Home Gaming I Am Jesus Christ is a “realistic” simulator game that will allow you to Feed the poor, heal the sick and banish Satan

I Am Jesus Christ is a “realistic” simulator game that will allow you to Feed the poor, heal the sick and banish Satan

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Jesus (2)

Jesus! Arguably the first chronicles of a superhero, the bible is basically the original comic book minus the fancy pictures. Starring the son of an omniscient creator of the universe, Jesus has all the hallmarks of a caped crusader that set the benchmark for fiction over the centuries to come: An exotic array of powers chalked up to miracles, a good heart and his own sense of style that set him apart from the flock. He totally had a cape.

There’s been no shortage of video games starring the Super-Messiah over the years (And a disgusting lack of games starring that other fella Brian who is not the Messiah but a very naughty boy), but few have attempted to put a realistic spin on the man of miracles. Realistic gameplay such as healing the sick, feeding the hungry and going toe to toe with the almighty Satan in the very depths of hell as you toss bolts of pure Christianity at a demon that looks like it’s still pissed off that it got beat in a rock-off by Tenacious D.

Here’s the first trailer for it, oh true believers:

“I am Jesus Christ” is a realistic simulator game inspired by stories from the New Testament of the Bible. Get into old times and follow the same path of Jesus Christ 2,000 years ago. Game is covering the period from Baptizing of Jesus Christ and to Resurrection. Have you ever wondered to be like Him – one of the most privileged and powerful people in the world?

Jesus (1)

Well alright then. According to developer SimulaM, this simulator will allow you to perform around 30 miracles, although none of them will help you shake the feeling that you’re watching the equivalent of a CSI: Miami episode on video games. Or a low budget Doctor Strange virtual reality game.

Last Updated: December 9, 2019

33 Comments

  1. So…many…things…vying…to…be…said…!!!

    Reply

    • Pariah

      December 9, 2019 at 10:00

      Wololo.

      Reply

      • HvR

        December 9, 2019 at 11:15

        ^^^^
        Comment reply of the week

        Reply

  2. Pariah

    December 9, 2019 at 10:01

    Holy crap.

    Reply

  3. HairyEwok

    December 9, 2019 at 10:01

    Wait so if the devil looks like the one from Tenacious D then the almighty in the game is Jack Black?

    Reply

    • Pariah

      December 9, 2019 at 10:01

      This is not the greatest game in the world…

      Reply

      • Dresden

        December 9, 2019 at 10:01

        This is just a tribute. Preferably lamb, no vegetables.

        Reply

        • Pariah

          December 9, 2019 at 10:36

          Does mint sauce count as a vegetable?

          Reply

        • Pariah

          December 9, 2019 at 10:36

          Does mint sauce count as a vegetable?

          Reply

      • Dresden

        December 9, 2019 at 10:01

        This is just a tribute. Preferably lamb, no vegetables.

        Reply

  4. Yozzie

    December 9, 2019 at 10:01

    “Jesus! Arguably the first chronicles of a superhero, the bible is basically the original comic book minus the fancy pictures.”

    the catholic church would like to know your location

    Reply

    • Dresden

      December 9, 2019 at 10:36

      Are you kidding me. I bet you the pope will be hosting his own multiplayer server!

      Reply

    • The D

      December 9, 2019 at 11:16

    • Dresden

      December 9, 2019 at 10:36

      Are you kidding me. I bet you the pope will be hosting his own multiplayer server!

      Reply

    • Pariah

      December 9, 2019 at 12:50

      *clicks decline*

      Reply

  5. Yozzie

    December 9, 2019 at 10:01

    I know the first thing I’m doing in game!

    https://media2.giphy.com/media/l2JdWLBjqum1TPWww/source.gif

    Reply

    • Dresden

      December 9, 2019 at 10:01

      Weekly subscription based gaming. Eat your heart out EA!

      Reply

      • Pariah

        December 9, 2019 at 10:01

        Are walking on water and rising from the dead considered “surprise mechanics”, and how much do they cost?

        Reply

        • Yozzie

          December 9, 2019 at 10:01

          Water walking potion is lvl 60 unless you are a death knight

          Reply

          • Pariah

            December 9, 2019 at 10:01

            But don’t shaman get that at lvl 20?

          • Yozzie

            December 9, 2019 at 10:36

            Shamans aren’t real. The bible said so

          • Pariah

            December 9, 2019 at 10:36

            But priests use stoneskin totems all the time…

          • Yozzie

            December 9, 2019 at 10:36

            Ohhhhh…that’s how the foreskin mixup began!

          • Pariah

            December 9, 2019 at 10:36

            Actually can’t stop laughing. XD

          • Pariah

            December 9, 2019 at 10:36

            Actually can’t stop laughing. XD

          • Dresden

            December 9, 2019 at 10:36

            Come to think of it, the multiplication of fish is basically the Conjure Food spell.

      • Yozzie

        December 9, 2019 at 10:01

        And the best part. It’s VAT and TAX free!

        Reply

        • Pariah

          December 9, 2019 at 10:01

          Not if you use that as an abbreviation…

          Reply

    • HvR

      December 9, 2019 at 11:16

  6. SagatatiaRZA

    December 9, 2019 at 11:42

    You guys should research Playway. Very dodgy business…

    Reply

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