Ah cinema. The home of such classic films like Akira Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, the sophisticated art nouveau of Citizen Kane and masterpieces such as Un Chien Andalou. Testicles to those movies, because nobody watches them. Instead, I want something trashy, consumable and memetic, like the made for terrible TV gems such as Sharknado. And it’s about damn time that such a film got a video game tie-in.
In case you’ve never, ever heard of Sharknado (SHAME ON YOU!), here’s the TV trailer for that cult classic:
According to the email that I received, here’s what pumping in $2.99 gets you in the full endless runner adaptation:
- Run through the streets of Manhattan wielding a broadsword
- Bounce off of the backs of tiger sharks to reach higher ground
- Feed buckets of fish to angry sharks to avoid dying
- Surf New York’s flooded avenues, avoiding hammerhead stampedes
- Collect official Sharknado trading cards
- Fly into the heart of the sharknado clutching tightly to a chainsaw
- Learn valuable lessons about sharks…and themselves
And here’s a trailer for the game, which has higher production values than the film itself. And a catchy theme tune:
The game is out now. If you’ve ever dreamed of a world where you can run through streets and bludgeon various aquatic sea-life in a manner brutal enough to make a Japanese whaling fleet recoil in horror and disgust, then this might be the game for you.
Now if you’ll pardon me, I’m going to pitch a movie to SyFy. I call it, Mega Octopusteroid Vs Earth.
Last Updated: July 30, 2014
Viking Of Science
July 30, 2014 at 12:03
Sharkando is amazingly Terrible, but by no means a “Cult Classic” don’t make me go into an essay on Nanar…
Kensei Seraph
July 30, 2014 at 12:20
Why are you bringing the Banana into this?
Sageville
July 30, 2014 at 13:11
PFFT!
I GIVE YOU>>>>>
Rince&pop
July 30, 2014 at 13:15
It sickens me how people use the term ‘Cult Classic’ to excuse shit movies.
UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy
July 30, 2014 at 12:03
YES! o/ Now all we need a RPG version of Tommy Wiseau’s – The Room!!!
Viking Of Science
July 30, 2014 at 12:03
Oh, Hi Mark.
UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy
July 30, 2014 at 12:04
“I did not hit her! I did not!”
UnholyMunk
July 30, 2014 at 12:22
THIS! It MUST happen!
Viking Of Science
July 30, 2014 at 12:28
Wait it DID HAPPEN!
I remember from last week!
http://store.steampowered.com/app/307290/
UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy
July 30, 2014 at 12:30
lol! It sounds like Big Brother the MOBA xD
Kensei Seraph
July 30, 2014 at 12:31
Kim K the MOBA seems more likely.
Now please excuse me as I need to get rid of my lunch.
UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy
July 30, 2014 at 12:33
Oh god! I would play that at least once and then hate myself… Imagine Valve made the DOTA2 map available for modding. We would see all those maps they had in War3! The possibilities! o/
UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy
July 30, 2014 at 12:35
Dude die reviews vir daai game is GLORIOUS! Ek lol IRL aan die kant!
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July 30, 2014 at 12:53
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UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy
July 30, 2014 at 12:54
Are you a hooker?
Sageville
July 30, 2014 at 13:14
Definitely a hooker… I read it “Paycrap” must be accurate.
Mossel
July 30, 2014 at 13:32
Put a banana in your ear.
Hammersteyn
July 30, 2014 at 12:05
We usually give movie tie in games shit because that’s what it usually is. But in this case the game is actually better than the movie. Well the acting anyway.
Umar GAAAAHH!!!
July 30, 2014 at 12:07
This will always have a sweet spot in my heart
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X8m8PAGllKo/UUmi2XY_wUI/AAAAAAAAHEo/svf8rK5Xldg/s1600/samurai7zy11.jpg
Kensei Seraph
July 30, 2014 at 12:20
I was hoping you’d get to control the Sharknado in a manner similiar to Plague Inc.
Steamydude
July 30, 2014 at 12:25
I was waiting sooooo long for this game omw i cannot believe its out! This is the title of the DECADE! a total must have!
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
July 30, 2014 at 12:36
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!!
Kromas
July 30, 2014 at 12:51
Mega Octopusteroid Vs Earth already in the works. I hear Baysplosian and JJ Lensflare will be collaborating.
gravi55
July 30, 2014 at 12:53
good
ToshZA
July 30, 2014 at 12:57
In other news, I burped and it tasted like rabbit droppings. Am I a hedgehog?
Brady miaau
July 30, 2014 at 15:18
No, but the person next to you is. beware spines
I read it in a fortune cookie
Sageville
July 30, 2014 at 13:08
FINALLY!
Rince&pop
July 30, 2014 at 13:14
Oh wow. Is this running at 1fps? That’s, one frame per shark?