Home Gaming Genital Jousting is all about consensual, co-operative penetration

Genital Jousting is all about consensual, co-operative penetration

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Genital Jousting - Screen 3

Disclaimer: As the name so clearly implies, Genital Jousting features many penises and penetration. So it’s definitely no safe for any workplace, and should certainly not be viewed if you by any way feel uncomfortable by the subject matter. Even its developers agree.

If you thought you’d seen it all when it came to the extents of what a video game could offer, I point you towards Genital Jousting. Developed by Free Lives, the minds behind Broforce, Genital Jousting is all about penetrating your friends. Digitally of course, considering you’re all going to be flopping about across a variety of modes with your own, customisable flaccid penis. Yes, seriously.

If you’re still confused as to how exactly this makes any sense at all, check out the game’s Early Access trailer.

Right now you’re able to purchase Genital Jousting on Steam and engage in some eight-player couch co-op or some (limited) Online Multipeen. The former is more fleshed out right now, with eight game modes being present. That includes Sportsball (think Rocket League light with penises), Space Race and Weiner Round up (which is just as funny as the mental image you’re likely conjuring up). Free Lives plans to improve on and add to these modes in the coming weeks, with a full release planned for the first half of 2017.

Online multiplayer just features Traditional Mode for now, where you’re awarded points for penetrating another player while also getting penetrated yourself. I gave it some time last night, and just really couldn’t contain myself.

Free Lives are hoping to take in community feedback to help craft this delightfully hung game, as they add in new modes, improve online functionality and even create a campaign mode. It’s currently going for the low, low price of $5 on Steam (or just R55 locally), so if you’re any bit curious about what it feels like to handle a real dick online, you’ve got an outlet.

Also it’s just a hell of a lot of silly fun so far, so why not.

Last Updated: November 18, 2016

106 Comments

  1. Excuse me while I go wash my eyes out with bleach.

    Reply

  2. Original Heretic

    November 18, 2016 at 09:49

    I’ll be filing this one in the “Whaaaaaat the hell?” category.

    Reply

  3. PoisonedBelial

    November 18, 2016 at 09:49

    This is incredible… XD

    Reply

  4. Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

    November 18, 2016 at 09:50

  5. Andre Fourie

    November 18, 2016 at 09:50

  6. Admiral Chief Argonian

    November 18, 2016 at 09:50

    WHAT THE FLIPPING FLIP DUDE????????????

    Reply

    • Andre Fourie

      November 18, 2016 at 09:51

      I think he might have had a stroke or something.

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

      November 18, 2016 at 09:51

      • Andre Fourie

        November 18, 2016 at 09:51

        XD

        Reply

      • Andre Fourie

        November 18, 2016 at 09:52

        *Sending this to wife.

        Reply

        • Lord Chaos

          November 18, 2016 at 09:52

          Haha, was good to know you,

          Reply

          • Andre Fourie

            November 18, 2016 at 09:53

            Only way to get her. I have mastered the art of the naked ambush.

        • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

          November 18, 2016 at 09:52

          Planning on leaving work early?

          Reply

          • Andre Fourie

            November 18, 2016 at 09:52

            I wish.

  7. VampyreSquirrel

    November 18, 2016 at 09:53

    Achievement Hunter released a lets play in this… its… something.

    I still can’t believe this exists.

    Reply

  8. Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

    November 18, 2016 at 09:53

    I think Broforce has a new meaning now

    Reply

    • Lord Chaos

      November 18, 2016 at 09:54

      O_o

      Reply

    • Ottokie

      November 18, 2016 at 09:54

      yoh

      Reply

    • Andre Fourie

      November 18, 2016 at 09:54

      Pielevleg.

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief Argonian

      November 18, 2016 at 09:55

      I’m both grossed out and lolling at the same time

      Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      November 18, 2016 at 09:59

      Just what on that tropical island get-away of theirs?

      Reply

  9. Ottokie

    November 18, 2016 at 09:53

    Let the penis jokes FLY!

