Home The good the bad and the ugly of the past week – 10 April 2015

The good the bad and the ugly of the past week – 10 April 2015

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AWWWWWWWWWW

Hello random citizen, what a pleasant surprise. I have a favour to ask, one that shouldn’t be refused – at least not if you value those kneecaps you make use of everyday. I want you to read the following article aloud like a bedtime story to your co-workers. Go on now, I’m waiting. You’d better do it… or else.

See how easy it is to ignore random threats over the Internet? Good.

Best Stories

I definitely never asked for this, but I am stupidly excited for the newly announced Deus Ex sequel. Bar the terrible boss fights, Human Revolution was fantastic. I can only hope that Mankind Divided fills those large shoes. I like free stuff, you like free stuff… everybody wins! Don’t forget we’re giving away a copy of Mortal Kombat X for the Xbox One. GET OVER THERE!

Lastly, a video that will hopefully make you smile. WINK WINK!

Worst Stories

I hope you don’t mind starting games from scratch. Sadly, that’s exactly what you’ll need to do now in NBA 2K14 with their servers going offline.

What do sticks and carrots have in common? YouTube apparently, because they may be offering their creators more stick than carrot. Creators have to participate in Youtube’s new subscription offering or they will have all their videos set to private. What’s up with that?

Random Stories

Well, you want random, you’ve got random! Here’s a game that punts itself has having hot naked gay cars, big swollen exposed gear sticks, and oozing exhaust pipes. And it’s safe for work. Whaaaaaaaat?

I’m throwing this story here because the header has a certain someone riding a bear carefully hidden in the header image. Also, the headline makes me giggle constantly.

Best ION Header

lasagne

I don’t care what any of you say. Lasagne <3!

Most Comments

GTA V is going to span seven discs when it finally releases for PC. That apparently, is worth 152 comments. Sheesh… imagine we told you lot how big the install would be were it on CD, or worse, floppy disk!

Least Comments

You know what nobody cares about? Mario Kart’s 200cc or Pac-Man in Minecraft it seems. Both articles, written by Geoff, only accumulated a pitiful 3 comments apiece. It doesn’t matter though because…

Batman Of the Week

^07202E9AD5F67012B52BDF5D3E861C529538964B3B397F4495^pimgpsh_fullsize_distr

Poor Darryn. He was so sure he was Batman this week that he went ahead and sent me the above sketch for inclusion in this article. Sorry D, but Geoff is actually Batman. The image above now belongs to him, best you hand over the rights to it this instant!

Cabbage of the Week

leek-and-cabbage-soup

I’m back baby! This award will probably be mine forever, unless every other member of Lazygamer happens to fall off the face of the planet.

Header of the Week

EFF

Wow Darryn, I had no idea Julius was such an avid Playstation gamer! Look at that concentration – he is clearly playing Bloodborne.

ME-mirrors-edge

Honourable member Zoe also gets a mention for photoshopping a header that didn’t make our eyes bleed. Good job!

Comment of the Week

Our favourite commenter this week was easily Ali G. There were far too many to choose from, so here is one of his most recent:

Fittest game none hof me boys iz playin iz gots
to be UNO on facebook. whun dat +4 card comes down I wanna just bust da
tommy in some frackers batty. da trills da excitement lyk drag racin
hof da A1 on da saturday night naffink feel so heavy not evun me Julie’s
babylons

Bonus Content

I haven’t watched this for years… be sure to watch all the sequels!

And here’s some NFSW love from Darryn:

(Header Source)

Last Updated: April 10, 2015

69 Comments

  1. You have two most comments…

    Reply

    • hairyknees

      April 10, 2015 at 12:37

      YOU SAW NOTHING!

      Reply

      • Lord Chaos

        April 10, 2015 at 12:39

        Now the whole world will know…

        Reply

        • Ottokie

          April 10, 2015 at 12:40

          1+1= Squirrel !!!

          Reply

          • Lord Chaos

            April 10, 2015 at 12:54

            Too much dota makes you the mostest.

          • Ottokie

            April 10, 2015 at 12:56

            Shotests fired

          • Lord Chaos

            April 10, 2015 at 12:59

            Lol.

            And with that my week comes to an end.
            Have a good one all

          • Admiral Chief asked for this

            April 10, 2015 at 13:07

            Enjoy dude

          • RinceThis

            April 10, 2015 at 13:09

            Be safe!

          • Ranting Raptor

            April 10, 2015 at 14:35

            HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!!!!

  2. ReaperOfSquirrels

    April 10, 2015 at 12:36

    I still don’t know what he said in that comment!

    Also, that Batman sketch is awesome! You’re a better Batman Darryn, don’t let Geoff tell you otherwise!

    Reply

    • The D

      April 10, 2015 at 12:39

      He’s currently gloating about it. The bastard.

      Reply

  3. Ryanza

    April 10, 2015 at 12:38

    Comment of the week goes to Geoffrey Tim:

    Remember, the game will be available through GOG.com without DRM. Don’t support DRM. The Witcher 3 is coming. (Am I doing this right?)

    Yes Geof, there were no numbers involved so you doing it right.

    Reply

  4. Admiral Chief asked for this

    April 10, 2015 at 12:38

    Right, so the fact that the writers on Lagz actually give out this award to this character, and that this character only came into existence yesterday….must mean that one of the writers…is the terri-spell-critter!

    Reply

    • Lord Chaos

      April 10, 2015 at 12:40

      Agreed.

      Reply

    • Geoffrey Tim

      April 10, 2015 at 12:40

      Nah, It’s just on-point Ali G. Been there for a week, and it makes me giggle.

