XCOM 2 players, you’ve killed a LOT of aliens so far

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Xcom-kills

I think that humanity needs to get over its petty differences. Race, creed, religion…None of this matters, not in the long run. If you want to hate something or someone, don’t hate on skin colour or ideological differences that make no sense in a society that has matured over the last two thousand years or so. Instead, direct that hatred towards a worthy target. Like people with outie belly buttons.

Or more legally, towards aliens in video games. Yes, those little grey bastards deserve all your scorn, what with their massive eyes and weirdly-shaped heads. The only good Truxican isa  dead Truxican I say! Bunch of job-stealing bastards that keep hopping over our borders and stealing our galactic welfare! MAKE EARTH GREAT AGAIN!

While I get to work on the four-hour process that I use to hide my massive bald spot, you guys keep making me proud. A gander over at the XCOM 2 Global Overview page reveals that players have so far killed over 56.6 million of the grey f***ers. At least, at the time that this post was written. To get all those kills however, numerous soldiers had to be sacrificed. Sort of like my military strategy against the Killbots of Rigel-7, where I took advantage of the built-in kill limit of those deadly droids.

XCOM-Deadliest

By throwing wave after wave of soldiers to needlessly die, the Killbots quickly reached their limit and had to reboot. An easy victory. Matty! Show the people here my medal for valour! Anyway, you lot are almost as intelligent as me, as you’ve sent over 4.4 million of your soldiers to absorb enemy fire. The most popular weapon so far has been the good ol’ assault rifle, which has earned 27% of all kills. Rangers have been the most popular class to use as well, having killed 26% of all enemies thrown at them.

The numbers keep going up, and so do the costs of war. Keep up the good work soldiers and remember:  We need to move the brandy cabinet a few feet closer to the front. Go absorb some more lasers already with your troops.

Last Updated: February 11, 2016

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia’s M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • Commander Admiral Chief

    NOT ONE TROOPER LOST!!!

    (except the [SPOILER ALERT] mandatory 2 in the intro mission)

    • Commander Bob

      Yeah, I hate losing soldiers and they always force deaths in the tutorial. Especially when you can see a forced move will result in a flank etc.

    • Hammersteyn

      How did you lose them? Did you forget where you deployed them?

  • Commander Admiral Chief

    Got my Gauss Rifle, Mag Cannon and Shard Gun last night!

    DIE ALIEN SCUM!!!

  • Original Heretic

    Alien war, alien war never changes.

  • Commander Admiral Chief

    I’m quite impressed with what they have done with the Sharpshooter, previous XCOM I didn’t even focus on the pistol perks

    • Commander Bob

      There are nice changes to all the classes. All the perks seem good and it’s a really tough choice when levelling. I’ve doubled up my soldiers just to have both trait lines. What’s better than an A-team? TWO A-teams 🙂

      • Commander Admiral Chief

        ^THIS

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    What’s with killing all the greys? That’s ageist. 🙁

    • I’m waiting, just a few months… Just a few months…

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        And that’s why you’ll never succeed. With age comes wisdom… the wisdom not to reveal your cunning plan BEFORE you implement it.

        • Says the man wearing his pants on his head?!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            What makes you think that was a cunning plan?

        • Captain JJ ‘saurus

          You and Rince must be pretty damn wise then.

  • Hammersteyn

    Trump would be proud

    • Commander Admiral Chief

      I shouldn’t be laughing, but I am

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      I can imagine him saying we’ll build a giant wall around the Earth, and make the aliens pay for it. The aliens that want to eliminate all life on Earth. They’d be like… okay, no problem.

      • Hammersteyn

        Nixon promised that in Futurama XD

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          Really? lol

        • HAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  • miaau

    Impressive stats. So, the game is quite popular then. Damn.

    Xbox release end 2016, right? Right?

    • Commander Admiral Chief

      [insert cricket chirps]

      • miaau

        [Insert plan to provide force fast track to Xbox One release] somehow.

        Seriously, does not seem to be a focus for the developer now. Pity. I thought the first game worked very well on console, clever design work done

  • Lardus-For the Chimichangas!

    Awesome fun, even if my PC struggles, the game plays well enough for me. Now if I can just stop running into Sectopods!

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