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

      November 18, 2016 at 09:56

      Stop dicking around

      Reply

  10. Admiral Chief Argonian

    November 18, 2016 at 09:54

  11. Admiral Chief Argonian

    November 18, 2016 at 09:54

  12. Admiral Chief Argonian

    November 18, 2016 at 09:54

  13. Kromas Ryder

    November 18, 2016 at 09:55

    We need to get this game and have a community event like last week already!

    Reply

  14. Alien Emperor Trevor

    November 18, 2016 at 09:55

  15. PoisonedBelial

    November 18, 2016 at 09:55

    So if this does not sell well, could it be classified as…

    (•_•)
    ( •_•)>??-?
    (??_?)

    A major cock-up?

    Reply

    • Andre Fourie

      November 18, 2016 at 09:56

      XD

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

      November 18, 2016 at 09:56

      XD

      Reply

    • Lord Chaos

      November 18, 2016 at 09:58

      Well, as the saying goes, coitus sells.

      Reply

  16. Alien Emperor Trevor

    November 18, 2016 at 09:58

    Putting the D in my PTSD! *has flashbacks to the gym steam room*

    Reply

  17. Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

    November 18, 2016 at 09:58

    • Ottokie

      November 18, 2016 at 09:59

      Reminds me of something else

      Reply

    • Lord Chaos

      November 18, 2016 at 09:59

      *breaks

      Reply

  18. Andre Fourie

    November 18, 2016 at 09:59

  19. Admiral Chief Argonian

    November 18, 2016 at 10:02

    • Admiral Chief Argonian

      November 18, 2016 at 10:03

      INB4 Otto!!!

      WAIT……phrasing

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief Argonian

        November 18, 2016 at 10:03

        EVEN EXACTLY THE SAME URL?????

        GG Otto

        SNAP

        Reply

      • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

        November 18, 2016 at 10:03

        I was in before you…
        PHRASING!

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief Argonian

          November 18, 2016 at 10:06

          Lemme refresh, not showing here, hence why I posted it.

          Was odd for me that no one actually posted that one

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief Argonian

            November 18, 2016 at 10:07

            Refreshed, stupid disqus

      • Ottokie

        November 18, 2016 at 10:03

        I kinda just copy pasta yours since Hammer was already ahead xD

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief Argonian

          November 18, 2016 at 10:04

          Where? Don’t see, might need refresh

          Reply

        • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

          November 18, 2016 at 10:05

          I won by a neck?

          Reply

          • Ottokie

            November 18, 2016 at 10:07

            Back neck or front neck?

      • Lord Chaos

        November 18, 2016 at 10:04

        Hammer beat you to it…
        O_o

        Reply

  20. Ottokie

    November 18, 2016 at 10:02

  21. Original Heretic

    November 18, 2016 at 10:03

    • Ottokie

      November 18, 2016 at 10:04

      Hoender veg

      Reply

      • Andre Fourie

        November 18, 2016 at 10:07

        *geveg

        Reply

  22. Admiral Chief Argonian

    November 18, 2016 at 10:07

    DON’T CROSS THE STREAMS

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

      November 18, 2016 at 10:09

      LOOOOOOOOOOOL!

      Reply

  23. Original Heretic

    November 18, 2016 at 10:12

  24. Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

    November 18, 2016 at 10:12

    • Admiral Chief Argonian

      November 18, 2016 at 10:12

      9gag would be proud of you

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

        November 18, 2016 at 10:13

        XD

        Reply

    • Ottokie

      November 18, 2016 at 10:13

      Ah yes, in true 9gag tradition. How did I miss this

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief Argonian

      November 18, 2016 at 10:13

      • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

        November 18, 2016 at 10:14

        So this is what the game will be like in VR

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief Argonian

          November 18, 2016 at 10:15

          NEE SIES

          Reply

          • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

            November 18, 2016 at 10:25

            Hahahahaha

  25. Ottokie

    November 18, 2016 at 10:16

    I am going full Avo here, be warned!

    https://i.makeagif.com/media/8-22-2015/BgBrsR.gif

    Reply

    • Ottokie

      November 18, 2016 at 10:17

      Oh crap I did not see the end. Delete this fast !

