Xbox Live Pirates Vs PSN Ninjas

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pvn We surmised recently that PSN was the superior platform, on account of its Ninja costumes for home avatars. Some of you said that the inclusion of pirates on Xbox Live would level the playing field. Well, it’s time to put that test, as Xbox Live avatars will indeed be getting pirate costumes.

A shameless marketing tie-in with Capcom’s Pirate-themed RTS Age of Booty, the costumes will be available on March 25th.  Of course, Ninjas are still way cooler than Pirates – so as far as I’m concerned the PSN still trumps it.

Source : Kotaku

For reasons why Ninjas>Pirates, hit the jump!

Ninjas are more bad ass than pirates!
Ninjas have better hygiene, and they are less wasteful.
Ninjas always put the toilet seat down and wash their hands after going to the bathroom.
Ninjas kill everyone and they smell like fresh flowers.
Pirates are covered in guts and man-spackle. They have bits of spinach in their teeth.

Ninjas also have magical Ninjitsu powers and better credit at the bank.
Pirates have a slow payment history.
Ninjas eat more grains and are very regular.
Ninjas can kill with one finger.
Pirates dress like 80’s hair metal bands.

Pirates are confused about their sexuality and overcompensate with excessive displays of macho bravado.
Ninjas listen to classical music, know the future, and are very confident.
Ninjas get all the hot girls, also, hot girls are ninjas!
Ninjas can kill someone and still get in an up-skirt shot.

Ninjas know how to cook without leaving a big mess.
Pirates wipe back to front, and they never wash.
Pirates are all co-dependent.
Ninjas make complicated desserts, like chocolate fondue or homemade ice-cream.
Ninjas are excellent hosts and know how to use a napkin.

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Pirates leave their smelly socks in the middle of the floor.
Ninjas eat loads of fruit and vegetables and are all scurvy free.
Ninjas are polite and pleasant to be around and always offer to do the dishes after dinner.
Ninjas like to give backrubs without being asked, and they will tell you that you look nice and mean it.
Ninjas can levitate and run up walls.

Pirates never vote.
Pirates are cruel to animals, children, and old people.
Pirates never call when they say they are going to.
Ninjas visit their grandmothers regularly.
Ninjas will always bring some interesting video when they come to visit.

Pirates have fleas and old food particles stuck in their beards.
Pirates are thoughtless and will never hold the door for you.
Ninjas kick ass and are never wrinkly.
Pirates talk too much and never allow you to finish what you are saying.
Pirates often have colitis.

Ninjas can become invisible and always have sweets for visiting children.
Ninjas are very polite and never forget to say please and thank you.
Ninjas will send you poems to show you that they really care about you.

Last Updated: March 20, 2009

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I’m old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time – they were capable of being masterpieces. I’m here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

  • Q121

    Ah Geoff I usually agree with you…. But Pirates are cooler than Ninjas.

    Pirates have wenchs and dont have to play by (with) themselves, and pirates have keira knightley…. you dont beat that.

    Plus the poor Ninjas have to play on a PS3…. the Pirates get to jol together on LIVE

  • according to your list Geoff Pirates just made Ninja’s their B1tch… no go and make me a pie! bring me my Rum! scrub my toenails! ARRRRRRR

  • You’d be dead before even realising that the rum you’re sipping is Ninja Piss. :ninja:

  • you mean you have a zipper on those pants??

  • Darthdad

    Why is there a :ninja: smylie, but no pirate one?
    This site is so pro PS3 even the smylies are rigged! :ermm:

  • Yeah I want a Pirate smiley

  • Q121

    I second that

    Gaaaaaaaaaar

  • :cwy: like I know how to add smileys

  • :pirate: Well that wasn’t so difficult :pirate:

  • darthdad

    Oh AARRGGHH! I be a pirate I be! :pirate:

  • :pirate: vs :ninja:

  • Q121

    :pirate: > :ninja:

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