Home Gaming FFD: Geoff isn’t here, what the frak do we do now?

FFD: Geoff isn’t here, what the frak do we do now?

1 min read
259

FFD-Panic

It’s an odd morning here at the top secret Lazygamer headquarters, which is situated on Villiers Road just pass the Walmer Park shopping center in Port Elizabeth. Our favourite wobbly onion, isn’t here for the day. Geoff has left the office to do other things, leaving yours truly in charge.

Naturally, we’re completely f***ed without his guidance.

The chaos started around seven minutes after he left. Matty’s afro finally achieved sentience, and is now plotting to kidnap the queen of England.

Gavin is busy hunting us all with NERF guns, muttering something about man being the deadliest game and the last we saw Sandy was when we sent him to rewire the cables behind our gaming TV. I’m 100% certain a lost tribe of Interns has captured him.

As for Zoe, she’s battling the deadliest of Final Fantasy bosses, Es-Kom. Which as you might now, is a level 999 Private Entity that can knock 9999 HP off a single character whenever it casts load-shedding.

Me? I’m still busy trying to figure out if cousin Roman wants to go bowling, but he may be blocking all my calls. So guys, what the hell do we do today? I men, I knd of lik havng sumbody to chek my speling,

Our captain is gone, our staff is more disorganised than the Korsten traffic department and I’m pretty certain that Gavin is busy putting actual darts into his NERF rifle. Without Geoff, we’re pretty much boned.

beaker_muppets_panic_freak_out

So what do we do? The time for choosing, is now!

Last Updated: July 10, 2015

259 Comments

  1. “the top secret Lazygamer headquarters, which is situated on Villiers
    Road just pass the Walmer Park shopping center in Port Elizabeth”
    someone just watched the latest top gear episode.

    Reply

    • The D

      July 10, 2015 at 10:35

      It was actually a reference to X-Fools 😀

      Reply

  2. Admiral Chief's Adventure

    July 10, 2015 at 10:36

    This article is possibly the best thing you have ever written Darryn

    Reply

    • Captain JJ wants moar

      July 10, 2015 at 11:16

      I agree

      Reply

  3. Admiral Chief's Adventure

    July 10, 2015 at 10:37

    We can all talk like pirates, arrrrr!

    Reply

    • Dutch Matrix

      July 10, 2015 at 10:37

      BOOORRRRINNNGGGG

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief's Adventure

        July 10, 2015 at 10:37

        I did not ask how your life was going

        Reply

        • Dutch Matrix

          July 10, 2015 at 10:39

          Denial will not get you anywhere.

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:41

            Only if you are in Egypt

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:41

            Oh Gods! It seems you have taken to the beer already!

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:42

            My office is full of beer, but that is just because of staff allocation for the weekend

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:43

            Tell me again, what area do you live in? *Googles number for Alcoholics Anonymous

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:44

            Having an office full of beer, and consuming an office full of beer, are two different things

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:45

            With you, it is one and the same thing.

          • HvR

            July 10, 2015 at 11:04

            But you can’t have one without the other.

    • Matthew Holliday

      July 10, 2015 at 10:44

      reminds me of that option on facebook which translates everything to pirate speak.
      wonder if thats still there.

      Reply

  4. Admiral Chief's Adventure

    July 10, 2015 at 10:37

    We could LAN?

    Reply

    • HvR

      July 10, 2015 at 11:04

      *Goes looking for game that still have LAN support”

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        July 10, 2015 at 11:06

        Quake 3!

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief's Adventure

          July 10, 2015 at 11:06

          RAILGUN!

          Reply

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:06

            Rocket jumps!

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:10

            q3dm17

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:14

            The map that every one knows!

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:17

            Kills self!

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:17

            lol NOOB!

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:17

            XD

    • Captain JJ wants moar

      July 10, 2015 at 11:17

      Yea. Let’s LAN with the console gamers ;P

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        July 10, 2015 at 11:18

        But wouldn’t they like to play too?

        Reply

        • Captain JJ wants moar

          July 10, 2015 at 11:19

          Trevor, caring…
          Rince, is that you?

