Final Fantasy 8 Remastered launches on September 3

Even with the planet being given a one-two combination of global warming and rampant pollution while greed and hate take to the world stage, I’ve got a feeling that in the end everything is going to be alright. Life is about finding your own personal refuge from all the calamity exploding around you, and for me that pillow fortress of solitude may just be Final Fantasy 8.

I’ve waxed on and off like a Miyagi karate school student about my love for the game, which still stands as my personal favourite chapter in Square Enix’s library of role-playing masterclasses. It’s a game with deep themes, a bonkers story set in a military school and a level of ambition that was unheard of at the time back in ye olde PlayStation One era.

Looks its really good okay? If you’re looking for something mature, there’s a whole plot about war, life and the power of memories. If you’re looking for something shallow, there’s guns with swords attached to them, Guardian Force summons that are long enough for you to make a sammich and trains. TRAINS! TRAAAAAAAAAINS! Everyone loves trains.

Point is, is that Final Fantasy 8 is out soon with a facelift that would make Tom Cruise seethe with jealousy as he lays within his bathtub of moisturiser and stem cells if he caught wind of it. September 3 is when the best Final Fantasy arrives, but don’t just take my word for it. Here’s Square Enix delivering the good news:

Good lord, is that…is that a brief riff of Eyes on Me I hear? I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE THE ONE WHO HAS MALFUNCTIONING OCULAR ORGANS WHOSE LUBRICATION GEARS ARE STUCK TO WEEPY. September 3 folks, mark it in your calendar. I’ll see you guys in Balamb Garden soon enough. Or in that tomb where you adventure to find the Brothers Guardian Force but thanks to 1990s game design you spend more time going in circles than you do in a straight line.

Last Updated: August 20, 2019