Why was the sand wet? The sea weed. Why did Santa go to college for music? So he could improve his wrapping skills. What do you call a mermaid on a roof? Aerial.
Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just getting my game together for the annual dad jokes 2016 conference. I thought I had it in the bag, but if this week has proved anything, it’s that Geoff is going to be tough to beat!
Best Stories
South Africa could compete at the Call of Duty World League Season 2
Get Gears of War 4 free with Nvidia’s top tier graphics cards
Grab Prison Architect and more with the latest Humble Bundle
Here’s the winner of the one-of-a-kind signed Scuf Infinity from COD XP
Worst Stories
Digital Homicide’s entire catalogue has been removed from Steam
Two gamers have been charged in the UK for gambling
PES 2017 is a mess on PC
Pokémon GO player attacked and robbed while streaming to Twitch
Destiny servers collapse under the weight of returning Guardians
Telkom clarifies the Fair Usage Policy on its uncapped LTE
Cloud9’s LoL coach was hacked – Are you safe?
Random Stories
The first 15 minutes of Metal Gear Survive gameplay actually looks alright
A DJ Hero turntable sure makes playing Overwatch’s Lúcio a lot more entertaining
Why of course there’s a League of Legends board game
10 Things You Need To Know About Mafia 3
We unbox the August/September orange box from Nerd Nab
Hi-Rez respond to claims that Paladins copied Overwatch
Crushes never die in Loverwatch – an Overwatch dating sim
Blizzard are putting the Battle.net brand out to pasture
Dota 2 vs. League of Legends: Updating the numbers
Brazzers have made an Overwatch porn parody, because of course they have
Reviews this Week
ReCore Review – Big Mack Attack
Pokémon GO Plus review round up
Lenovo Yoga 900 review – Heavenly Hybrid
Forza Horizon 3 review – Quarter mile Dundee
Forza Horizon 3 review round up
Batman The Telltale Series Episode 2: Children of Arkham Review
The Tomorrow Children review – X Marx the spot
Filthy Lucre Review – Top-Down Looter
FIFA 17 review round up
Is Darryn Batman Forever?
Is this even a question? Darryn is drawing closer and closer to nabbing a year-long streak!
Nite Owl of the Week
This week’s Nite Owl is none other than petrol head Nick de Bruyne! His Forza Horizon 3 review hit all the right notes with our magic Nite Owl formula it seems.
Header of the Week
Disney isn’t expecting Rogue One to make billions? Oh I bet, just look at poor Mickey crying.
Most Comments
You were all a little less chatty this week. The most comments came from the Telkom clarifies the Fair Usage Policy on its uncapped LTE article. That piece only managed to drum up 66 comments.
Comments of the Week
My favourite comments come from the article I wrote about Loverwatch, an Overwatch dating simulator. I seemed to cause much distress by writing it, and saying I’d totally play it…
Admiral Chief: Kill it with fire
Pariah: Matty. No.
Sageville: why you do this Matty? Why?
Deceased: … No Matts, just no 😐
I’m so sorry friends!
Bonus Premium Content
What the hell did I just watch?
This just in, from a fellow friendly Wookiee…
(Header)
Last Updated: September 23, 2016
Pariah ???
September 23, 2016 at 12:35
Seriously Matty. No.
Matthew Figueira
September 23, 2016 at 14:13
🙁
Pariah ???
September 23, 2016 at 14:49
Hello Poppet
HvR
September 23, 2016 at 12:40
Original Heretic
September 23, 2016 at 14:01
Love this series!
The Order of the Banana
September 23, 2016 at 12:45
Don’t lie Matty, you’re Batman!!
Dane
September 23, 2016 at 12:46
Maybe you should just change the Ts & Cs and call him “Fatman of the week”
HvR
September 23, 2016 at 13:14
Batpug of the week
R1ker
September 23, 2016 at 13:34
What happened to Hammerstein? I miss all the up votes 😀
Original Heretic
September 23, 2016 at 14:01
Was wondering the same thing. No really bothered with the upvotes, but Hammer is sorely missed here. Hope he’s ok.
Matthew Figueira
September 23, 2016 at 14:13
He’s fine 🙂 he was on holiday as far as I know.
Original Heretic
September 23, 2016 at 14:15
“As far as you know”?!?
I’m hearing Jaws music…
??????? ????? ™
September 23, 2016 at 15:20
He went to a different country, he’s more than ok though (we are ‘offline’ friends)
Original Heretic
September 23, 2016 at 15:23
Good to hear, thanks.
VampyreSquirrel
September 23, 2016 at 16:49
“offline friends” sounds dodgy.
??????? ????? ™
September 23, 2016 at 15:20
Yay, mentioned!!!
HvR
September 23, 2016 at 15:22
Ja but 4 way split is like a millennial participation award
??????? ????? ™
September 23, 2016 at 15:46
DON’T CARE YAY MENTIONED!!! I’M A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE SPLIT IN FOUR!!!