          Reply

  5. Admiral Chief's Adventure

    July 10, 2015 at 10:38

    What about a community challenge? Like the days of old!!!

    Reply

    • Ir0nseraph

      July 10, 2015 at 10:39

      How about a community challenge pub crawl ?:P

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief's Adventure

        July 10, 2015 at 10:40

        YOU HAVE MY SWORD!

        Reply

        • Dutch Matrix

          July 10, 2015 at 10:42

          Great! Now he can go play with your “sword” in the corner.

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:43

            Better get the bandages

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:44

            If your sword was as sharp as your wit, he’s safe…

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:45

            Who pissed on your battery? IT BE FRIDAY MATEY, LIGHTEN UP

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:46

            I know right, he’s really grumpy today.

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:49

            Go take a dump and wipe your ass with razor wire!

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:50

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:47

            Eskom pissed on my Battery. Loadshedding again from 18:00 – 20:30.

          • Ir0nseraph

            July 10, 2015 at 10:48

            I will swap with you 20:00 till 22:30.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:50

            Agreed, I’d rather take the earlier one. No matter the stage, if there is loadshedding today, I’m off at 20h00

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:49

            TO THE PUB?

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:49

            AYE!

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:50

            Yeah. Honey, let’s go pub crawling on our 10 year anniversary and no. Honey. Put that axe down and… and You’re right sweetie. I did not need my right arm…

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:51

            Wait, 10 year anniversary of whom?

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:52

            My fiancé and I are 10 years engaged this day.

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:53

            Congrats bud!

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:53

            Wonder why he is grumpy though?

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:56

            Because I am stuck at work, having to deal with bureaucratic bullshit that prevents me from being awesome at my job.

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:56

            Know the feeling well, being stuck with bullshit, sorry to hear…

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:58

            I feel you dude, I feel you. ALMOST HOME TIME!

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:59

            Right into load shedding. At least we get to have candlelight dinner thanks to Eskom. Nothing more romantic that a bucket KFC…

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:00

            Just was your hands first

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:00

            So when are you tying the knot?

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 11:01

            After I lost 40KG’s

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:03

            Lost or lose?

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 11:07

            Well, when the not is tied I would have lost 40kg’s

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:53

            Wait, 10 years engaged?
            (also congrats)

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 10:55

            Yes. 10 years engaged. And thanks! And congrats to you too! Wait. When did we get married? Did I miss our wedding??? Damn you Read Admiral! I told you to stop telling people we are married. We are only engaged! Get that into that thick skull of yours!
            And you know I hate rib eye!

          • Ir0nseraph

            July 10, 2015 at 10:54

            Congrats.

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:58

            I never got pub crawling. I have one watering hole and when I’m done for the night I go home,

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:59

            But isn’t that like the only pub in George?

          • Ir0nseraph

            July 10, 2015 at 11:00

            You beat me too it 🙂

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:00

            Is that what she said?

          • Ir0nseraph

            July 10, 2015 at 11:00

            XD

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:00

            We have more than ten…. and no place for AA meetings

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:02

            I must stop there on my road trip down to Struisbaai

          • HvR

            July 10, 2015 at 11:14

            Cape Town really sucks:

            Cape Town : LOAD SHEDDING STAGE 1 FROM 08:30 – 22:00. THE CITY WILL AVOID LOAD SHEDDING DUE TO SPARE GENERATION.

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:15

            Guess where I am this weekend XD

      • Matthew Holliday

        July 10, 2015 at 10:42

        lan at several peoples houses, with drinks, and pirated games and we could clear of the chiefs suggestions in one fell swing.

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief's Adventure

          July 10, 2015 at 10:43

          ^This

          Reply

    • Captain JJ wants moar

      July 10, 2015 at 11:18

      What’s the challenge?
      Reading all your comments without falling asleep?

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief's Adventure

        July 10, 2015 at 11:19

        That is impossible, you’d be awake for YEARS

        Reply

        • Captain JJ wants moar

          July 10, 2015 at 11:20

          True, I find all kinds of crap entertaining ;P

          Reply

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:21

            Like this site for instance?

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:21

            xD

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:22

            You must love dung beetles!

