Disclaimer: As the name so clearly implies, Genital Jousting features many penises and penetration. So it’s definitely no safe for any workplace, and should certainly not be viewed if you by any way feel uncomfortable by the subject matter. Even its developers agree.
If you thought you’d seen it all when it came to the extents of what a video game could offer, I point you towards Genital Jousting. Developed by Free Lives, the minds behind Broforce, Genital Jousting is all about penetrating your friends. Digitally of course, considering you’re all going to be flopping about across a variety of modes with your own, customisable flaccid penis. Yes, seriously.
If you’re still confused as to how exactly this makes any sense at all, check out the game’s Early Access trailer.
Right now you’re able to purchase Genital Jousting on Steam and engage in some eight-player couch co-op or some (limited) Online Multipeen. The former is more fleshed out right now, with eight game modes being present. That includes Sportsball (think Rocket League light with penises), Space Race and Weiner Round up (which is just as funny as the mental image you’re likely conjuring up). Free Lives plans to improve on and add to these modes in the coming weeks, with a full release planned for the first half of 2017.
Online multiplayer just features Traditional Mode for now, where you’re awarded points for penetrating another player while also getting penetrated yourself. I gave it some time last night, and just really couldn’t contain myself.
Free Lives are hoping to take in community feedback to help craft this delightfully hung game, as they add in new modes, improve online functionality and even create a campaign mode. It’s currently going for the low, low price of $5 on Steam (or just R55 locally), so if you’re any bit curious about what it feels like to handle a real dick online, you’ve got an outlet.
Also it’s just a hell of a lot of silly fun so far, so why not.
Last Updated: November 18, 2016
Lord Chaos
November 18, 2016 at 09:48
Excuse me while I go wash my eyes out with bleach.
Original Heretic
November 18, 2016 at 09:49
I’ll be filing this one in the “Whaaaaaat the hell?” category.
PoisonedBelial
November 18, 2016 at 09:49
This is incredible… XD
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 09:50
https://media.giphy.com/media/T9bLJNLRhHSQU/giphy.gif
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:50
WHAT THE BUNNY DID I JUST SEE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! No seriously, WTF???? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dd3c93a5598bcca9a2b198b39c304809e79343a6d4b9c9d036eacef0caeeeabc.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9a4207ae6fc36d89d98b135ecf2e55d993c24c54ec697e82ff2931638d97749d.jpg
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 09:50
WHAT THE FLIPPING FLIP DUDE????????????
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:51
I think he might have had a stroke or something.
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 09:51
https://media.giphy.com/media/PSBkfJO9zUpyg/giphy.gif
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:51
XD
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:52
*Sending this to wife.
Lord Chaos
November 18, 2016 at 09:52
Haha, was good to know you,
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:53
Only way to get her. I have mastered the art of the naked ambush.
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 09:52
Planning on leaving work early?
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:52
I wish.
VampyreSquirrel
November 18, 2016 at 09:53
Achievement Hunter released a lets play in this… its… something.
I still can’t believe this exists.
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 09:53
I think Broforce has a new meaning now
Lord Chaos
November 18, 2016 at 09:54
O_o
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 09:54
yoh
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:54
Pielevleg.
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 09:55
I’m both grossed out and lolling at the same time
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 18, 2016 at 09:59
Just what on that tropical island get-away of theirs?
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 09:53
Let the penis jokes FLY!
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 09:56
Stop dicking around
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 09:54
http://www.relatably.com/m/img/disgusted-memes/359f70f7b400b170ee8c535af407d3643ec3969a660403f240c39e4407430894.jpg
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:55
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/732573c20c4f2d63539a671726a5461765c22f9f60850c7405f14d1d18e7865e.jpg
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 09:54
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/514/608/eae.gif
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 09:54
http://www.relatably.com/m/img/disgusted-memes/1296607614891.jpg
Kromas Ryder
November 18, 2016 at 09:55
We need to get this game and have a community event like last week already!
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 10:11
UHHHHHHMMMMM why? o_O
Kromas Ryder
November 18, 2016 at 10:12
So everyone can literally show off their E-peen. 😛
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 10:13
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d9a70316a520609ef8988555ad4aea2c1749607f0318efc2d19b79729efde6d5.jpg
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:11
What happened last week?
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 18, 2016 at 09:55
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-15478-Nathan-Fillion-speechless-gif-TeGC.gif
PoisonedBelial
November 18, 2016 at 09:55
So if this does not sell well, could it be classified as…
(•_•)
( •_•)>??-?
(??_?)
A major cock-up?
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:56
XD
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 09:56
XD
Lord Chaos
November 18, 2016 at 09:58
Well, as the saying goes, coitus sells.
Alien Emperor Trevor
November 18, 2016 at 09:58
Putting the D in my PTSD! *has flashbacks to the gym steam room*
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 09:58
https://media.giphy.com/media/yGc91ULwC3Ly0/giphy.gif
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 09:59
Reminds me of something else
Lord Chaos
November 18, 2016 at 09:59
*breaks
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 09:59
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9367b25e85f512629153eaf9dc046248bada7644e44388517893e007d262d4a4.gif
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:02
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/thats_a_penis_reverse.gif
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:03
INB4 Otto!!!
