Less than two weeks till Christmas! I’ve decided to take on the role of Santa for the local community, giving out presents to all the children. I’m a bit broke at the moment though, so I couldn’t afford the traditional hat. Thankfully, I had some red dye lying around, so I decided to go ahead and change my hair colour as an alternate. Unfortunately, I now look like Ronald Mcdonald. At least kids will still love me, right?
Best Stories
We’ve had a good year for gaming overall methinks. It’s good to be a gamer, and you can see why in just two minutes. Once you’re done there, you can see which of those awesome titles walked away with Oscars Game Awards.
Worst Stories
There are lots of stories to boo at this week. No Kingdom Rush Origins for PC? BOO! The Witcher 3 has been delayed again? BOOO!!! Final Fantasy VII is headed to PlayStation 4 but isn’t a remake? BOOOOOOOOOO!!!
The worst story is easily this one though. Boo x eleventy bajillion!
Random Stories
A new Borderlands is on the cards! What do you mean it’s only available in China? It should at least be called Borderrands to set it apart… wait, nevermind. No name change needed I guess.
Meanwhile, in Tekken 7, a wild cat character has appeared. Man, people really hate her!
Best ION Header
It’s Portuguese, it’s hot… did you think I was really going to pick anything else for best ION header?
Most Comments
Holy crap, 319 comments! Thanks for all the support chums, it really means a lot to us <3
Least Comments
Under normal circumstances, the article with the least comments is usually one that is posted after hours, when you’re all too busy relaxing at home. Not this time though. This story was posted during normal hours, it received a total of zero feedback. Not even a pity comment? Is this karma or something?
Batman Of The Week
No, it’s not me sadly. It never will be! The least I can do is use a cabbage farmer Batman image to announce the winner, and surprise, it’s Geoff once again!
Cabbage Of The Week
Look at Zoe, holding that cabbage proudly! Yes I know it’s not really her, but I’m being all metaphorical and stuff here ok, so deal with it. While handing out this award, Zoe was spouting something about “top secret mission”. Sorry, I can’t hear you over the giant cabbage you’re holding… PLEASE TRY AGAIN NEXT WEEK!
Header Image Of The Week
I love me a good Mexican joke! Geoff had my attention with this header. He had my heart with its alt-text.
Comment Of The Week
Well done Trev, you did it again! Where is Sandy?
Sandy is playing hide-and-go-seek…
Well I guess we’ll never find him…
Bonus Premium Content
HOW IS THIS THING ALLOWED NEAR KIDS? Brb having nightmares forever… thanks Darryn!
Last Updated: December 12, 2014
RinceThis
December 12, 2014 at 12:39
Well done Trev! I know this means more to you than it should but there you go. Great week people! Holiday time in 3 hours!
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:41
Lucky you. Still in the office until the 23rd :'(
RinceThis
December 12, 2014 at 12:42
Eish! 3 weeks off! 🙂
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:43
bastard :'(
Raptor Rants A Lot
December 12, 2014 at 12:47
Dude… STAHP!!!
Alien Emperor Trevor
December 12, 2014 at 12:58
What? He said 3 weeks, not 7. *run*
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:59
I think Rants is upset that Rince gets to SLEEP in that time, whilst he is on baby duty. On the other hand, I guess Rants shoulda worn a condom. So no sympathies from me!
Raptor Rants A Lot
December 12, 2014 at 13:21
yoh
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 13:31
LOOOOL
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:50
NICE
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 13:16
D*ck you to Hek.
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 13:15
D*ck you.
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:41
I swear you would bring world peace if you could send cute kitty and puppy pics to everyone.
hairyknees
December 12, 2014 at 12:43
I AGREE X 15611633!!!!!!
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 12:50
Actually you would incite a completely unprecedented level of violence as the Kitty and Puppy factions fight for dominance while the Snake, Lizard, Bird and Fish factions struggle for survival.
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:53
REALLY???? you just had to do that. I am planning on taking over the world with kitties and puppies, NOW you dash my dreams :'(
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 12:55
It can still work if you choose one.
However, you will still need to sacrifice the portion of the human population who are unable to perceive the cuteness of kitties/puppies.