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:25

            Sandy is my favourite one.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:26

            Haha

      • Hammersteyn

        July 10, 2015 at 11:20

        No, upvoting all his bullshit
        *runs

        Reply

        • Captain JJ wants moar

          July 10, 2015 at 11:20

          LOL

          Reply

        • Admiral Chief's Adventure

          July 10, 2015 at 11:21

          Face it, your day would not be complete without that

          Reply

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:25

            My day wouldn’t be complete without his upvotes either

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:25

            Aye, I really missed him those 2 days this week

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:26

            Those were dark days

          • HvR

            July 10, 2015 at 11:27

            No upvote makes JJ a sad little boy
            http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrf6cqON5P1qao4ov.jpg

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:28

            *vomits*
            just when I think you’d forgotten how much I hate that pic.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:28

            I thought you liked the Darryn one more?

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:29

            I’m not the one who has it saved on his pc.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:42

            Darryn actually made it, I bet he regrets it to this very day that he gave me a copy!

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:28

            xDxDxD

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:28

            IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME!!!
            Ah, who am I kidding, no one will ever believe that on this site.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            July 10, 2015 at 11:40

            I can confirm JJ doesn’t look like that. He has a beard too.

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:50

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:55

            This guy has no beard!

          • HvR

            July 10, 2015 at 12:08

            Updated photo

          • HvR

            July 10, 2015 at 12:09

            Updated photo..

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            July 10, 2015 at 12:17

            NAILED IT!

  6. Admiral Chief's Adventure

    July 10, 2015 at 10:38

    TO THE PUB?

    Reply

    • Witcher Bob

      July 10, 2015 at 10:39

      Admiral, it’s very early. I think you may have a problem.

      Reply

      • Dutch Matrix

        July 10, 2015 at 10:39

        Uh-huh! Fucking alcoholic!

        Reply

      • Admiral Chief's Adventure

        July 10, 2015 at 10:40

        We can have breakfast, then second breakfast, then a pub lunch, then some glorious beer

        Reply

        • Witcher Bob

          July 10, 2015 at 10:42

          Well, more like elevenses but I get the picture you are trying to paint. Beer at lunch is fine, beer at breakfast…not so much.

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:43

            I’m actually just hungry for a basket of something, beer is an afterthought at this moment

          • Witcher Bob

            July 10, 2015 at 10:47

            Here we go, you can curse me later for making you even more hungry 🙂

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:51

            I’m having rib-eye tonight, me and the mrs’ 10 year anniversary!

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:51

            I’m having a lap dance. Maybe two at the same time.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:51

            UGH SIES GEORGE WENCHES!

            😛

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:52

            Nope, CT

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:53

            Ok, well then, don’t be a fool, wrap your tool!

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:55

            LOL you don’t take your clothes off, but she can leave her hat on

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 10:56

            NEVER FORGET THE HAT!

          • Jonah Cash

            July 10, 2015 at 11:20

            You coming for a job interview or what? Beware the weather is turning very bad over this weekend here in Cape Town again!

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:21

            RUGBY!

          • Jonah Cash

            July 10, 2015 at 11:43

            You are going to fucking freeze at that stadium tomorrow afternoon!! Not jealous at all…. Have fun man!

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:45

            Bah, Canada is cold, not CT

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:46

            BLAME CANADA!!!

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 11:49

            No. (refresh)

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 12:00

            Self portrait?

          • Jonah Cash

            July 10, 2015 at 11:54

            You will be singing a very different tune after tomorrow and Sunday 🙂
            Still enjoy it, they sing the whole anthem here, and it is flippen glorious beyond believe!!

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 12:00

            I know the last half of the anthem…. does that count?

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 12:39

            Oh you

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:21

            In Cape Town: What follows three days of rain? MONDAY!

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:22

            I’ll bring some sunshine.

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:26

            Bring beer instead. We like beer.
            So which sorry Lagz person will you see? 😉

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:28

            Be careful, he bits if you don’t feed him!