WAIT……phrasing
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:03
EVEN EXACTLY THE SAME URL?????
GG Otto
SNAP
Original Heretic
November 18, 2016 at 10:05
Easy now, no need to get bent out of shape. Pip pip and all that, keep a stiff upper lip.
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:06
stiff
http://i.imgur.com/nxMBqb4.gif
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:03
I was in before you…
PHRASING!
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:06
Lemme refresh, not showing here, hence why I posted it.
Was odd for me that no one actually posted that one
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:07
Refreshed, stupid disqus
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:03
I kinda just copy pasta yours since Hammer was already ahead xD
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:04
Where? Don’t see, might need refresh
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:05
I won by a neck?
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:07
Back neck or front neck?
Lord Chaos
November 18, 2016 at 10:04
Hammer beat you to it…
O_o
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:02
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/thats_a_penis_reverse.gif
Original Heretic
November 18, 2016 at 10:03
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6eec7b1b96a1bca69823380dadd6d75fd4545eaafdd4e1cddcfedb012b9d6da9.jpg
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:04
Hoender veg
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 10:07
*geveg
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:07
DON’T CROSS THE STREAMS
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:09
LOOOOOOOOOOOL!
Original Heretic
November 18, 2016 at 10:12
They’re rocket ships!! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/16984654b189f93070c1bcb4ec2feafdb3c4b5d9e69d8889649c2218877f0b22.jpg
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:12
https://media.giphy.com/media/JVqeFxl3Qo8/giphy.gif
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:12
9gag would be proud of you
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:13
XD
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:13
Ah yes, in true 9gag tradition. How did I miss this
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:13
http://img.pandawhale.com/67796-hot-dogs-hitting-guy-gif-thats-TXij.gif
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:14
So this is what the game will be like in VR
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:15
NEE SIES
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:25
Hahahahaha
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:16
I am going full Avo here, be warned!
https://i.makeagif.com/media/8-22-2015/BgBrsR.gif
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:17
Oh crap I did not see the end. Delete this fast !
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:18
FFS OTTO
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:20
My bad
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:22
At least I was online to delete it
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:22
I would have called you xD
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:23
At least I would have taken the call
HvR
November 18, 2016 at 10:19
Yes the end is what is wrong with that
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:19
The end is the normal part actually
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:19
“Did not see the end”………..in a dick article………..really?
HvR
November 18, 2016 at 10:22
So you only get +1 points and not +2
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:26
Oh cock!
Ottokie
November 18, 2016 at 10:27
Oh cock would have been the least of my problems.
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 11:12
What a tit
konfab
November 18, 2016 at 10:16
It would only be consensual if you could had to explicitly do something to open the cloaca.
Otherwise this is just pure rape culture.
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:16
Valid point
Matthew Figueira
November 18, 2016 at 10:20
https://media.giphy.com/media/MJ0sxcBzT3mTu/giphy.gif
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 10:21
XD
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:26
LOL!
Bruce Bielie
November 18, 2016 at 10:21
Come again? No!!!! Broforce is like one of those instant classics! What balls up is this?
HvR
November 18, 2016 at 10:22
Very disappointed in the lack of cultural diversity and it sets an unrealistic expectation on teenage boys to look a certain way.
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:22
Also free marketing to the “make schlong bigger” adverts
Disgraceful
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 10:25
Well that killed the convo
HvR
November 18, 2016 at 10:30
LOL, right in the PC bunghole
Zoe Hawkins
November 18, 2016 at 10:36
agree – not everyone can put a police outfit on their wang and be comfy. 😛
Admiral Chief Argonian
November 18, 2016 at 11:12
DID YOU SAY WANG?
http://legacy.3drealms.com/sw/images/lowang1t.gif
HvR
November 18, 2016 at 15:40
I actually needed to retract the part of my comment regarding cultural diversity as I see in the Let’s Play video that their is a random spread between circumcised and uncircumcised dicks.
It was not clear from Alessandro’s video
HvR
November 18, 2016 at 15:43
PS – black bow tie on a penis … classy as fuck
Andre Fourie
November 18, 2016 at 10:22
Okay we need a new article. I had about as much dicking around as I can take for one day.
Pieter Kruger
November 18, 2016 at 10:29
Are they TRYING to become the Wierd Al Yankovic of developers….?
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
November 18, 2016 at 10:32
hehe Yank
Craig "CrAiGiSh" Dodd
November 18, 2016 at 11:49
What the actual fuck ….
Sageville
November 18, 2016 at 12:31
These unrealistic male body expectations have gotten out of hand….
Sageville
November 18, 2016 at 13:41
I’m just giggling about how they must have developed the sound effects….
Graeme Selvan
November 18, 2016 at 15:33
WTF
40 Insane Frogs
November 18, 2016 at 18:52
Dear god… what is this?