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:57
So that’s most of Asia and the Middle East gone….
Lord Chaos
December 12, 2014 at 13:25
Not much of a loss. 😛
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 13:27
Said what I was thinking hahahaha
Raptor Rants A Lot
December 12, 2014 at 12:43
Other worst story…
I didn’t win the PS4…
in before anyone else made the joke at me! HAH!!!!
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:46
now that you had to mention it 😉
Guest
December 12, 2014 at 12:47
what is that popular rugby game they play on beaches over December? The Blitsbokke play it as well?
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:48
Ooh oooh oooh
*raises hand frantically*
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:50
yes? for the chance to mercilessly mock Rants a lot, what is the answer?????
Raptor Rants A Lot
December 12, 2014 at 12:51
sevens :'(
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:46
How many days in the week are there?
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:48
I’ll give you a clue. Its between 6 and 8!
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 12:50
7,000000000000000000000000001?
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:47
What is 28 divided by 4?
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 12:47
28/4=7
Half Life 3 confirmed?
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:48
Close, but no
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:48
What is 3 plus 4?
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 12:48
3+4=7
Half Life 3 confirmed?
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:49
How many points do you get when scoring a try, and converting it?
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 12:49
what is that popular rugby game they play on beaches over December? The Blitsbokke play it as well?
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:49
How many curls does Martha’s hair have per strand?
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 12:51
??
Raptor Rants A Lot
December 12, 2014 at 12:51
lol
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:52
LOL, was going for 7, but that is WAY funnier!
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 12:53
I have seen that hair, it may not have ? curls but it is definitely very close.
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:55
Same here man, hence the LOL
hairyknees
December 12, 2014 at 13:24
xD
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:50
Who was 6 afraid of?
ToshZA
December 12, 2014 at 12:57
How many dwarves did Snow White sleep with?
Spaffy
December 12, 2014 at 13:30
Well there goes my childhood…
:-/
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 13:30
I knew it. Snow White was a prozzie!
Raptor Rants A Lot
December 12, 2014 at 12:44
Still super bummed to hear Lagz is up for sale. Won’t be the same 🙁
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:45
Unless I buy it!
Raptor Rants A Lot
December 12, 2014 at 12:46
Oh dear grief… With all the banhammer action??? There wouldn’t be a single reader left!
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:47
Well I already have that power, and I only apply the hammer of ban to the spambots and the vile
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 12:52
Is that why we hardly see the fruits here anymore?
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:53
😉
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:53
THAT IS ME HARD AT WORK
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:45
DAT CABBAGE SMILE….yoh yoh yoh
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 12:46
Oh snap, I forgot a mandatory staff support comment!
RinceThis
December 12, 2014 at 12:48
Me too! 0_O Or DID we? http://heavyeditorial.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/1311875540_delta_force_chuck_norris__deal_with_it.gif?
oVg elfroot slayer
December 12, 2014 at 12:52
bwahahaha
Kensei Seraph
December 12, 2014 at 12:47
It finally happened.
My Flash Player has gotten so out of date that Firefox is blocking it for security reason.
Maybe this will be the push I need to finally update it.
Lord Chaos
December 12, 2014 at 13:27
Nah… You can keep going another 6 months.
Or is it 7 in Llew’s case?
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 13:31
7, always 7
Spaffy
December 12, 2014 at 13:32
hahaha, same thing here. Happened today 🙂
oVg elfroot slayer
December 12, 2014 at 12:51
RinceThis
December 12, 2014 at 12:54
Get the fuck out!
Tiaan Pat
December 12, 2014 at 14:44
Think I am scared for life….
CAE9872
December 12, 2014 at 12:53
Nice one Alien…Man….Thing…
Alien Emperor Trevor
December 12, 2014 at 12:56
…
Raptor Rants A Lot
December 12, 2014 at 13:05
DOOM DOOM DOOOM DOOOOOOM
Quo Vadis?
December 12, 2014 at 13:08
think I just found my avatar 😉
ToshZA
December 12, 2014 at 13:13
Good choice I’d say 😀
Spaffy
December 12, 2014 at 13:33
Nice 😀
Admiral Chief BellatorMachina
December 12, 2014 at 13:32
Magnificent