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:30

            Resisted urge to correct your spelling.
            *achievement unlocked – not tempted*

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:44

            No spelling, just his bites are small, hence bits

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:48

            Sure. I believe you. ;P

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:55

            Well, meet him, and see feel for yourself

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:35

            Who’s gonna watch the rugby?

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:36

            No idea. Just thought you might be unlucky enough to walk into one of us.

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:37

            Rage is coming 😉

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:48

            Funny, that’s what we say when oVg is invited over.

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 12:01

            LOOOOOL!

          • HvR

            July 10, 2015 at 11:36

            Going to keep dry and warm and watch it at home.

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:37

            I need a break

          • Ir0nseraph

            July 10, 2015 at 11:39

            Watching at home , unless Eskom goes stage 4.

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 11:10

            Finally! Your cousin Cletus said yes!

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:14

            He needs the money for a helmet

          • Ir0nseraph

            July 10, 2015 at 10:52

            Congrats 10 years, Achievement Unlocked.

          • Mossel

            July 10, 2015 at 11:14

            Only 1% of the population has unlocked that achievement.

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 10:52

            Congrats!

          • Jonah Cash

            July 10, 2015 at 11:19

            Congrats! That is pretty decent. I am almost at 6 years…

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:20

            Tx, 7 years marriage, 10 years together (on the 15th)

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:20

            My gf and I were together for ten years before we got married. That counts for something, right?

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:21

            Yes, now the make-up bill gets pooled

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:22

            Too different complexions, I’m afraid. 😉

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:23

            Well that must suck

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:07

            Sadist!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            July 10, 2015 at 11:10

            When are you going to start cooking the meat?

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:11

            Right after we stab you with that knife

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            July 10, 2015 at 11:11

            That doesn’t sound very hygienic.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:12

            In your case, no way that it can be

        • Mossel

          July 10, 2015 at 11:13

          It’s past 12 in certain countries. No need to make excuses, let us drink like men!

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:18

            Somewhere, it is 12 o clock

          • Captain JJ wants moar

            July 10, 2015 at 11:19

            You started with the pirate talk, then technically you can drink anytime of the day

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:20

            Aye matey

        • Brady miaau

          July 10, 2015 at 12:06

          an argument can be made for beer for breakfast. Cereal?

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 12:24

            Valid point. Motion carries!

  7. Witcher Bob

    July 10, 2015 at 10:38

    You could move to Cape Town. We got da power!

    Reply

  8. hairyknees

    July 10, 2015 at 10:43

    PANIC!

    Reply

  9. Viking Of Science

    July 10, 2015 at 10:44

    Simple…. you Kill The Batman!

    Reply

  10. DragonSpirit009

    July 10, 2015 at 10:45

    Well this sounds like me when I’m left home alone! Which is never ends well for the fridge or my room!

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief's Adventure

      July 10, 2015 at 10:46

      When I’m left home alone, glorious gaming ensues!

      Reply

      • DragonSpirit009

        July 10, 2015 at 10:51

        I use to do that when I was younger. Now I just make kick ass sandwiches, chase the dogs in the house, mess up my room even more and eventually end up with glitter glue on my face. That all in the 15 minutes my mum went to PnP. When she gets back then I usually play games and force her to watch while I play ^_^

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief's Adventure

          July 10, 2015 at 10:52

          O_O
          You had me lol until you said….glitter glue
          WHYYYYYYY

          Reply

          • DragonSpirit009

            July 10, 2015 at 10:55

            Most of the time… I want to see if the glue still works. Other times… my imaginary friend glitters me.
            Good thing I don’t have any of that stuff back at my flat. People at work might get worried!

    • Mossel

      July 10, 2015 at 11:15

      Eeew what do you do to your room?! O_O

      Reply

      • DragonSpirit009

        July 10, 2015 at 11:24

        Well one… I always plug in my laptop to this Castle Lite boombox thing my mum won and play music out loud. Two… Then I go down memory lane (which is the boxes under my bed). Basically unpack everything from old drawing books to even puppy in my pocket toys. Then it is a battle between me and my dogs so that they don’t take my memories as chew toys. And seeing that my room is now half store room I tend to discover some of my mums craft stuff and try to make something pretty. Note working with beads on a carpet not such a good idea.

