Home Entertainment Win a The Hitman’s Bodyguard hamper!

Win a The Hitman’s Bodyguard hamper!

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You know what I like? I like funny movies. I like Samuel l. Jackson and I think Ryan Reynolds is awesome. Put them into a “buddy cop” type movie where every second word is “motherf**ker” and I am sold! I am of course talking about the soon-to-be-released The Hitman’s Bodyguard. Have a watch of the red-band trailer if you haven’t seen it before, it looks like a blast!

The world’s top protection agent is called upon to guard the life of his mortal enemy, one of the world’s most notorious hit men. The relentless bodyguard and manipulative assassin have been on the opposite end of the bullet for years and are thrown together for a wildly outrageous 24 hours. During their journey from England to the Hague, they encounter high-speed car chases, outlandish boat escapades and a merciless Eastern European dictator who is out for blood.

Ahead of its opening at local cinemas this Friday we are giving away five hampers to help you trim that beard and open beers. Which is apparently something all hitmen or bodyguards need to do regularly (need to always be groomed and keep hydrated!).

Luckily, we’re not asking you to protect or kill anybody to get your hands on this branded merchandise. All you have to do to enter the competition is leave an answer to this question in the comments section below:

If you could choose any famous person to be your bodyguard, who would it be and why?

Extra points for making it funny! We’ll throw your names into Random.org’s perpetually hungry mouth and contact you directly. We’ll draw the winner this Friday, 18 August 2017. Good luck!

Please note: Only one entry per person will be considered eligible. This competition is open to South African residents only. 

Last Updated: August 15, 2017

55 Comments

  1. Gary Oldman. Purely because he is a mastar of disguise and if he had to be somebody like Deadpool, he would be able to kick ass too and not only look the part.

    Reply

  2. TheBurg

    August 15, 2017 at 13:44

    Zuma….nobody can get rid of him

    Reply

    • HvR

      August 15, 2017 at 14:18

      He is bulletproof, especially with that built in kevlar helmet

      Reply

  3. Syph1n

    August 15, 2017 at 13:45

    Donald trump, because hed build a wall around me.

    Reply

  4. David Scott Duncan

    August 15, 2017 at 13:50

    Pauly Shore. He’d suck at protecting me but would at least give me time to run away while he’s beat on instead

    Reply

  5. Alien Emperor Trevor

    August 15, 2017 at 13:51

    He jokes, but we all know Nick is hampered by his grooming.

    Reply

    • RinceThis

      August 15, 2017 at 13:52

      You leave my upbringing out of this!

      Reply

  6. Ottokie

    August 15, 2017 at 13:57

    Sean Bean. I want to see if the rumors are true.

    Reply

  7. Ir0nseraph

    August 15, 2017 at 14:05

    Vladimir Putin. No one ***** with Russia.
    And the guy pretty much gets whatever he wants, doubt I will have to wait in any queues again.

    Reply

    • Original Heretic

      August 15, 2017 at 14:06

      In my mind, I’m calling you bad names.
      because you stole my bodyguard.

      Reply

      • Ir0nseraph

        August 15, 2017 at 14:07

        XD

        Reply

        • Original Heretic

          August 15, 2017 at 14:12

          He is pretty damn hardcore, ain’t he?
          Been watching those Putin Interviews, still got number 4 to get through. But damn, I wish he was leader of the whole world!

          Reply

          • Ir0nseraph

            August 15, 2017 at 14:20

            Not so sure that would be the best thing ever, but it will be different.

          • Original Heretic

            August 15, 2017 at 14:27

            I cannot think of a better world leader right now.
            Though, that being said, the choices out there aren’t exactly amazing.

    • HvR

      August 16, 2017 at 17:01

      Also Putin is Funky AF

      Reply

  8. Original Heretic

    August 15, 2017 at 14:07

    Karl Urban.
    No matter I do, I’ll always have the law on my side.

    Reply

  9. Viper_ZA

    August 15, 2017 at 14:09

    Chuck Norris, enough said, he eats bullets for breakfast doesn’t he 5.56 / 7.62, choose your flavor?

    Reply

    • HvR

      August 15, 2017 at 14:10

      o snap

      Reply

      • Viper_ZA

        August 15, 2017 at 14:11

        hehe 🙂

        Reply

  10. HvR

    August 15, 2017 at 14:09

    I will have to for settle Chuck Norris because Ironseph already booked Putin.

    Reply

    • HvR

      August 15, 2017 at 14:15

      Or this internet famous SJW. Her banshee screech will keep all those evil cisgendered male assassins at bay

      Reply

  11. Alien Emperor Trevor

    August 15, 2017 at 14:13

    I was going enter, which I’m not, I’d choose Alessandro. I’d call him Betty, and he could call me Al.

    Reply

    • Original Heretic

      August 15, 2017 at 14:14

      You just made me hear trumpets.

      Reply

  12. Chris Muller

    August 15, 2017 at 14:18

    I would pick Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Think he’ll sort out any potential threat and he seems like a cool guy to have around as a bro

    Reply

  13. Viper_ZA

    August 15, 2017 at 14:18

  14. Ottokie

    August 15, 2017 at 14:20

    Any marvel movie character, since they cant die.

