What a tough week. I had to get up early like, 3 times. What an absolute pain! If only we had enough public holidays to fill out an entire 5-day week… I think the world would be a much better place if that were the case. Lazier, yes, but much nicer overall. Also, there would be more time for gaming. If that doesn’t guarantee world peace, then I don’t know what will!
Bah, forget world peace, let’s talk about what happened this week! Here are the top picks from… er… the last two days worth of news.
Best Stories
If none of you saw this coming, I’d recommend a refresher course in cabbage crystal ball gazing. My top story this week is of course, the revealed patch 6.84 details for Dota 2. NEW META! NEW STUFF! NEW EVERYTHING!
Top stories were actually slim this week. Not this one though, it dialled in at OVER 9000!!! There was a collective Internet KAAAAMEEEEHAAAAAMMEEEEHAAAA of joy when the news of a brand new Dragon Ball anime series dropped.
Worst Stories
Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, you [REDACTED]. Seriously, is there any other way to describe this [REDACTED] idiot? I think not.
In other horrifying news, the new Silent Hills is coming along nicely. We can expect it to land… wait… what do you mean it was canned? WHAT? DON’T TAKE LISA AWAY FROM ME! SHE WAS THE ONLY SCARY FRIEND I HAD AFTER DARRYN! Seriously though, that P.T demo was something special. Even as a non horror-gamer, I am sorely disappointed to see this game get killed off. Damn you Konami, damn you…
Random Stories
Oh Valve, they can never make up their minds. First they’re all like, “LOL pay for mods boet,” and then they’re like, “OMG soz we didn’t mean to mess with your Skyrim!”. Now there’s some hardcore debating taking place. Good luck Valve. One does not simply anger the Internet and resolve it. Ever.
Best ION Header
The debate for best ION header of the week was a toughie. Do we choose food, or do we choose a leather LG phone? The solution was easy; which one would be tastier?
Most Comments
A new year, a new Call of Duty. A new Call of Duty, a new article with millions of comments. Dammit Black Ops 3, you’re so far from release and you already have people dropping 116 comments all over you!
I really thought that article was the top contender, until Zoe pointed out that her piece on White men dominating the South African gaming industry has 278 comments. Damn, that must be some kind of record O_O
Least Comments
New Batman Arkham trailer? YAWN! A video preview on Witcher 3? ZZZZ! Final Fantasy XV demo is getting an update? Just hand me the tent already! All of these articles amassed a whopping 4 comments each. Such comment, very discuss. WOW!
Batman of the Week
At time of writing, Zoe is Batgirl. Will she keep that position though? Can she batarang the rest of us down until this article goes live? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH!
Yes, yes she can. She ain’t no holla Batgirl!
Cabbage of the Week
Hooboy, what a week. Alessandro and I have been neck and neck, fighting to stay clear of that bottom spot, at least until Geoff arrived. Oh man oh man if Geoff grabs cabbage this week I’ll hold it over him for… at least five minutes!
Dammit, Geoff isn’t cabbage. Poor Alessandro is though, in his second week running!
Header of the Week
I’ll just leave this here. Well played Geoff, well played!
Comment of the Week
Spathi wins a bazillion points for his amazeballs comment on the ESPN radio jock mocking eSport article:
Looks like the name Colin is reserved for people who don’t understand e-sports.
SNORT!
Bonus Content
I’ll never get over Who Killed Captain Alex. I laugh myself to tears every single time! Here’s the trailer for the movie:
Darryn is a genius I tell you. Baker Street on top of this Halo trailer? IT WORKS TOO DAMN WELL!
Last Updated: April 30, 2015
Admiral Chief
April 30, 2015 at 12:32
Why does it take so long for you to adopt a cat?
hairyknees
April 30, 2015 at 12:37
I had to wait for her to get older 😛 photos are deceiving, she is TINY. Can hold her in one hand 🙂
Admiral Chief
April 30, 2015 at 12:48
[tries to not make one hand jokes]
Dutch Matrix
April 30, 2015 at 12:58
But that’s what she said!