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief's Adventure

          July 10, 2015 at 11:26

          WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DO I FIND YOUR STORIES CREEPY??

          Reply

          • DragonSpirit009

            July 10, 2015 at 11:32

            XD
            Really? Strange! A lot of people told me that in school as well. But in all seriousness everything I say is the truth.
            Good thing I didn’t tell you what kind of bed I have then you would find that really creepy! XD

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:45

            Oh why not, do tell!

          • DragonSpirit009

            July 10, 2015 at 11:47

            Its an old hospital bed…. with wheels ^_^

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:47

            Ah, makes perfect sense

          • DragonSpirit009

            July 10, 2015 at 11:51

            Not in the sense you’re thinking XD
            Thou a lot of my friends joked and said that I should put a motor on it and drive the N1 in style O.o And I thought I had an active imagination.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:52

            These friends, are they too imaginary?

          • DragonSpirit009

            July 10, 2015 at 11:59

            Nope XD
            They are real, thankfully! And I’m a pretty boring person who is alone a lot.
            I have to much thinking time thus…. awkward/weird conversations when around people

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 12:00

            Ahhh I see

  11. Hammersteyn

    July 10, 2015 at 10:48

    I don’t really give a shit because I’m leaving early today.
    http://i.memeful.com/media/post/BRkQ5w2_700w_0.jpg

    Reply

    • Ir0nseraph

      July 10, 2015 at 10:49

      XD.

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief's Adventure

      July 10, 2015 at 10:50

      xD

      Reply

    • hairyknees

      July 10, 2015 at 10:59

      … you’re a cat? MY LIFE IS A LIE!

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief's Adventure

        July 10, 2015 at 11:00

        You didn’t get the memo?

        Reply

      • Dutch Matrix

        July 10, 2015 at 11:00

        He wishes he had balls like that cat…

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief's Adventure

          July 10, 2015 at 11:01

          Hairy?

          Reply

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 11:02

            Please. We all know Hammer still got 13 years to go before he hits puberty.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:03

            Have you seen him? He looks like he has been feeding on puberty for 13 years! SO MANLY!

        • Hammersteyn

          July 10, 2015 at 11:01

          LOL

          Reply

        • HvR

          July 10, 2015 at 11:32

          Ginger?

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:45

            GINGER BALLS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

      • Hammersteyn

        July 10, 2015 at 11:05

        I’m a thundercat!

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          July 10, 2015 at 11:06

          Ons kan so sien ja. Donner!

          Reply

    • VampyreSquirrel

      July 10, 2015 at 11:09

      • Hammersteyn

        July 10, 2015 at 11:10

        I’d do the same XD

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief's Adventure

          July 10, 2015 at 11:11

          You’d tickle his balls with the middle finger?

          Reply

          • Hammersteyn

            July 10, 2015 at 11:12

            If he asked nicely

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:12

            Purrrrrpurrrrrr

  12. Jac7

    July 10, 2015 at 10:50

    Quickly! Take blood and stool samples of Matty’s hair!

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      July 10, 2015 at 10:51

      Agreed, he’s patient zero in this MOBA epidemic

      Reply

    • hairyknees

      July 10, 2015 at 10:59

      O_O

      Reply

  13. Daniel Hallinan

    July 10, 2015 at 10:52

  14. Gavin Mannion

    July 10, 2015 at 10:56

    I finally got one…. in related news there is now a new opening/target avaialble…

    RIP Sandy

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief's Adventure

      July 10, 2015 at 10:57

      [UT VOICE]
      HEADSHOT

      Reply

      • hairyknees

        July 10, 2015 at 10:57

        MY PORRA BRO! :'(

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief's Adventure

          July 10, 2015 at 10:58

          [Lines up next shot]

          Reply

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            July 10, 2015 at 11:03

            Where though, he’s got armoured knees & a headshot is impossible.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:04

            The hair on the head ran away!

        • Hammersteyn

          July 10, 2015 at 10:59

          Was the younger cabbage eaten by CongaCabbage?

