Here's the new GHOSTBUSTERS cast

After months of speculation the word is finally out on who the new Ghostbusters will be – and it’s not all that surprising. We know Paul Feig is directing, while his The Heat collaborator Katie Dippold is doing writing honours. As such, is there any surprise that the movie will star Melissa McCarthy, who appeared in both Bridesmaids and another Feig hit The Heat? Given the gnashing of teeth among some of The Movies’ writers, a few people were hoping that wouldn’t be the case. Good thing I never gave out copies of Tammy for Secret Santa, because not even McCarthy’s fans liked that.

But many places are loving the selection, which also includes Kristen Wigg, Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon, who like Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray all have Saturday Night Live pedigree. Another interesting fact: all four women are over 30. Considering how every new bit of casting news seems to be accompanied by photos of actors somewhere between babyface and jailbait, that’s a nice change.

The selection seems to be drawing mixed responses, depending on where you look. Some comments are a mix of happiness and griping, the latter mostly because of the remake itself. Some comments are deeply scarred and may end up threatening self mutilation to stop this from happening. This one belts out approval and then immediately shoots itself in the foot:

The all-female new Ghostbusters cast is awesome! I hope Beyonce does a remix of the theme song! http://t.co/5KrjYhLRsW

— Sherman Alexie (@Sherman_Alexie) January 28, 2015

Nothing against Beyonce, but you know hubby Jay-Z would be all over this. I’m a fan of Mr. Carter’s work, yet he also made The Great Gatsby‘s controversial soundtrack. Then there was the agonising Ghostbusters 2 theme, made by Run D.M. f***ing C. The rap game might need you, Jigga, but Ghostbusters is hip hop cursed.

Ultimately this settles the single biggest piece of mystery non-news in current moviedom. Ever since the project decided to go for an all-female main cast, the web has generated more buzz about it than any other reboot – at least outside of the ‘reboots are bad’ complaints. But the debate is easily settled, regardless of gender, comedy calibre or if reboots are the excrement of Satan: Did you like Bridemaids and The Heat? Well, then you might like this. And if you don’t? Then tell Kim Jong-un he’s portrayed as a big, fat Slimer in the reboot.

I’m resigned. I liked The Heat and I generally don’t mind McCarthy, yet she’s not grown on me either. Though I still consider the female cast angle as a shallow ploy by a studio to seem less sexist, this will at least put women characters in interesting situations. Basically, I don’t think there will be a coffee shop scene where a main character moans about their ex-boyfriend and shoes. So for all the studio pretensions, this is an interesting concept.

Yet we are forgetting the most crucial element here: who will be playing Rick Moranis’ character? Will there be a Rick Moranis character? It’s not Ghostbusters without his aura. I’m happy to trade out Sigourney Weaver’s Dana, that dog thing and even Slimer. Yeah, Slimer is exchangable. To me he was always just another ghost (and there were actually several of those green geists – ‘Slimer’ is an awful reminder of the non-Filmation cartoon series). Rather add that thing from the library. But there must be a character equivalent of Moranis’ Louis.

Thus ends my contribution to what may end up being a mountain of speculation, anger, joy and demands. Or as Hollywood might call it: free marketing. This is the next board meeting:

Last Updated: January 28, 2015