Man, I tells ya, anyone who thinks this job is easy deserves to be thrown into a volcano. While our ground crew has been covering Germany, the rest of us have stayed behind to hold the fort. I’m not complaining mind you, but I am most certainly in need of a weekend, after spending it last week prepping the site for all the Gamescom content ahead. Anyway, enough whinging from me. Let’s get this show on the road!
Best Story
There’s been a lot of talk regarding Rise Of The Tomb Raider as an Xbox One exclusive. On the one hand, you have Microsoft making an effort to have a stronger line-up of games for their system, while on the other hand you have gamers who are a tad bit angry that they’re being left out in the cold thanks to that decision.
It’s a tricky subject to tackle, make no mistake, but Rise Of The Tomb Raider won’t be exclusive for long. Which hopefully means, hopefully, means that we can all just get along and be friends.
Worst Story
I genuinely can’t think of any news that is actually, properly terrible this week. You could argue Rise Of The Tomb Raider again, but that one has already been ironed out. So yeah…sunshine and hugs I guess. Everything is just fine! Nothing could possibly go wrong!
Best ION Header
When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a pair of Black Widow prop guns. Which is something that may be way, way out of my karmic alignment.
Most Comments
Well Al wins this award easily this week, as just about everybody had something to say about Rise Of The Tomb Raider and the Xbox One deal. And when I mean everyone, I mean everyone.
Least Comments
Much like your wallet, Skylanders is indeed getting smaller. And amidst all the news from the Xbox press conference, this exclusive got buried, something that parents are most likely happy about as they probably can’t afford to take out a second mortgage to buy even more Skylander toys for their kids.
Batman Of The Week
It is with great humility that I accept and cherish my second August win as the weekly Batman. No, that’s a lie. SUCK IT EVERYBODY WHO ISN’T ME!
Header Image Of The Week
We’re mixing things up a bit this week. In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been bought out by Activision, Call Of Duty and Xbox for the Gamescom week, which has allowed us to all retire in quiet dignity on our massive yachts and private islands in return for a few 11/10 reviews. Hell, a guy can dream.
What this actually means however, is that we have a banner on each header image related to Gamescom, that features COD dude. And thanks to his placement, that has resulted in some unforeseen hilarious images where COD dude stalks everybody from Evolve to The Witcher 3. Go and pick your favourite one out. Because they’re all winners to us.
Comment Of The Week
I’d like to give everybody who entered a decent pun into the recent Shadow Of Mordor post this award. But that would require me to develop human emotions and sentiment, so instead I’m going to give the honour to our Admiral Chief Beta Tester for this gem regarding a filthy hobbit that he needs to give up:
I heard that Talion is wanted for first degree Mordor
Last Updated: August 15, 2014
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:35
Heh, glad to see those puns were not in vain!
VampyreSquirrel
August 15, 2014 at 12:45
Grats Admiral Chief of many names.
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:46
Heh, I play many games.
HvR - Still dislikes Random.or
August 15, 2014 at 13:27
One of these days we are going to see Admiral Chief Kardashian
Sith JJ
August 15, 2014 at 13:32
That would make my day
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 13:42
Luckily Martha already took one for the team
Alien Emperor Trevor
August 15, 2014 at 13:55
You missed Admiral Chief Katy Perry Sim?
HvR - Still dislikes Random.or
August 15, 2014 at 12:47
Bet you did Nazi it coming.
Kensei Seraph
August 15, 2014 at 13:07
*Smashes a lionfish on a stick over HvR’s head*
Sith JJ
August 15, 2014 at 13:08
No lionfish deserves that. 😉
Hammersteyn
August 15, 2014 at 12:53
Yeah, take that @disqus_dQR6yNlVbg:disqus
Kensei Seraph
August 15, 2014 at 13:02
Hey, it was a good pun.
But if I let it go then others will start bad punning.
Look at HvR’s comment to see what I mean.
Now excuse me while I fetch the lionfish on a stick.
Hammersteyn
August 15, 2014 at 13:05
hahaha please do
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:35
Oh, and for those who were keeping track, I’m done with the beta test that is BF4. And my professional (bwahaha) opinion is that it needs some more work!
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 12:42
Or they should just forget about it and move on, spending more time on a better game.
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:43
I got it for that Origin game time thing, game is free for 7 days, finished campaign in 5hrs
:/
Norm
August 15, 2014 at 12:43
#awkward
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:43
Indeed
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 12:43
Sounds about right.
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:44
I started again last night to see if I missed anything, promptly stopped again after an hour and decided ENOUGH.
I would have been super p!$$ed if I paid any money for that. What really stumps me is the good reviews it got!
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 12:45
I… did that with A:CM this week. Only lasted 25 minutes.
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:47
Eina.
I played the game end to end, so got the whole experience of the SP. And, well, ummm, just, yeah…
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 12:48
I finished it long ago, thought: “How bad can it be, mayhaps I just over reacted.” – I didn’t.
