PETA’s guide to playing Animal Crossing can be safely ignored for the rubbish propoganda that it is

I’m an optimist when it comes to everything in life, and even in these trying times I still believe that tomorrow will be worth waiting for. The current global situation may be tense, but hey at least there’s a silver lining to the impending lockdown! A chance to play more video games! If you’re looking for something utterly wholesome to try out, you can’t do much better than Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

Nintendo’s latest return to its delightful island of critters is mesmerising stuff, able to take a number of worries off your mind as you create your own virtual utopia. There’s a number of ways to play the game, but it’s your way that matters the most. That and the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals can get stuffed, as their latest attempt to remain relevant while simultaneously giving proper animal rescue groups a bad name isn’t even worth hyperlinking to.

PETA’s latest stunt is a walkthrough that can be safely tossed into the bin where it belongs. There’s nothing wrong with being vegan, but even the staunchest believer in a meat-free life would probably order a T-Bone steak before following these “tips”. According to PETA, pretty much every activity available in Animal Crossing: New Horizons is verboten. Thinking of doing some fishing? “Fishing isn’t vegan! You shouldn’t fish in real life, so you shouldn’t fish in the game,” PETA wrote while presumably asking for people to please think about the fish.

Want to start an insect museum? Shame on you! “Just as fish don’t belong in tanks, bugs don’t belong in tiny cases in a museum for other villagers to gawk at,” PETA added while trying to hide the fact that 81% of the animals sent to their last chance resort are allegedly euthanized.

Your island should be a place where wildlife is free to live without being captured and exploited in a museum.

According to PETA, the following activities should be strictly ignored. Just like common sense when they went to court to fight for a monkey who they thought legally owned the copyright to its own selfie I crap thee not:

• Digging for clams
• Engaging with hermit crabs
• Not eating vegan food on your island
• Building a doghouse

Here’s my favourite part from PETA’s page on Animal Crossing. Within the franchise, its generally accepted and forgiven that series mascot Tom Nook is pretty much exploiting you for his own gain. That being said, should you feel any malice towards Nook for his subtle actions? Nope, because he’s a victim of circumstance:

Tom Nook is a tanooki, a racoon dog. Racoon dogs are often killed their fur. Tom Nook’s family may have been beaten, anally electrocuted to death, gassed, or skinned alive. Cut him some slack.

I’m not saying that isn’t true, but way to horrify people wanting to escape from this world and deal with a capitalist racoon dog. PETA’s entire goal is to spread the message of a vegan lifestyle, which isn’t bad but is also the equivalent of consulting a butcher on how to remove a tattoo via limb severing methods.

Feel free to ignore everything PETA has to say, rather pay attention to responsible and more compassionate organisations such as The Vegan Society if you’re looking to change up your lifestyle.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.

Last Updated: March 24, 2020