Home Features Hit or Miss: Marmite is delicious, and haters are missing out

Hit or Miss: Marmite is delicious, and haters are missing out

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96

MArmite

Marmite. It’s something you either love or you hate – with there being absolutely no room for middle ground. A bit like current politics, I suppose. The sticky, gooey, salty brown paste has as many fans as it has detractors. It’s even entered the lexicon as a descriptor for something which can only have polarising opinions.

Me? I love the stuff. Spread very thinly over buttered toast, it’s intense and salty, rich umami flavours tickle my taste buds, while simultaneously peeling the skin off the roof of my mouth – and that’s just how I like it. There is of course, a school of thought (and a legion of fans) who’ll say that the meatier Bovril is superior. I may sit in that camp. Not because of its beefier taste, but just because it spreads a little easier, which means I actually have toast for breakfast instead of shredded blobs of crusty bread.

Anyway, I think Marmite (and other similar, goopy brown extract spreads) is delicious stuff – but what about you? Do you think it’s road tar, jarred by the devil and sold to an idiotic populace? Do you think Bovril rules, and Marmite has no place on this or any other earth?

Do you want a Marmite and sharp cheddar cheese sandwich right this very instant?

Last Updated: February 3, 2017

96 Comments

  1. Umar

    February 3, 2017 at 10:31

    Fish Paste 4 Lyf

    Reply

    • Grimsupanoob

      February 3, 2017 at 10:35

      THIS!

      Reply

    • PurplePariah

      February 3, 2017 at 10:46

      YOU TOO?! WHY IS EVERYONE BREAKING?

      Reply

    • Tracy Benson

      February 3, 2017 at 10:51

      YES

      Reply

    • Original Heretic

      February 3, 2017 at 10:51

      Stinky breath, for lyf.

      Reply

  2. Grimsupanoob

    February 3, 2017 at 10:34

    Marmite and cheese or marmite and honey on toast..mmmh mmmh. However pineapple is gross on pizza…

    Reply

  3. Kromas Ryder

    February 3, 2017 at 10:35

    I replaced Marmite on toast with Nutella on toast and my days have seemed to be happier for some reason.

    Reply

  4. Alien Emperor Trevor

    February 3, 2017 at 10:37

    Marmite on toast is reserved for when I’m sick & need something bland for my stomach. I would never choose to eat it otherwise.

    Reply

    • Kromas Ryder

      February 3, 2017 at 10:58

      Uusually when I am in need of that much salt I just go to early access title forums on steam. 😛

      Reply

      • PurplePariah

        February 3, 2017 at 10:58

        !!!!!!! Dying!!!!

        Reply

  5. Member Berry Bob

    February 3, 2017 at 10:39

    I think it’s great. One drop and your salt intake is sorted for the next 10 years. You simply cannot beat that value 🙂

    Reply

  6. PurplePariah

    February 3, 2017 at 10:45

    Geoff. When did your head break? Was it while you were overseas? Over the holiday? Did Darryn subject you to one of his bedtime rituals?

    Reply

    • Original Heretic

      February 3, 2017 at 10:48

      Darryn has bedtime rituals? How do you know this?

      No, no, don’t wanna know, consider than previous question rhetorical.

      Reply

  7. PurplePariah

    February 3, 2017 at 10:47

    I suppose in a way this shit is a hit. In the way that if someone wants me to eat it, they can expect to get hit in the face.

    Reply

  8. Tracy Benson

    February 3, 2017 at 10:51

    Ewwww both are so gross. Take your fake meat paste and get out

    Reply

  9. Original Heretic

    February 3, 2017 at 10:51

    To be dead honest, on a lekker piece of toast, I just like plain ol’ butter/margerine/spread (y’all know what I mean).

    Reply

    • PurplePariah

      February 3, 2017 at 10:51

      Seeded brown, fresh, with a nice spread marg that melts into it. Now you’re talking.

      Reply

      • Original Heretic

        February 3, 2017 at 10:52

        Aaaaand now I’m hungry….

        Reply

    • Tracy Benson

      February 3, 2017 at 10:52

      Plain margarine, nice and melted, with a little bit of sea salt. Nom

      Reply

      • Lu

        February 3, 2017 at 11:48

        Pan-toast the bread in salted butter. Margerine doesn’t cut it anymore

        Reply

        • Tracy Benson

          February 3, 2017 at 13:56

          I must try this!

          Reply

          • Lu

            February 3, 2017 at 14:35

            I take no responsibility for your heart health, but my normal MO is to make toasted cheeses like this: Take a normal cheese sandwich (Moz, Feta and mature cheddar combo well too). Heat some salted butter in a non stick pot and grill fry the sandwich in that, with a lid on top. flip it till golden on both sides. Infinite win

  10. Praise KEK

    February 3, 2017 at 10:52

    TOASTED Marmite and cheese. try it sometime. It is wonderful stuff.

    Reply

  11. Magoo

    February 3, 2017 at 10:53

    Uh.. I think I’ll wait for Glenn’s piece before I start debating today.

