Behold, the latest trailer for Mafia III

They came into my office (technically a lawn chair perched inside a storm drain where the wifi signal was better), dressed in fine suits and chewing on a match. I could tell that YouTube’s new trailer division meant business, right away. “Ello ther guv,” Vinnie1978XXX said in a suspicious cockney accent. “This is a nice website you got here. Real nice. It’d be a shame if someone were to…set fire to it”.

It was at this point that his stocky comrade proceeded to knock the gigantic purple dildo from Saints Row 3 that I had stolen from THQ when the crap hit the fan back in 2013. “Oops,” Luigi-Senpai Baka muttered while the novelty sex toy flopped around on the floor, bouncing around until it smashed a nearby into ribbons.

“Look, what do you guys want from me?” I asked, while I fed off the Complainamania nourishment I received every time I did a results post for WWE RAW or Smackdown. “What we want, is for you to post that new Mafia III trailer Darryn. Or you don’t have to. I just hear that that Xur fella you’re so fond of is pretty flammable these days,” VinnieOriginalIrisWestFanChan added while simultaneously posting new comments in a thread dedicated to season 3 musings for The Flash.

“Alright, fine. I’ll post your trailer,” I said, giving in and realising that on the day of my favourite Barbie’s wedding, I couldn’t refuse these guys. That, and I was worried about the fact that Luigi-W4rfr4m3 was prepping some Concrete All Stars for me to wear. Here’s the trailer via VG247:

In case you’ve missed the rest of them or you really don’t have anything better to do today, here’s a list of every other Mafia III that has gone out so far. And I’m not doing this because somebody threatened to make my season pass content for Hitman disappear. Mafia III is out…soon? October 7 I think on your current-gen console of choice.

Now somebody get these terrible gangsters out of my office before they try to make a point by knocking over my prized collection of David Carradine action figures off of my shelf.

Last Updated: August 19, 2016