Kromas of City17
August 15, 2014 at 13:03
So are you to blame for me getting into a chopper and it promptly crashing cause you can not fly? 😛
Also BF4 free gametime was not for new players it was designed for the veterans who really just needed a week of camping and sniping noobs standing still in a BF game.
Worth it. 🙂
Sith JJ
August 15, 2014 at 13:04
*and to call others noobs and badmouth their mothers. 😛
Spaffy
August 15, 2014 at 13:09
It was a slaughterfest 😛
Kromas of City17
August 15, 2014 at 13:21
At one stage a guy called me a hacker cause every time he sniped me I came to kill him. “You must be hacking cause how else do you know where I am the whole time”
Ill never tell them the truth about the kill cam and why you should switch positions constantly while playing recon.
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 13:43
No, that is Mossel, he is TERRIBLE at piloting. I’m a natural choppa-pilot!
Kromas of City17
August 15, 2014 at 13:54
Coming into BF3 after extensive DayZ play made me a poor chopper pilot. I would get into a chopper and start the rotors up and wait for full torque before lifting off completely forgetting BF choppers are arcadey. These days I rock with both types of choppers.
Rainman
August 15, 2014 at 12:39
Should have sent the COD dude to stalk the Hackers.
Sir Rants A Lot: On Pandora
August 15, 2014 at 12:40
Wow… That comment… Just… Wow dude. Dit was soos hoe ek my biltong nie like nie. Droog….
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:40
Gaan lees die res jou muppet!
😛
Sir Rants A Lot: On Pandora
August 15, 2014 at 12:41
Whatever droog biltong man
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:41
Amper tyd vir skaap! NomNomNom spitbraaaaaaaaaai
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 12:42
O_o
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:43
Indeed, spitbraai at the office today!
Norm
August 15, 2014 at 12:43
On my way.
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:45
Bring a knife, we are eating off the braai, no plates allowed
Norm
August 15, 2014 at 12:47
Best way to enjoy a spitbraai.
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:48
I have a “special” knife for meat. It has cut nothing else but meat in its entire existence. Never leaves my side, you never know when there is a surprise braai or biltong opportunity
Kensei Seraph
August 15, 2014 at 12:59
It never leads your side…
It has cut nothing but meat…
Humans are meat…
You have cut someone with the knife…
You are a crazy serial killer…
Serial sounds like cereal…
The knife has cut cereal…
Cereal is not meat…
You have lied to us all!
Spaffy
August 15, 2014 at 13:10
How come you become smarter the later the week but everyone else stupiter.
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 13:13
*More stupid. 😛
Spaffy
August 15, 2014 at 13:14
You see my point?
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 13:15
Just had to make that comment.
Spaffy
August 15, 2014 at 13:15
*had lol
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 13:16
Clearly I saw that to late
Spaffy
August 15, 2014 at 13:16
Pot calling kettle black or something?
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 13:17
Lasist. 😛
Sith JJ
August 15, 2014 at 13:21
*too
(I think Spaffy is onto something)
Sith JJ
August 15, 2014 at 13:14
I think he’s referring to a stupidity the size of Jupiter.
Spaffy
August 15, 2014 at 13:15
Oh you 😛
Sith JJ
August 15, 2014 at 13:13
I resent that. My stupidity never waivers.
Spaffy
August 15, 2014 at 13:14
Yea, that’s true.
Sith JJ
August 15, 2014 at 13:15
I’m allowed to say that. Not you.
Kensei Seraph
August 15, 2014 at 15:55
I also become more smarter the later it is in the day.
Sir Rants A Lot: On Pandora
August 15, 2014 at 12:50
STAHP
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:53
Pizza + skapie + pizza = epic sammich
Sir Rants A Lot: On Pandora
August 15, 2014 at 12:53
FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 13:04
This is gonna happen.
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 12:44
Is there beer?
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:45
I work for a liquor company, so that is an affirmative
Lord Chaos
August 15, 2014 at 12:46
See you in 5.
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:47
😉
Hammersteyn
August 15, 2014 at 12:54
I got stuck at Teazers
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 12:54
I remember you told me
Sith JJ
August 15, 2014 at 12:58
Isn’t it spelled Teasers? Or do they taze you for some extra erotic pleasure?
Hammersteyn
August 15, 2014 at 13:05
I should ask them
Spaffy
August 15, 2014 at 13:17
Sounds fun 🙂
Sir Rants A Lot: On Pandora
August 15, 2014 at 12:50
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Sith JJ
August 15, 2014 at 12:56
Is this because Admiral is now a member of staff? You scratch his back and then you let him know what he has to scratch?
*runs
Admiral Chief Dovahkiin
August 15, 2014 at 13:44
I ain’t touching Brenda with a 40 foot pole!
Rinceable
August 15, 2014 at 14:01
Oh Poor Trevor! Damn you @Admiral_Chief:disqus think of his feelings!
Pieter Smal
August 16, 2014 at 07:55
No cabbage/salad this week? Bloody carnivores!