 09:52
So who won?