    Reply

    • Original Heretic

      August 15, 2017 at 14:22

      Uncle Ben is going to be your bodyguard then.

      Reply

      • Ottokie

        August 15, 2017 at 14:31

        Uncle Ben has died like 4 times now… He keeps coming back xD

        Reply

        • Original Heretic

          August 15, 2017 at 14:34

          In a different form.
          Wait…I’ve just solved the greatest Marvel mystery of all time.
          Uncle Ben is… A TIME LORD!

          Reply

          • Ottokie

            August 15, 2017 at 14:35

            xD

  15. For the Emperor!

    August 15, 2017 at 14:32

    John Cena. Why? First, the snot-klap would be a surprise because you won’t see it coming. Second, he can double as a personal trainer, and I seriously need myself some of that!

    Reply

  16. Trevor James

    August 15, 2017 at 14:45

    Sir David Attenborough – Do I even need a reason?

    Reply

    • HvR

      August 16, 2017 at 17:03

      That is a terrible choice.

      He will just let you die while narrating your death and put it in the next BBC documentary.

      Reply

  17. Magoo

    August 15, 2017 at 14:51

    I’d have to go with Gaben. As soon as he realizes he can’t protect me and I have to be the one defending him, I will be entitled to a … reward … or 3…

    And that’s how I shall become the Prince of all gaming-kind.

    Reply

    • Kromas Ryder

      August 15, 2017 at 15:45

      Actually he will save you twice then you would die.

      Reply

  18. D4RKL1NG

    August 15, 2017 at 15:00

  19. Wayne Bossenger

    August 15, 2017 at 15:03

    Kevin Costner, the original bodyguard

    Reply

  20. Mr. Sexycalifragilistic

    August 15, 2017 at 15:15

    Godzilla.

    Because, the notion is funny in itse — f*ck it, take me, Random dot org. Ravish my hot, rockin’, bearded bod.

    Reply

  21. xdvd

    August 15, 2017 at 15:43

    Jacob Zuma. Not only is he the original Teflon man, employing him as my bodyguard means that I won’t have to worry about anything as Zuma can just get the Guptas to pay off or bribe any potential threats to me. Besides, nothing will be able to get to me in the fort known as Nkandla.

    Reply

  22. Kromas Ryder

    August 15, 2017 at 15:44

    Bruce Willis. He has never let me down!

    Reply

  23. Fox1 - Retro

    August 15, 2017 at 16:34

    Don Mattrick coz we know that dude is cloud powa!

    Reply

  24. Andre116

    August 15, 2017 at 16:44

    Donald Trump. Screw that guy. He can take a bullet for me anytime.

    Reply

  25. Aries

    August 15, 2017 at 18:03

    Keenu, well you know someone getting F****d up real good if they try something

    Reply

  26. Ilden Webber

    August 15, 2017 at 18:09

    John Wick. If he’s the one you send to kill the boogeyman, he will do the best job to protect me.

    Reply

  27. Raidz19

    August 15, 2017 at 18:50

    Dwayne Johnson! Because nobody would mess with those muscles! Plus…you know…eye candy for me (☆☆,)

    Reply

  28. PoisonedBelial

    August 15, 2017 at 19:24

    Whitney Houston.
    Only because she has amazing… *ahem*
    “Hand eeeeeeeyeeeeeeee” cordination. (Which would be good in a fight)

    (•_•)
    ( •_•)>⌐■-■
    (⌐■_■)

    I can’t apologise for that… XD

    Reply

  29. Sameer

    August 15, 2017 at 21:18

    i have to say the Rock. no one would mess with that guy. unless ur Vin Diesel

    Reply

  30. Dresden

    August 16, 2017 at 04:51

    Have no witty reply so I’ll just leave this here as my answer…
    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/275/731/4cb.png

    Reply

  31. Aveshin Naidoo

    August 16, 2017 at 08:07

    The Rock (0_0 )

    Reply

  32. Admiral Chief

    August 16, 2017 at 08:50

    Terry Crews, because he got the PPPPPPOWA!
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/aeZC1BrIunA/hqdefault.jpg

    Reply

  33. Cat

    August 16, 2017 at 10:17

    I would get Bruce Lee to be my bodyguard, nobody messed with him. He even beat up Chuck Norris!!!

    Reply

  34. Sageville

    August 16, 2017 at 13:03

    King Joffrey Baratheon…

    Primarily just to be close enough to give him a stiff parental klap upside his head.

    Reply

  35. Samantha Dyer

    August 16, 2017 at 15:51

    Donald Trump, because you know if he’s standing next to you the shots are all going his way.

    Reply

  36. Scienide

    August 16, 2017 at 19:14

  37. WhiteRock

    August 17, 2017 at 14:35

    Brick Tamland, definitely Brick Tamland – man has the habit of pulling out some killer weapons and has no qualm when it comes to killing someone.

    Reply

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