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief Argonian

        November 18, 2016 at 10:18

        FFS OTTO

        Reply

        • Ottokie

          November 18, 2016 at 10:20

          My bad

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief Argonian

            November 18, 2016 at 10:22

            At least I was online to delete it

          • Ottokie

            November 18, 2016 at 10:22

            I would have called you xD

          • Admiral Chief Argonian

            November 18, 2016 at 10:23

            At least I would have taken the call

      • HvR

        November 18, 2016 at 10:19

        Yes the end is what is wrong with that

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief Argonian

          November 18, 2016 at 10:19

          The end is the normal part actually

          Reply

      • Admiral Chief Argonian

        November 18, 2016 at 10:19

        “Did not see the end”………..in a dick article………..really?

        Reply

      • HvR

        November 18, 2016 at 10:22

        So you only get +1 points and not +2

        Reply

      • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

        November 18, 2016 at 10:26

        Oh cock!

        Reply

        • Ottokie

          November 18, 2016 at 10:27

          Oh cock would have been the least of my problems.

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief Argonian

            November 18, 2016 at 11:12

            What a tit

  26. konfab

    November 18, 2016 at 10:16

    It would only be consensual if you could had to explicitly do something to open the cloaca.

    Otherwise this is just pure rape culture.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief Argonian

      November 18, 2016 at 10:16

      Valid point

      Reply

  27. Matthew Figueira

    November 18, 2016 at 10:20

    • Andre Fourie

      November 18, 2016 at 10:21

      XD

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

      November 18, 2016 at 10:26

      LOL!

      Reply

  28. Bruce Bielie

    November 18, 2016 at 10:21

    Come again? No!!!! Broforce is like one of those instant classics! What balls up is this?

    Reply

  29. HvR

    November 18, 2016 at 10:22

    Very disappointed in the lack of cultural diversity and it sets an unrealistic expectation on teenage boys to look a certain way.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief Argonian

      November 18, 2016 at 10:22

      Also free marketing to the “make schlong bigger” adverts

      Disgraceful

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief Argonian

      November 18, 2016 at 10:25

      Well that killed the convo

      Reply

      • HvR

        November 18, 2016 at 10:30

        LOL, right in the PC bunghole

        Reply

    • Zoe Hawkins

      November 18, 2016 at 10:36

      agree – not everyone can put a police outfit on their wang and be comfy. 😛

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief Argonian

        November 18, 2016 at 11:12

      • HvR

        November 18, 2016 at 15:40

        I actually needed to retract the part of my comment regarding cultural diversity as I see in the Let’s Play video that their is a random spread between circumcised and uncircumcised dicks.
        It was not clear from Alessandro’s video

        Reply

      • HvR

        November 18, 2016 at 15:43

        PS – black bow tie on a penis … classy as fuck

        Reply

  30. Andre Fourie

    November 18, 2016 at 10:22

    Okay we need a new article. I had about as much dicking around as I can take for one day.

    Reply

  31. Pieter Kruger

    November 18, 2016 at 10:29

    Are they TRYING to become the Wierd Al Yankovic of developers….?

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0

      November 18, 2016 at 10:32

      hehe Yank

      Reply

  32. Craig "CrAiGiSh" Dodd

    November 18, 2016 at 11:49

    What the actual fuck ….

    Reply

  33. Sageville

    November 18, 2016 at 12:31

    These unrealistic male body expectations have gotten out of hand….

    Reply

  34. Sageville

    November 18, 2016 at 13:41

    I’m just giggling about how they must have developed the sound effects….

    Reply

  35. Graeme Selvan

    November 18, 2016 at 15:33

    WTF

    Reply

  36. 40 Insane Frogs

    November 18, 2016 at 18:52

    Dear god… what is this?

    Reply

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