Guys, I literally can’t even…

  • What is it?


Fifty Shades of Black is… I’m not entirely sure. I know that it was mercifully short, roughly a 90 minute blur of racism, dick “jokes” and gross out “humour” masquerading as a movie. It may or may not have managed to elicit a laugh or two from me, mainly out of sheer embarrassment for what was happening on screen. Also, if you’re throwing out eight jokes a minute, one or two might land. Might. Mostly, I have a headache from how high my one eyebrow was raised for the duration.

  • I would like it if I like…


You’ll like it if you are a fan of the Wayans brothers. You’d also like it if you need to take a nap in a cool, dark place, where no one is going to interrupt you by laughing, chuckling, giggling or otherwise being entertained.

  • Is it good?

F–k no. Good is a foreign concept compared to this movie. Good is another language. This was most definitively Not Good. At one point, when the one character pulls out his swollen, hairy, throbbing ballsack to hammer home a joke, the other character says “Ewww. Why are you showing me that? I don’t need to see that!” to which I sincerely replied “Exactly. Me neither”.

  • Should I watch it?
Read  Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds review - More of the same, in a fresh white coat of paint

F–k no x 2. At this point I would recommend the original Fifty Shades of Grey over this, at least that was unintentionally bad. This, they set out make fun of something and failed so damn hard it hurt more than any whips or cuffs. Sorry guys, you can’t make a joke out of something that was already a joke.

Last Updated: February 19, 2016


Tracy Benson

All about movies, board games, cider, sci-fi, fantasy and geek culture.

  • I wonder if even Wayans fans will like this…

    • Tracy Benson

      According to the one Wayans fan that was in the cinema… kinda. Like he said, it was terrible but he knew it would be, they always are. And he said it was funny but some parts were really, really bad

      • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

        So in essence, to appreciate the movie, you have to have bad taste?

  • Well done Tracy! A beer on me next month!

    • Tracy Benson

      Yeah, I’ll pour it over your head 😛

  • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

    There is a silver lining to this, you managed to survive a 90 minute film that is usually associated with the death of many braincells, many, many braincells….

    • Tracy Benson

      I don’t know how. It was like watching a multi-car pile up. So bad but you can’t look away…

      • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

        That…is…yes, that is the best analogy I have ever read!

  • Guild

    XD Who made you go watch this? I’d be planning pay back torture of some sort

    • Tracy Benson

      I blame Nick. But then I blame him for most things…

      • Guild

        Make him suffer 😛

  • Andre116

    But is it better then 50 shades of grey?

    • Tracy Benson

      No! Not even!

  • There were a few decent gags at least.

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