The 94.7 Cycle Challenge is finally here! I’m doing it for charity and I’m really looking forward to it. I did the race for the first time last year, clocking it in around 5h30m. People keep asking me if I’m aiming for sub 5 this time around… the answer is a simple no. I’m perfectly happy just surviving and finishing the damn thing! If you don’t see me on Monday, tell my imaginary girlfriend I always loved her the most <3
Best Stories
Blizzcon took place last weekend. The new StarCraft II expansion, Legacy of the Void, has finally been unveiled… HOORAY! They also announced a completely new IP, which I hope turns out to be really awesome. In other announcements, Just Cause 3 is official, causing Darryn to mouth off in a headline. What a potty mouth! GTA and work ethic be damned, let’s go cause some F***ing chaos via parachute and grapple!
If it’s one thing I knew way before my time as an intern, it’s that everybody at Lazygamer has the biggest love for Kingdom Rush. When everybody found out there was a new game on the way, work promptly stopped so gratuitous, thankful backflips could take place.
Worst Stories
Come on CoD, all people want to do is have a lag-free experience. The last thing the game needs is a silly exploit which ruins the match for those who AREN’T behind an impenetrable glass wall. Are you excited for Bloodborne? It’s coming soon… actually, no it isn’t. It’s all YOUR fault that it has been delayed by a month. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!
There’s also this Jim Sterling story which is just WTF. You can read it right here.
Random Stories
I don’t care what you all say, the fact that there is a new Tony Hawk game in the works makes me feel like I am back in 1999. Grinding, face planting, MORE GRINDING… my body is ready!
This Halo plasma rifle is real up to the point where you learn it doesn’t actually fire. I am so sad, I know a good few people I could’ve used it on. Still, if you have some extra cash lying around, this memorabilia is super sexy.
Assassins Creed Unity looks good dunnit? Just check out these rad glitches! Wait a second…
Best ION Header
You won’t believe how much flak I get for always choosing food as the ION Header of the week. I really don’t think any of you will disagree with this though. Let’s be honest, Bacon > EVERYTHING!
Most Comments
Gavin sat us down with cups of hot cocoa and shared the history of Lazygamer. This resulted in, at time of writing, 320 comments! Damn people, why do you love us so? Oh who cares, GROUP HUG!
Least Comments
I am super excited for Telltale’s Game of Thrones game. Apparently nobody else is, which is why I have a measly 3 comments on this article. Come on people, at least click and comment on your appreciation for the Joffrey slap-looping video!
Batman Of The Week
It was neck and neck this week, fo rizzles! After many hours of dance-offs, juggling, and yodelling, we determined that Geoff is Batman… what a free-styling king!
Cabbage Of The Week
It was so nice being off cabbage duty. It gave me time to contemplate life, gaming, vegetables, women, Geoff’s desire to destroy my existence, and insane 36-month long gym contracts. I’m back though, ready to manage that patch!
Header Image Of The Week
Geoff’s Photoshop tomfoolery had me giggling and feeling violated at the same time. Why does CoD man have his mouth so wide open? EWWWWW! It made me think of this…
Comments Of The Week
There were so many good comments this week, so many of them! This one made me laugh the hardest though. Zoe told us about her qualifications in the comment section, which gave Mark Vincer the perfect opportunity to throw this beauty…
Where did you study PhotoShop?
Geoff’s comment on his long lost moustache also made me giggle…
I shaved it off, and it took a sentience of its own. It’s now called Matthew.
I had no idea. MY LIFE IS A LIE!
Bonus Premium Content
Hey, are you a regular reader? Are you here for the first time? It doesn’t matter who you are, we have all sorts of bonus content to make you question your very sanity! I don’t know where the hell Darryn scrounged up this video…
Seeing as I am doing the 94.7 Cycle Challenge on Sunday, I ordered myself several cases of POWERTHIRST. I will be done in 10 minutes.
Last Updated: November 14, 2014
Admiral Chief Wang
November 14, 2014 at 12:34
I’m sure if you shaved the afro, your aerodynamics factor would increase by a factor of 25
Norm (@e3zype3zy)
November 14, 2014 at 12:36
Shaved head:
Increases sprint speed by 2% & duration by 0.04%.
HairyEwok
November 14, 2014 at 12:40
Thats way to OP nerf nerf nerf the sh!t out of it.
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 14, 2014 at 12:47
He’d be able to play DOTA better because his head wouldn’t overheat.
ToshZA
November 14, 2014 at 12:47
LOL!!!!!!!!
Admiral Chief Wang
November 14, 2014 at 12:51
A very valid point!
Plus, should he wear headphones, the lack of hair-rustling sounds will improve his performance ingame?
ToshZA
November 14, 2014 at 12:53
That’s because he’ll be able to hear people say “Missing mid, watch for gank top.” And then he wouldn’t feed.
hairyknees
November 14, 2014 at 13:04
XD
CAE9872
November 14, 2014 at 12:48
aero +5
attract -6 (don’t the ladies dig afros?)
