Get ready for SHARKNADO 3!

I really enjoyed the Sharknado movies, which is actually a rare thing. Firstly I’m not a big fan of the usual Asylum stuff, which is generally pretty boring. Syfy’s B-movie grind is often also that – far too slow and boring for my taste. The exception has been Sharktopus, though that probably went overboard.

Yeah, I’m never happy. At least not until Sharknado arrived.

Well, if you are keen on the third – despite the second film’s over-reliance on c-grade American celebrities the rest of us don’t care about – get ready for it in June. Syfy has revealed that the movie will be broadcast on 22 July to 86 countries 24 hours after its US debut. That seems a bit dumb, but maybe Americans need to feel special or something. Since Syfy is no longer in South Africa, that doesn’t include us. But I’m sure fans will find a way. You know the Internet will explode a little again when it comes out.

Yet what to expect? We know the story starts in Washington D.C. and will make its way down to Miami. That gives far fewer skyscrapers for Ian Ziering and co. to throw bombs and chainsaws at the flying sharks, but they’ll figure it out. ComingSoon quotes the makers, promising that the third film will go further than any sharknado before it:

Said Chris Regina, Senior Vice President, Program Strategy, Syfy: “We wanted this third title to boldly go where no shark movie has gone before. ‘Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!’ embraces the larger-than-life irreverence that has made these movies so popular and entertaining.”

Said David Michael Latt, Producer, The Asylum: “The sharks and tornadoes get all the glory, but we would like to thank our long-time marketing guru Mike DiGrazia who first suggested ‘Oh hell no!’ A dedicated fan of the genre, Mike created the tag lines for 1 and 2 – ‘Enough Said!’ and ‘Shark Happens’ – as well as the ‘Sharknado’ posters, including the original, which was a viral sensation on its own.”

As always, expect some dodgy casting choices. Right wing troll baiters Michelle Bachmann and Ann Coulter are in it, as well as (sadly) retired pro-wrestler Chris Jericho and shock-talk show icon Jerry Springer. But the real new gem is David Hasselhoff playing as the main character’s dad. There are a bunch of other names mentioned, but I have no idea who they are. Like I said, total C-list territory.

Last Updated: March 19, 2015