Once upon a time, a vegetable started interning at Lazygamer. “Let the cabbage do the round up,” they said. “He’ll hate it,” they said. “HA!” said the brave cabbage, as he rounded up the news and accompanied it with the cutest kitty pictures the Internet has to offer. THE END! Man I’m great at story telling, I bet none of you have any idea who the murderer is! Is it Geoff, the sneaky Asian who gives out graphics cards without the necessary adaptors? Darryn, the caped crusader whose weakness is large mobs demanding selfies? Zoe, the innocent lass who secretly starves her kittens? Or is it Sandy, that spy who has not updated his Steam profile? LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS BELOW!
I have many fond memories (and even emptier pockets) thanks to the awesome arcade game, Time Crisis. The series ain’t dead, it’s coming back for some pew pew action! Now if only I could find a nearby arcade like the good ol’ days.
Energy are on their way to Paris for the ESWC. ASUS came on board to help them on their journey. Remember, the Porra team will pose no threat whatsoever!
Are you excited for Sunset Overdrive? Our very own Darryn and Sandy had an intellectual discussion about it for your viewing pleasure. I could almost hear the monocle wearing and tea drinking in their voices.
There was a lot of Valve news this week. Nothing was worse than this one though, where a developer threatened the big man himself, resulting in his game being pulled from Steam. Silly, silly guy. LEAVE GABEN ALONE!
What’s worse than a cancelled Star Wars game? One that was supposedly 99% finished and only then cancelled. At least we can still see some footage, imagining what could have been.
Games are so unimaginative these days. Know what the industry needs? A tale of a slice of bread and its journey to get toasted!
Know what will get Valve to make Half-Life 3 faster? Borderline harassment, duh! Round up all them Gabe lookalikes, they have work to do at Valve HQ!
Best ION Header
Like there was even any contest this week. Portuguese chicken? That gets my vote over 9000 times. Maria! Hand me that peri-peri sauce!
Why do so many people want new IP’s to fail? I don’t know, but apparently there were 195 things to say on the matter.
Poor Darryn. He wrote up a neat piece on the concept art of Bayonetta 2, only to have one comment slapped onto it. There there, it happens to the best of us!
Batman Of The Week
It was close again this week, but there can only be one real Batman, one true dark knight who brings you even darker news. That cape goes to Zoe this week!
Cabbage Of The Week
I had to wait till the last second for this one, because both myself and the other porra were neck and neck! The results are in aaaaand… I am still cabbage this week. DAMMIT SANDY! Note: that is not me in the picture, it is a cleverly shopped cabbage.
Header Image Of The Week
Darth Vader, the early days. He rested his lightsaber to join the army and… wait, when the heck did that happen?
Comment Of The Week
I’ll just leave this here, compliments of Umar…
“LazyGamer has just disgusted me in a way I never thought possible”
Clearly you’ve never seen 2 girls 1 cup.
Bonus Premium Content
It must be tough being a dad. Not only do you need a shotgun, you also need to be incredibly brave. Can you feel the pain in this video?
Last Updated: October 24, 2014