    Reply

  12. Doge Man

    February 3, 2017 at 11:01

    Team Bovril here.

    Reply

  13. Francois Knoetze

    February 3, 2017 at 11:03

    Bovril is better!!!

    Reply

  14. konfab

    February 3, 2017 at 11:14

    I am a marmite person myself.
    I nearly turned my two kittens into a pair of slippers the other day because they knocked a jar off the counter.

    That being said, there is nothing in this world that compares with fresh bread and butter.

    Reply

    • Thinus Swart

      February 3, 2017 at 15:21

      Best way to experience Marmite:
      2 Slices of toast
      Both smeared with butter, melting into the bread
      One smeared with thin layer of Marmite
      Other smeared with medium layer of golden syrup.
      Place think piece of cheese between these two slices.

      I dare you to try that and not enjoy it!

      The combination of salty and sweet… hmm, hmmmm!

      Reply

  15. The D

    February 3, 2017 at 11:16

    I think we can all agree that whether you’re a Marmite or Bovril person, that Oxo still tastes like the devil’s used toilet-paper.

    Reply

    • PurplePariah

      February 3, 2017 at 11:21

      I thought they stopped making that.

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      February 3, 2017 at 11:29

      Seconded

      Reply

    • HvR

      February 3, 2017 at 15:34

      Definitely and Marmite tastes like the Devil’s TP if Satan was a vegan

      Reply

    • Yondaime

      February 8, 2017 at 12:12

      The mere thought of tasting Marmite makes me cringe!

      Reply

  16. miaau

    February 3, 2017 at 11:20

    I LOVED Marmite as a child.

    3 times, had marmite sarnies and within 12 hours had a multi-day migraine attack. That sucks. A lot. (nobody seems to know all the triggers for these attacks or even if Marmite is a trigger, but it seems many other people have had similar to me)

    Did not touch again for years, but yeah, Marmite is cool. Better than Bovril.

    Reply

  17. Dresden

    February 3, 2017 at 11:23

    I prefer Marmite, but I don’t discriminate. Both are great!

    Reply

  18. BakedBagel

    February 3, 2017 at 11:24

    Marmite is for plebs.

    Bovril Master Race

    Reply

  19. Admiral Chief

    February 3, 2017 at 11:29

    I like it, but Bovril is tops

    Reply

  20. Ottokie

    February 3, 2017 at 11:54

    Bovril and Marmite both taste the same to me.

    I also like seeing umami being used 😛

    Reply

    • VampyreSquirrel

      February 3, 2017 at 12:26

      lol freak

      Reply

  21. VampyreSquirrel

    February 3, 2017 at 11:58

    *Doesn’t read article*

    Marmite and Bovril are disgusting!

    Reply

  22. Raptor Rants

    February 3, 2017 at 12:02

    Thinly spread? Lol. Noob

    Reply

  23. DragonSpirit009

    February 3, 2017 at 12:10

    I’m one of those people who likes both Marmite and Bovril. Depends which one is on special that will be the one I buy.
    But if I really, really have to choose between them I think I would choose Bovril. Smoother spread XD

    Reply

    • VampyreSquirrel

      February 3, 2017 at 12:25

      heathen!

      Reply

      • DragonSpirit009

        February 3, 2017 at 12:35

        Can’t help it 😛

        Reply

        • VampyreSquirrel

          February 3, 2017 at 12:40

          Can’t take you anywhere… not even to take the Marmite back… BECAUSE YOU ATE IT!

          Reply

          • DragonSpirit009

            February 3, 2017 at 12:46

            Lol… No one takes me anywhere!! I take everyone everywhere *evil laughs*

          • VampyreSquirrel

            February 3, 2017 at 12:49

            O.o

            So many ways to take that comment…

          • DragonSpirit009

            February 3, 2017 at 13:35

            Yeah I know… Only noticed it sounds iffy after I posted it XD

          • VampyreSquirrel

            February 3, 2017 at 13:42

            never thought you’d be the one to make dodgy comments on a Marmite thread.

  24. ZA Ludomusicologist

    February 6, 2017 at 13:31

    This shows how low Criticalhit has to bow to to accommodate to lowest denominator. The last paragraph contains three sentences, just long enough to be a paragraph, and with poor quality content. I am severely disappointed.

    Reply

    • Gavin Mannion

      February 7, 2017 at 15:49

      … I think you missed the point of these Hit or Miss posts.. they aren’t articles they are places for the community to talk and discuss random things..

      Reply

      • ZA Ludomusicologist

        February 16, 2017 at 10:12

        I know it’s a Friday chat… but I still feel the quality of your content has gone down. AGAIN: to accommodate the lowest denominator. There are no intellectual or challenging thoughts here. And this is what Charl (g33kporn) attempts in his articles – stimulate deeper discussion. There is much more I’d like to say about the quality and standard of video game journalism at this time… but that might be better in person.

        Reply

    • RinceThis

      February 7, 2017 at 15:56

      to to to to!

      Reply

  25. Purple_Dragon

    February 6, 2017 at 17:52

    Mmm, no mention of Vegemite.

    Reply

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