In Other News – December 3, 2010

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It’s December, and you know what that means? Yes, well I suppose it does also mean there’s a viable excuse for getting brain-numbingly drunk all the time, but that’s not exactly what I meant. We’ve entered the last month of the year, and it’s apparently the season to be jolly. I’ll put it rather bluntly; I f*cking hate Christmas. Sure, though I’m a faithless heathen I understand the religious significance (or, at least, its intended sentiment), but how much emphasis, really, is placed on that goodwill to all men?

No, anybody who’s had the soul-crushing misfortune of venturing in to any of our fine retail establishments would have likely been bombarded with sparkly, cheap tinfoil crap; polystyrene displays of red-nosed reindeer; porcine, blurry-eyed, red-suited drunkards with sloppily adhered cotton-wool beards; and the cherry on top of this sickening, commercial Noël Sundae – the caustic sonic violation of my entire being, Bony M’s Christmas album on repeat, interspersed occasionally with George Michael’s “Last Christmas.” The next time I’m assaulted with that latrine-bound onanist’s cloyingly sentimental warblings, I may actually give somebody my still-beating heart, just to save me from tears and quite possibly, life imprisonment for manslaughter.

“But hey, there’s gifts and stuff!” I may hear some of the more materialistic among you cry. Sure, everybody loves free stuff, but Christmas gift-giving comes with its own pitfalls.You exchange gifts with people, filled with apprehension that they may have spent more on yours than you have on theirs. “Oh what’s this? You’ve gotten me a gold and diamond encrusted Faberge egg, glazed with angel tears and presented in a box hand-carved from a three-thousand year old redwood?” Errrr. “Well I hope you like that box of Quality Street. The triangular ones in the green foil are quite nice, and those yellow toffee sticks are ok if you suck the chocolate off first and actually like your teeth being glued together, I suppose.” You’ll spend ages working out exactly how much you’ll spend on each person – basically putting a monetary value on your love. The worst? Shopping for your significant other. “Oh, you don’t have to get me anything, love” they’ll often say. Bullsh*t. Just you f*cking try it. Go on, I dare you.

Where’s my Christmas spirit? It’s in a bottle, and it’s called vodka…and it’s the only way I’m going to make it through the month alive.

Here’s the news we didn’t post because I’ve been digging myself a bunker from which I shan’t retreat until December 26th.

This Week On Lazygamer:

Flambairt Friday Debate : Was GT5 Worth the Wait?
Gran Turismo 5 Reviewed
An in depth look into the South African competitive gaming scene
What’s Been Your Biggest Gaming Disappointment?
Super Street Fighter IV Johannesburg Street Elite Tournament – Report and Results
Lap Time Comparison: GT5 vs Forza 3 vs Real Life
Massive 1080p Lazygamer Gran Turismo 5 Photo Mode Gallery – Damage, Detail And More

News:

Twisted Pixel announces “Ms ‘Splosion Man”
THQ’s uDraw Sell-through “Significant”
Ubisoft “vindicated” By Assassin’s Creed Brother Performance
No 3D In LBP2
Xbox 360 Hacker Case Dismissed

Stuff:

New Bravia TV has Built in PS2
L.A Noire Impressions and New Info
Japanese hacker uses Kinect for Predator-styled cloaking
Get episode 1 of Telltale’s “Back to the Future” Free!
EA Explains the Death of NBA Elite 11
Rumour : Xbox Live Platinum?
7 Family members and the RPG stats

Videos:

World of Warcraft Cataclysm World Reborn Trailer
Rock Band Reloaded (iOS)
Mindjack Story Trailer (Japanese)
Back to the Future Trailer

Header model : Random internet bimbo

Last Updated: December 3, 2010

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

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