We have a bit of a running gag in the office. It all started when Darryn talked about making us his fantastic Mexican wraps, and he mentioned including baked beans in the recipe. Since then, we have concluded that Darryn has absolutely zero taste in food, while Geoff and I fall somewhere closer to the “food snob” end of the spectrum. It’s not to say that we don’t appreciate certain low-brow foods, but it still has to be considered food. Which is where the Chizza enters.
Announced by KFC, the Chizza is a pizza made with a fried chicken base. And the promo images for it are pretty glorious:
It’s actually not that far off from what already exists in the culinary world. It’s much like a chicken parmigiana (or parmesan) – breaded chicken breast topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella, parmesan or provolone cheese. This just goes the extra step of adding pineapple or pepperoni to make it into even more of a “pizza”. You could even imagine it as something of a Chicken Schnitzel pizza. So really, how bad could it be?
Well, apparently really really bad. Images started pouring into social media, and they are terrifying:
Instead, we thought we would try to fix the Chizza. If we used some high quality ingredients, surely we could replicate the experience at home. Of course the pineapple might cause issues for some, but we thought we’d press on and make something worth eating, and show you how you can make it, too. So, here’s what we did:
That honestly doesn’t look bad to me. Like I said, it’s sort of like a chicken parm, only with some extra fake cheese, that weird chicken ham and some pineapple. If we did a pepperoni one instead and dropped the fake cheese, I’d probably eat that. In fact, I’m sure I would eat that. Of course, Darryn would happily eat the Chizza as is, but he’s already addicted to KFC’s dunked wings, so that really isn’t saying much.
What other fast food creations have terrified you while being strangely mesmerizing? We will do our utmost to recreate them. Or, don’t tell us what you want to see and we will continue to give the guys awful ideas and fear for what they create.
Last Updated: March 10, 2017
Admiral Chief
March 10, 2017 at 12:40
The clock in the background totally gives it away
xD
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 10, 2017 at 12:44
Take a guess what the bottle of coke in the background was for.
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 12:45
For the kids, cause your brandy is in a can xD
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 10, 2017 at 12:47
🙁
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 12:48
Also how did you two miss the opportunity to say “now bath the chicken in its unborn children”… nvm I think I know why… moving on
Admiral Chief
March 10, 2017 at 12:48
*BATHE
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 12:49
Yes. what the oxford dictionary said 🙂
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 13:00
Hold the fork..you mix coke zero with brandy? I’M APPALLED!
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 10, 2017 at 13:01
I’m watching my delicate figure. Besides, it all tastes the same.
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 13:03
https://media3.giphy.com/media/fr3vgs7dG28Kc/200_s.gif
miaau
March 10, 2017 at 12:42
Yeah, yea, all good.
BUT what is chicken ham? ham is a pork product, really.
https://www.google.co.za/search?newwindow=1&espv=2&q=food+definition+of+ham+&oq=food+definition+of+ham+&gs_l=serp.3…3854.7083.0.7321.6.6.0.0.0.0.230.230.2-1.1.0….0…1.1.64.serp..5.1.229…0.5eB1KEOFBiY
Geoffrey Tim
March 10, 2017 at 12:42
That threw me off too
WHAT THE FRIG IS CHICKEN HAM
miaau
March 10, 2017 at 12:44
Maybe they scare the pigs half to death first, for some sort of flavour profile.
You know, like Kobe beef, but with less rubbing and more rubber masks and stuff. Who knows
Lu
March 10, 2017 at 15:23
None of that fifty shades crap!
HairyEwok
March 10, 2017 at 12:44
It’s a pig that lost the chicken game against a knife. Now it’s chicken ham.
HvR
March 10, 2017 at 13:04
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/80/61/91/80619188d95514c4548aa851aab13258.jpg
Magoo
March 10, 2017 at 13:36
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ab984491926b6b1145e7f3876fc23cab36a0398e2c8375118529c0d87d733649.jpg
HvR
March 10, 2017 at 13:39
That doesn’t look kosher
Lu
March 10, 2017 at 15:25
Old McDonald had a farm ee eye ee eye oh. And on his farm he had a – wait what the hell is that! AAAAH it’s gnawing off my ear!!!
