Nintendo’s got new 3DS’ coming, and I want them

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Nintendo had its first Direct since president Satoru Iwata came back from illness, and took the opportunity to announce a brand new pair of 3DS consoles. They may not have the best or cleverest names, but they’re awesome and I must have them. Both. Here’s what’s new about the New 3DS’.

It makes up for a number of the 3DS’ shortcomings. Named the “New 3DS” and “New 3DS XL”, the models include improved screens which allows you to view the handheld’s 3D effect from more angles, so you needn’t have the thing straight in front of you all the time.

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It’ll also have a newer, faster CPU which will load the system’s functions – like the eShop – far faster. It’ll also be used in games, like a newly announced port of Wii RPG Xenoblade Chronicles – meaning it’ll be a necessary upgrade for many Nintendo fans. The browser will also have full HTML 5 compatibility, meaning it won’t be useless.

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Importantly, the thing finally makes the Circle Pad Pro redundant, by featuring all of its functionality. It includes extra shoulder buttons, a Gamecube-like C-stick that’ll function as a secondary analogue..even if it is teeny. It dispenses with the standard SD slot in favour of microSD, and features full NFC compatibility, making it ripe and ready for the company’s upcoming Amiibo toys.

Read  DOOM leaps over to Nintendo Switch early next month

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It’ll also feature a much needed better battery, and I just keep throwing money at the screen and nothing is happening.

Here’s the whole announcement.

Last Updated: August 29, 2014

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I’m old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time – they were capable of being masterpieces. I’m here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

  • Sk3tz0

    Been wanting to get me a 3DS now im glad i wanted

  • Alien Emperor Trevor

    But can it play Crysis, Geoff? CAN IT?

    • Sk3tz0

      Probably not but it’ll play the Shit out of the new Pokemon games 😛

      • Hammersteyn

        Yeah, I mean there’s only been what? 6 Pokemon games?

  • Super Smash Umar

    I WANT ALL OF THIS!!!!!
    XENOBLAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!

  • Super Smash Umar

    FUCK I’m happy

  • Fuck me, after 2 3ds’ already this is sad news.

  • Super Smash Umar

    Just gonna listen to the Guar Plains WHOLE DAY

  • Ross Woofels Mason

    Who ever is in charge of the naming of consoles at Nintendo for this generation really needs to get a smack. “New 3DS!” *claps* well done, if there are exclusives to new console it is a really bad move from nintendo in my opinion.

    1. The name New 3DS implies it’s still a 3DS console and there for all 3ds system should be able to play all 3DS games. We are going to start seeing 3DS & New 3DS titles next to each other on the shelves and that is just going to confuse the hell out of some people.

    2. If the hardware specs are different call it something entirely different the 4DS or duel DS because of two thumb sticks whatever.

    I am personally not phased because I have yet to purchase a 3DS, I was going to end of this year but I’ll wait for this now. It’s just a really stupid naming move in my opinion, there are a ton of people now who bought a 3DS/2DS console this year and will now not be able to play a whole load of “3ds family” titles in future because they will need the fast CPU.

    They are alienating a large part of their client base for future games as not everyone is just going throw more money at Nintendo.

    The 3DS has been out for four years, which yea is short lived for a handheld but they still could of gone with a whole new name and new console, then I don’t think so many people would be as salty as they are over this.

    This is however going on Xenoblade is a exclusive title and that there will be exclusive titles in future. You can buy a thumb stick extension the 3DS so apart from it not being able to handle the processing I see no reason why this should appear on the standard 3DS.

    The other way Nintendo can get around this is by offering their sort of upgrade bay for old models I suppose.

    Seriously though Nintendo I love you, but stop tagging on random word’s to your console names and you will stop confusing the crap out of people.

  • Jeffrey Lu

    Damn you Nintendo!!! You wanna make me get a 3DS for the third time?! TT^TT

  • J_Joestar

    luckily i haven’t upgrade my old 3DS to an XL or anything yet so this is nice. The pricing also seems to be about the same as the current ones.
    Only problem is gonna be in that name…

  • Zander Boshoff

    I just bought myself a 3DS so this sucks

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