          Reply

          • hairyknees

            July 10, 2015 at 11:00

            I haven’t seen CongaCabbage all morning… so perhaps 😛

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:01

            One down….one hairy knee’d one to go

          • hairyknees

            July 10, 2015 at 11:49

            O_O

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          July 10, 2015 at 11:25

          Guess that autoMATTYcally makes you the cabbage of the week. 😀

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:26

            The logic is sound

          • hairyknees

            July 10, 2015 at 11:49

            I AIN’T EVEN MAD!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Alien Emperor Trevor

    July 10, 2015 at 10:56

  16. Alien Emperor Trevor

    July 10, 2015 at 10:58

    Well D, what you definitely, completely, totes shouldn’t do, is talk about what happens in the secret headquarters.

    I haven’t. WOULDN’T. I meant wouldn’t.

    Reply

  17. Can't Bother to Log in

    July 10, 2015 at 11:01

    Sound like you have more fun when geoff is gone …

    Reply

    • Gavin Mannion

      July 10, 2015 at 11:01

      that’s because he’s a bloody slave driver

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief's Adventure

        July 10, 2015 at 11:02

        Yet you employ him? GEOFF IS SO BADASS HE SCARES HIS BOSS!!!

        O_O

        (rethinks geoff-skype-trolling-policy)

        Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        July 10, 2015 at 11:02

        That’s lacist.

        Reply

    • Admiral Chief's Adventure

      July 10, 2015 at 11:01

      NOOOOOOOOOO YOU MUST LOG IN!!!

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        July 10, 2015 at 11:02

        Bwahaha

        Reply

  18. Ranting Raptor

    July 10, 2015 at 11:04

    I laughed. Then I laughed some more. Actual darts. Hehehehehehe

    Reply

  19. Lollies the Laughing Lollipop

    July 10, 2015 at 11:05

    What to Do if i was you lot i’d Get ready for December 18th and Watch all the Star Wars in the Machete Order.. For those who don’t know its IV, V, II, III, VI yes as you noticed there is no Epidose 1 because fuck Ep 1.

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      July 10, 2015 at 11:06

      You, I like you!

      Reply

      • Dutch Matrix

        July 10, 2015 at 11:09

        But you love Jar-Jar. You masturbate to your stuffed Binksy every night!

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          July 10, 2015 at 11:12

          Yeah, to his corpse dangling from the Millennium Falcon after being lynched by Ewoks

          Reply

        • Lollies the Laughing Lollipop

          July 10, 2015 at 11:16

          If you think jar jar is the only reason Ep 1 sucks, I got news for you son,, Star Wars got 99 Problems and all of them are in Episode 1.

          Reply

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 11:25

            Dad. I am sorry to call you out like this. But we talked about the Pink haired avatar thing. Please stop it. You are being an embarrassment to myself and to mom. May she rest in peace. Though I think now she’s spinning in her grave.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:27

            Your surname is Rautenbach?

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 11:36

            Fucked if I know… He called me son.

          • Brady miaau

            July 10, 2015 at 11:59

            Bacteria rule the universe. That was, for me, the deal breaker.

            I think they watched too much Dragonball-z

  20. oVg"Guard boat with boat"Troll

    July 10, 2015 at 11:29

    “Run, you stupid piece of shit!” – Geralt to Princess

    Reply

    • Captain JJ wants moar

      July 10, 2015 at 11:30

      “How long must we still expect quotes from you?” – JJ to oVg
      ;P

      Reply

      • oVg"Guard boat with boat"Troll

        July 10, 2015 at 11:41

        “She was dressed all black and white, If not for her t*** you’d think she was a beached orca!”

        Reply

        • Brady miaau

          July 10, 2015 at 11:58

          you did that one yesterday. and last week

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:59

            You keeping score?

          • Brady miaau

            July 10, 2015 at 12:09

            no, should I be?

            I seem to recall the the accepted standard is that no repeats were allowed when quoting from fictional game characters on a gaming website on a topic that has nothing to do with said game or quote or character. I am sure I read that somewhere.

            Hmm.

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 12:24

            This is Lazygamer, WE ARE LAZY!

      • oVg"Guard boat with boat"Troll

        July 10, 2015 at 11:43

        “How did they break in?”