Blood Emperor Trevor
April 30, 2015 at 12:55
What’s her name? If it’s DOTA-related you’ll be judged more harshly than otherwise. 😉
Pariah
April 30, 2015 at 12:56
Don’t lie. We all judge him the same.
Blood Emperor Trevor
April 30, 2015 at 12:56
That’s what I said ;P
hairyknees
April 30, 2015 at 13:57
No name yet 🙂 waiting on my sister to pick!
If it were up to me, I’d call her Luna 😛 which coincidentally is the name of a Dota 2 hero XD
Grimthwacker
April 30, 2015 at 13:11
Let me take a wild guess… the header image taken in the erm….. bathroom?
Edit: I mean that’s not a washbasin, is it? o_O
Blood Emperor Trevor
April 30, 2015 at 13:15
Poor kitty, her life’s already going down the drain.
hairyknees
April 30, 2015 at 13:57
Bathroom yes 😛
Grimthwacker
April 30, 2015 at 14:19
😀
Kensei Seraph
April 30, 2015 at 14:16
Either you have big hands or a small basin.
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 12:37
Gotta make sure you pick the right pussy…
Admiral Chief
April 30, 2015 at 12:33
Finally Matty has some p*$$& in his life!
ReaperOfSquirrels
April 30, 2015 at 12:36
Zoe’s Batwoman again!? Matt graduated and got a degree!? Geoff was almost the cabbage!?
What’s up with this week!?
Blood Emperor Trevor
April 30, 2015 at 12:37
I call shenanigans. Best articles are DOTA & DBZ? Subtlety would go a long way, cabbage!
Umar
April 30, 2015 at 12:38
‘Cause I ain’t no holla Batgirl…XD
Am I the only one that sang that when I saw the pic?
Blood Emperor Trevor
April 30, 2015 at 12:38
Yes!… no… maybe.
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 12:38
No XD
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 12:38
Well done Zoe and Spathi!
http://cdn2.funscrape.com/Images/7/7965794738110559.jpg
Admiral Chief
April 30, 2015 at 12:49
So much for sleeping for the foreseeable future.
Now, where did I put the eye/brain bleach…
Rock789
April 30, 2015 at 13:10
o_O
Skoobaz
April 30, 2015 at 12:41
Spathi!!! That was a gem
Her Highness the Hipster
April 30, 2015 at 12:43
matty overlooked all the comments on my article?? is he afraid of acknowledging me because he’s a white male?? oh wait, he was trying to give the award to Geoff. so, um, sexism? i dunno…
Blood Emperor Trevor
April 30, 2015 at 12:53
It can’t be sexist because Geoff’s Asian. That’s how it works, right?
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 12:54
Matty’s a cabbage not a male
Pariah
April 30, 2015 at 12:54
So he’s speciest then?
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 12:55
Exactly
Pariah
April 30, 2015 at 12:55
That’s fine. Nobody rages about speciesm on the internet. Carry on then Cabbage.
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 12:56
How sad would it be for people to pick on a cabbage
Pariah
April 30, 2015 at 12:57
They’d have to be pretty sauerkraut.
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 12:58
Bwahahaha
Blood Emperor Trevor
April 30, 2015 at 12:57
I thought cabbages were picked? O_o
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 12:58
Picked up not on
Blood Emperor Trevor
April 30, 2015 at 13:02
So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years. I need to start playing DOTA.
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 13:34
hahaha
Blood Emperor Trevor
April 30, 2015 at 12:54
There’s this for those wanting a PS4:
http://raru.co.za/video-games/news/831-grab-a-sony-playstation-4-console-500gb-r5-299-1-3-may-only
Hammersteyn
April 30, 2015 at 12:55
I saw the add on the side here today. But it redirects to AWX.
Ranting Raptor
April 30, 2015 at 13:21
another week another no winning comment of the week
Lardus-Resident Perve
April 30, 2015 at 13:22
Sigh, last day of getting up “early” for work in a while. Just a couple more hours! PS – I think the phone would have been tastier 🙂
Brady miaau
April 30, 2015 at 13:50
Is it weird that all I can take from this is good luck with the new cat?
Spathi
April 30, 2015 at 13:51
I’m a winner! Take that world!!
One less goal on my bucket list 😉