Home Entertainment Midweek Movie Mouth-Off: what’s your crazy theory about STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS?

Midweek Movie Mouth-Off: what’s your crazy theory about STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS?

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The new Star Wars is almost here (three weeks and counting!) and the tension is almost palpable. And this is one movie that Disney has on super-serious lock-down. No leaks, no spoilers, no titbits of any kind have done the rounds without being pre-approved by the House of Mouse. Not that you can blame them, it would suck if we knew too much beforehand.

All this secrecy has obviously meant that the internet is going bonkers over every scrap of information we can get. Case and point, Hamill’s non-comment that we heard about yesterday still has us going over everything with a fine-toothed comb. We know he’s hiding something, he’s confirmed he’s hiding something, but he won’t say what it is. Argh, infuriating!

So seeing as we are pretty much Jon Snow when it comes to what’s going to happen in The Force Awakens, it’s wide open for debate. Based on the trailers we’ve seen, the interviews that have happened and just general internet chatter, I’m sure you’ve done what I’ve done and formed some conspiracy theories over what’s going to happen. Who’s related to whom, who’s going to get killed (my money’s on Han Solo), who’s going to show up and who will be noticeably absent.

So let’s hear it, what do you think’s going to happen in The Force Awakens?

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.

Last Updated: November 25, 2015

7 Comments

  1. The Sten

    November 25, 2015 at 10:44

    That Jar Jar Binks theory if true will be the greatest thing in cinema if it could be pulled off.

    Reply

    • MalikaiZA

      November 25, 2015 at 16:56

      I truly hope the Jar Jar theory will happen!

      Reply

  2. Kervyn Cloete

    November 26, 2015 at 09:27

    My totally unfounded theories in no order of likelihood of being true:

    – Rey and Kylo Ren are Luke’s kids
    – Chewie is going to die
    – Luke has gone a bit cuckoo and Rey & Finn needs to find them

    Reply

    • Hargrim

      November 26, 2015 at 10:03

      If Chewie dies there will be riots in the streets for weeks. George Lucas will never be safe again.

      Reply

      • Kervyn Cloete

        November 26, 2015 at 10:27

        He died in the Expanded Universe (in an incredibly badass way, by saving Han’s kid and then having a moon fall on him), and there’s a clue in one of the trailers that hints at a similar fate this time around.

        Reply

        • Tracy Benson

          November 26, 2015 at 21:52

          Wait wait wait. Did you just say… a moon falls on him? HOW?!

          Reply

          • Kervyn Cloete

            November 27, 2015 at 12:37

            Yep. The slighter shorter version (may have some inaccuracies since my memory is shot): A lot of the later books in the EU deal with the Yuuzhan Vong, this creepy weird alien race from a different galaxy that invaded the Star Wars galaxy and just about conquered everything in their path. Those planets they couldn’t conquer, they just destroyed. One method of destruction was to destabilize the orbit of a planet’s moon until the moon gets caught in the planet’s gravity well, and is pulled down until it collides with the surface destroying both.

            Before the collision happens though, the increased gravitational stresses causes the planet to go thru violent earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, and crazy hurricanes etc.

            Han, Chewie and Han’s youngest son Anakin are on one such planet trying to rescue survivors, but they stay too long and the planet starts breaking up beneath them.

            As they make it to the Millennium Falcon to leave, Anakin is knocked off the ship’s ramp by some hectic winds. Chewie stops Han from going after him and jumps down himself.

            He finds Anakin, but the planet is breaking up so bad that the Falcon can’t land. So Chewie tosses the little boy into open cargo bay with all his strength, right before a massive gust of wind knocks him too far away for the Falcon to reach. Han is frantic and wants to go back for him, but Jaina, Han’s oldest daughter, realizes it would be death for them and all the survivors aboard the Falcon so she ignores he father’s desperate and angry screams and pilots the ship away.

            The last shot of Chewie sees him managing to climb up out of the debris where he’s fallen only to see he’s landed right into the path of where the moon would hit. So he pulls off the most badass last stand ever and screams his defiance at the moon right as it crashes down right on top of him.

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