A new one-eyed snake Pokemon is being teased

Here at Lazygamer, we pride ourselves on providing the latest news with scathing commentary that pokes fun at everybody. We also pride ourselves on being brilliant liars, and quickly tossing sophisticated comedy for dick and fart jokes when given the chance.

And then you get stories which you simply cannot stop making juvenile penile references to, such as this quick flash of a new Pokémon, screen-captured by Serebii:

This little pocket monster was teased in a trailer for yet another animated Pokémon movie. It’s a green, limbless little fella with a big head. Nurse Joy should take a look at it, because green can’t be healthy, even if it is fully erect and ready to battle.

There are no other details around for this new entry into the pokedex, so I’m just going to make some facts and trivia up and hope nobody catches me manufacturing the news in the process. New facts about the new Pokemon include:

• It may be a Rock-type Pokemon based on its hardness
• It has a Rash nature and maybe Professor Oak can prescribe a topical cream for that
• Names tossed around by Game Freak include Pork-Sword, Tinkletail, Winknozzle and [INSERT POLITICIAN NAME HERE]
• For the love of Arceus, don’t let it use Hydro-Pump on you. That isn’t water
• It can mega-evolve into a hardier form, but it needs a rest afterwards for at least an hour

This wouldn’t be the first time that a Pokémon has popped up in film first, before hitting one of the core games in the series.

Munchlax and Victini had their own movie debuts before popping up in the games, while Pokémon such as Volcanion have yet to be officially unveiled even though it happens to have been lurking inside of Pokemon X and Y since 2013.

Last Updated: August 3, 2015