HvR
November 14, 2014 at 13:16
But then he will miss out on a whole new career opportunity.
Hammersteyn
November 14, 2014 at 12:44
Geoff is Batman
http://img-9gag-ftw.9cache.com/photo/anXRYdV_460sa_v1.gif
ToshZA
November 14, 2014 at 12:47
I can picture him doing that to those of us who tease him about his ability (or lack thereof) in basic math.
Hammersteyn
November 14, 2014 at 12:45
Nice one Mark, almost missed it between all the madness
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 14, 2014 at 12:46
He was on fire on that article.
Mark Vincer
November 21, 2014 at 13:15
I’ll assume you both mean me. The weird thing is, I come here and read reviews on games for consoles I don’t have. I have a Wii (original not Wii U) which does not get played as much as it should. I’m basically just playing old emulator games until I can convince my boss (read: wife) that I need a Wii U.
Hammersteyn
November 14, 2014 at 12:47
First Mr Pickles now King Star. Darryn goes to dark places.
*Buys a ticket to PE
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 14, 2014 at 12:48
I appreciated your Joffrey slap video… sort of. And why is Geoffs Batman background yellow? That’s lacist.
ToshZA
November 14, 2014 at 12:49
You’re just colourblind.
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 14, 2014 at 12:50
Like that has anything to do with it. Um…
ToshZA
November 14, 2014 at 12:51
Yeah. My advice?
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs6/i/2005/077/c/4/End_Racism_by_skinniouschinnious.jpg
RinceThis
November 14, 2014 at 12:51
Great week people! Really! If it wasn’t for LG I would have already completed the projects I have to complete before the end of the year… CRAP…
ToshZA
November 14, 2014 at 12:52
Lol! Yeah today you lot have kept me sane while I wait for people to give me the stuff I need to carry on with my work.
Sanity isn’t overrated, and while you lot don’t have much, you’ve helped me keep mine. You rock.
RinceThis
November 14, 2014 at 12:54
Me too! Waiting for content from people for a year end report. Even my managers need to give but haven’t got it. So I am avoided like an ebola patient…
Captain JJ the valiant
November 14, 2014 at 12:55
And for once you know why people avoid you. 😉
ToshZA
November 14, 2014 at 12:56
And on record: it’s not because he’s a ginger. Who’d have thunk?
Captain JJ the valiant
November 14, 2014 at 12:57
O_O
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 14, 2014 at 12:57
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
RinceThis
November 14, 2014 at 13:00
You shut your double black-eyed pie hole!
Spaffy
November 14, 2014 at 13:01
If he looked in the mirror he’d know instantly
Captain JJ the valiant
November 14, 2014 at 12:56
I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even close my browser anymore. It’s open on Lagz on my one screen while I work on the other
Hammersteyn
November 14, 2014 at 13:00
ditto
RinceThis
November 14, 2014 at 12:52
Martha, I told you, use your ‘hair’ as a sail, you’ll come first, which I hear is a regular thing with you 0_O…
Captain JJ the valiant
November 14, 2014 at 12:52
Brings a whole new meaning to Black Sails.
Norm (@e3zype3zy)
November 14, 2014 at 12:53
eYOH!
Ryanza
November 14, 2014 at 12:53
comment of the week – waitstation and updatebox
Skyblue
November 14, 2014 at 13:52
Hehe, my 10yr old says thx!
Ryanza
November 14, 2014 at 16:24
People have been saying that your comment was comment of the week and then Lazygamer goes and makes it all about themselves.
Always fight the system.
Skyblue
November 14, 2014 at 17:03
Hehe, no worries bud. Was my son’s comment and it was very true so I thought I’d share.
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 14, 2014 at 12:59
Surprised Matty hasn’t posted this for Tasty Tuesday…
hairyknees
November 14, 2014 at 13:30
😀
Rags
November 14, 2014 at 13:08
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 14, 2014 at 13:08
I’ve noticed Raru are selling Interster for R96. I’m seriously tempted.
Captain JJ the valiant
November 14, 2014 at 13:10
I know some of those words
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 14, 2014 at 13:11
I’m hoping I’m not the only one who knows what that is.
Spaffy
November 14, 2014 at 13:16
n Afrikaanse Thunderbirds
Captain JJ the valiant
November 14, 2014 at 13:25
OH! Interster! I was reading that in English and I could not figure it out.
I still want to find those Afrikaans translated tweety and such cartoons. Those were really funny.
Spaffy
November 14, 2014 at 13:30
Toe ons nog klein kinders was. Op TV1
Captain JJ the valiant
November 14, 2014 at 13:39
Ja-nee
Mark Vincer
November 21, 2014 at 13:09
Wait…what? I missed this article! I WIN! I shall be around to collect my prize shortly. Don’t worry if you’re not in the office, I can come in after hours, just leave the bathroom window open for me. The prize is whatever I want from your office, right?