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Conspiracy Theory Tuesday – Signs

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I liked Signs back in 2002. To me, that was the movie that first started showing chinks in the M Night Shampoo formula, but it was still a solid film overall. That doesn’t mean that it wasn’t without some stupid moments, but thanks to a pre-crazy Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix as the film leads, at least the lunacy was well acted.

One criticism leveled at the film was the use of aliens as the big bads. But in a movie where religious iconography was everywhere, what of those aliens were less space-based, and more demonic in form?

Think about it for a second. If you’re an alien, then what’s the point of invading a planet where 70% of the surface of that world is bound to kill you? I’m talking about good ol’ H20, water. It’s everywhere in the movie, thanks to little Abigail Breslin and her mental condition that forces half-empty glasses of water to appear in every shot.

So as an invading force, you’ve got a Kryptonite that covers more than two-thirds of the planet, as well as a 60% chance of rainy death later in the afternoon. Did War of the Worlds teach these guys nothing? Aliens are supposed to be smarter than this!

But demons? Now we’re entering some film territory that makes sense. With Mel Gibson being a former preacher in the movie, it ties in perfectly, that his lapse of faith has left him vulnerable to demonic denizens coming for him. And when you’ve spent your entire supernatural life in the pits of hell, water is bound to be one hell of a crutch.

But it gets even better. Because as a man of God, even if Gibson has turned his back on his faith, the water in his house is still technically holy water. Blessed water, which causes that bad reaction to the home invader, leaving them wide open for some faith-based baseball practice on their noggins.

Even if you’re not religious, it’s still a better theory than space aliens with gas-guns in their forearms. Now if only we could find a rational explanation to find out what went wrong with Mel Gibson after making this movie.

Last Updated: March 19, 2013

7 Comments

  1. “what went wrong with Mel Gibson after making this movie”, whats wrong with Apocolypto?

    Reply

    • Major Commodore 64 Darryn B

      March 19, 2013 at 18:51

      I believe that Apocalypto nailed pure crazy nails into his skull. More than what was already there.

      Reply

      • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

        March 20, 2013 at 07:17

        Apocalypto was an attempt to show that had the Spanish never “civilised” the peoples of America, they would have carried on with their wicked ways… If you didn’t know that Melli was nuts or super religious, the movie would be harmless fun, but then when you take his personal state of mind in consideration, it’s the greatest work of American apologist cinema, since the weird spaghetti westerns of the 30s.

        “Without this here… railway… them indian folk… would never get them warm blankets..” <— Say this with a John Wayne accent.

        Reply

  2. Skyblue

    March 19, 2013 at 21:58

    I rather enjoyed Signs but must admit it was the awesome acting that kept shit together.

    Reply

  3. Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

    March 20, 2013 at 07:10

    Oh snap! You’re right about the holy water, and it does make a lot more sense if they were demons. I remember watching Signs and thinking…. “but wait if water harms these guys, surely they wouldn’t be able to walk around naked. Our atmosphere contains copious amount of water in the form of vapour”.

    I still like Signs better than most flicks, but M. Night lost his mojo with this one. The Village I think was the last one of his movies I cared for, thereafter I just ignored them and watched them when they came on eTV…

    Except for Last Airbender… that travesty I avoided, until a friend of mine, insisted we watch it for Bad movie Sundays…. What a bucket of piss.

    Reply

  4. Jason_Lenting

    May 17, 2013 at 09:11

    The “demon” theory is an interesting one – I never thought of it before.
    However, what about the fact that all the other aliens in the rest of the world were defeated with water as well (which is alluded to at the end of the film) ? Sure not all the people were holy/religious people – so the water was not “holy” water. And therefore not potent enough to injure/harm demons.
    I think the demons & holy water theory would’ve worked better if Mel Gibson and his family were the only ones being victimised.

    Reply

  5. glitt3rdork

    October 8, 2015 at 15:43

    Obviously, they did not have water on their planet, so they had no idea the effect water would have on them. As for the Holy Water theory, when the radio relayed there is a primitive solution for fighting the aliens, before being switched off, was that primitive solution holy water? It’s a fun theory, but does not hold water.

    Reply

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