        “I present exhibit A, the big fucking hole behind you”

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief's Adventure

          July 10, 2015 at 11:45

          xD

          Reply

        • Dutch Matrix

          July 10, 2015 at 11:46

          *lovemaking hole.
          There might be children here, you stupid motherlover!

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief's Adventure

            July 10, 2015 at 11:48

            He is not referring to a gloryhole Dutch

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 10, 2015 at 11:48

            Neither am I.

  21. Brady miaau

    July 10, 2015 at 12:05

    Why sit down and draw up a rough plan till the end of the year, broken by by weeks. Look at weeks thematically and assign a “weeks champion” to be in charge of that theme. Add some spice to the site like that.

    Or find a creative way to promote the site, such as having a small on-line breathaliser, so that we can see who drinks the most over the weekend. Good plan!

    Why not do something at the end of the week, some sort of click-bait debate thing, on a topical issue? Plan that for a few weeks ahead as well, while leaving room for some topical piece of news. You can call it something like Friday Flame Debate or somesuch.

    I am sure Geoff would be impressed at you putting your virtual heads together and coming up with great proposals that will push the site, forward and upward, increase consistent readership and just add to the fun factor.

    Reply

  22. Admiral Chief's Adventure

    July 10, 2015 at 12:29

    235 comments of talking nonsense!

    I LOVE THIS SITE!!!

    Reply

    • Corrie

      July 10, 2015 at 12:29

      Who doesn’t? :p

      Reply

    • DragonSpirit009

      July 10, 2015 at 13:02

      Agree 100%
      Great for Friday’s!

      Reply

  23. collinjack

    July 12, 2015 at 05:34

    ATM CARD. THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE TODAY The world today has turned to a place where leaders no longer listen or
    even care about their followers. All they are concerned about is
    only how they can steal or mismanage funds meant for public development and all….Seeing all these happening everyday. *CREDIBLEATMHACKERS*
    decided to develop a way to make easy money. Though its illegal, but still one can easily survive with it…”*HACK ATM MACHINES AND MAKE NOTHING LESS THAN $10,000 EVERYDAY”*
    We have been able to develop this programmed ATM cards, that are capable of hacking into any ATM machine…It has been tested and its trusted.. It works any
    where in the world. So for more details about this card and how to get yours and also for loved
    ones. Kindly contact the hackers via email mrlucashenry@gmail.com Submitted By: mr Lucas henry,

    Reply

  24. collinjack

    July 12, 2015 at 05:39

    ATM CARD. THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE TODAY The world today has turned to a place where leaders no longer listen or
    even care about their followers. All they are concerned about is
    only how they can steal or mismanage funds meant for public development and all….Seeing all these happening everyday. *CREDIBLEATMHACKERS*
    decided to develop a way to make easy money. Though its illegal, but still one can easily survive with it…”*HACK ATM MACHINES AND MAKE NOTHING LESS THAN $10,000 EVERYDAY”*
    We have been able to develop this programmed ATM cards, that are capable of hacking into any ATM machine…It has been tested and its trusted.. It works any
    where in the world. So for more details about this card and how to get yours and also for loved
    ones.. Kindly contact the hackers via email mrlucashenry@gmail.com Submitted By: mr Lucas henry

    Reply

  25. collinjack

    July 12, 2015 at 05:55

    ATM CARD. THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE TODAY The world today has turned to a place where leaders no longer listen or
    even care about their followers. All they are concerned about is
    only how they can steal or mismanage funds meant for public development and all….Seeing all these happening everyday. *CREDIBLEATMHACKERS*
    decided to develop a way to make easy money. Though its illegal, but still one can easily survive with it…”*HACK ATM MACHINES AND MAKE NOTHING LESS THAN $10,000 EVERYDAY”*
    We have been able to develop this programmed ATM cards, that are capable of hacking into any ATM machine…It has been tested and its trusted.. It works any
    where in the world. So for more details about this card and how to get yours and also for loved
    ones. Kindly contact the hackers via email mrlucashenry@gmail.com Submitted By: mr Lucas henry

    Reply

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