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 10, 2017 at 12:46
It’s chicken breast, and hopefully only chicken breast but who knows, that’s smashed and sliced to look like regular ham.
miaau
March 10, 2017 at 13:03
Probably genuine chicken parts
HairyEwok
March 10, 2017 at 12:46
Pineapples….. FFFFUUUUUUUU!
miaau
March 10, 2017 at 12:49
Hmm, i could make something like this, off the top of my head (and cannot view youtube video now)
Chicken breast coated in spice, egg and plain flour. (maybe even slice open and put some cheese in?)
Cooked in oven (covered – moisture in chicke), then deep fried at high heat for just a few minutes at near cooked point
Slice some bacon into little pieces (not bacon bits you woosy)
Some goats milk feta and goats milk mozzeralla (allergies to milk in my family)
Cook bacon pieces to within an inch of their lives (crispy)
add most of the cheese to bacon
IMMEDIATELY Put on chicken breast
Wait a bit to cool and put on rest of cheese, with some rocket and basil.
Eat.
I would add mushrooms, but allergies say no. Maybe sliced Shiitake (from woolies) inside the chicken breast with some cheesy moisture?). Also, some cherrie tomatoes, sliced, with bacon?
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 10, 2017 at 12:51
That does sound good.
miaau
March 10, 2017 at 12:52
It bloody well does. But Friday is Hamburger night, as a rule.
Hmm. Woolies Burger patties are nice. OR we make our own out of Blou Wildesbeest or Gemsbok mince, whatever we have.
miaau
March 10, 2017 at 12:53
But not a cheap and cheerful family meal……
there is a reason our bloody grocery bill gets high sometimes.
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 12:51
Sub title should be Trevor face reveal !
Admiral Chief
March 10, 2017 at 12:53
Trev’s AT tshirt is baws!
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 12:54
Indeed. Now I just need to recover from the scraping knife at 7:40 then watch the rest xD
Admiral Chief
March 10, 2017 at 12:56
Que?
HvR
March 10, 2017 at 12:53
I see ye ol’ Trevor brought his own oven along on the Dromedaris
Admiral Chief
March 10, 2017 at 12:53
Hehehehe
konfab
March 10, 2017 at 12:54
I want a Liver Sausage Pineapple:
http://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/7/0/310870_v1.jpg
http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/7-gross-foods-your-grandparents-ate-that-we-taste-tested_p2/
HvR
March 10, 2017 at 12:58
CAROLYNE!!!!
STRANGER DANGER!!!!!
STRANGER DANGER!!!!!
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 12:59
I could watch from 11 min over and over. Take that pineapple haters xD
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 10, 2017 at 13:00
http://replygif.net/i/648.gif
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 13:01
I come from the north. We live and breath pineapple
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 10, 2017 at 13:02
Well you live in civilisation now.
Ottokie
March 10, 2017 at 13:03
…debatable
RinceThis
March 10, 2017 at 13:45
you disgust me!
Banana Jim's Final Form!
March 10, 2017 at 13:24
Who the hell is this Nana guy? Seriously he sounds like such a snot!
RinceThis
March 10, 2017 at 13:44
Oh he IS!
Banana Jim's Final Form!
March 10, 2017 at 14:22
You’re a snot!!!
Magoo
March 10, 2017 at 13:31
How about a Big Mac for a challenge?
I mean I don’t know how on earth you’re going to find all those cow guts and cartilage, never mind grinding up the bones or injecting the chlorine.
And make sure to leave the lettuce in the sun for 2 days prior!
Allykhat
March 10, 2017 at 13:35
So let me get this straight.
You dip the flesh of the mother in the remains of her unborn children?
#Savage.
Skyblue
March 10, 2017 at 21:21
ROFL’ed hard at “Fucking Canadians…”