      Reply

      • Ottokie

        April 10, 2015 at 12:41

        I had to use google translate from ghetto to English to know that he was talking about UNO.

        Reply

        • ReaperOfSquirrels

          April 10, 2015 at 12:59

          I think Google Translate needs a “Ali G to English” option.

          Reply

      • Admiral Chief asked for this

        April 10, 2015 at 12:41

        I DON’T BELIEVE YOU

        Reply

      • Umar

        April 10, 2015 at 14:16

        Nails it completely!

        Reply

    • RinceThis

      April 10, 2015 at 12:59

      What you said!

      Reply

  5. Ali G

    April 10, 2015 at 12:41

    Fank yous, but I aint in hit fe da fame an’ da fortune, I iz just tryin to keep hit real. Big up Yaself, WEST SIDE

    Reply

    • The D

      April 10, 2015 at 12:45

      East side is de bes’ side.

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      April 10, 2015 at 12:46

      28 for life yo!

      Reply

    • RinceThis

      April 10, 2015 at 13:00

      Getting Matty to don a new persona to increase hits by irking people is a new Lazygamer low. I feel shame…

      Reply

      • hairyknees

        April 10, 2015 at 13:01

        I wish I had the skill and lingo to pose as Ali G 😛

        Reply

        • RinceThis

          April 10, 2015 at 13:06

          You might not, but your hair does!

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief asked for this

            April 10, 2015 at 13:07

            Bwahahahahaha

          • hairyknees

            April 10, 2015 at 13:08

            Bah he wears a pimping beanie 😛

    • HvR

      April 10, 2015 at 13:56

      Wicked. The G represense the Berkshire Massif sho’ing all the batty boys whos indahouse. Kep on Keep’ing real with homeboy Bilbo. Jungle is massive!!

      http://i.imgur.com/pC5Mjk9.gif

      Reply

      • Ali G

        April 10, 2015 at 14:29

        Aiii, me an’ me bruva Ricky C we be rollin into Mordor lickaty split

        Reply

  6. Hammersteyn

    April 10, 2015 at 12:46

  7. Admiral Chief asked for this

    April 10, 2015 at 12:47

    COLONIAL HANDS!

    Reply

  8. oVg

    April 10, 2015 at 12:47

    RESPECT, dem facebook full of muppets

    Reply

  9. Ryanza

    April 10, 2015 at 12:50

    Seeing as Ali G won comment of the week. I have to give it up to the real G.

    Reply

    • Ottokie

      April 10, 2015 at 12:52

      • Ryanza

        April 10, 2015 at 13:00

        Pootie Tang was the shit. You don’t know what you talking about. Ok granded Louis CK didn’t like the end result, studios turned it into something against his vision, it still made me laugh.

        Reply

        • Ottokie

          April 10, 2015 at 13:03

          I have actually watched it 😛 when i was but a wee old lad.

          Reply

          • Ryanza

            April 10, 2015 at 13:05

            Watch it now with some weed in your system.

            IDK why JB Smooth just makes me laugh, loved him in GTA 5. But there were a lot of people in that movie who I just find funny.

          • Ottokie

            April 10, 2015 at 13:14

            Don’t support drugs…The Police are coming!

          • Ryanza

            April 10, 2015 at 13:20

            Drugs are made in a lab ask your pharmacist. Weed is a plant that grows from mother earth and stops cancer growth with no negative effects on the body system.

            It’s time to legalize weed. There are important medical reasons.

          • Ali G

            April 10, 2015 at 14:23

            Agree, legalisin erbal remedy make hit easia to
            purchase an’ smoke, plus da bruva don’t need to worry about gettin’ da
            job cause ya dole moolar be enuff fe da bag or 3 da week

          • Da guest

            April 10, 2015 at 14:32

            Weed might not be a dug as far as the literal meaning goes, but that doesnt mean its harmless.
            No negative effects on the body apart from the brain:
            Pro longed and excessive use will make you lazy, content to only give 50% to everything (apart from video games). It will make you an insufferable know it all even though you really know very little. Your desire to achieve success will only go so far as to cover your weed, munchies, rent and gaming hobby, thats it.

          • Ryanza

            April 10, 2015 at 18:14

            You need to update your information. Read medical studies. And not he paid for studies that’s meant to spread an agenda.

            I read the weed and cancer research. And yes no harmful effects on the body. I’m not talking crazy shit like you, lazy, 50% of everything, negative effect on the brain, yeah old wives tales. Weed is even helping with neurological disorders. So there needs to be more research done. But governments for example will pay for shit research reports because they want to spread that lazy brain disorder agenda. When you read this type of propaganda that you comment suggests, I can be sure that the research conflicts with the report.

            Anyway with a reply like that. Yeah. pointless to waste my time on idiots. It’s funny how your argument is that I don’t know shit. But I do know shit.

          • Sk3tz0

            April 10, 2015 at 18:25

            Old wives tale, Come round to my place i got 34 yr old stoner housemate that works as a waiter, has done nothing with his life but smoke weed since he was 15 and tries to excel in videogames and watches movies, the manchilds done nothing but be fking drain on society, only works enough to score dope, beer and fast food. Your conspiracy theories are bullshit as I’ve seen living proof what weed does.

          • Ryanza

            April 10, 2015 at 20:01

            Reality check. The weed did not do that to him. His life goals are just different to others. If he is happy with his life, excepts his life for what it is, who are we to judge.

            I am surprised at the amount of people who are more aware about weed now a days, doesn’t have to be a smoker, and these examples you people are giving are not the case with majority of smokers, from what I have noticed.

            Don’t use one man’s life decisions as an example for all. You can’t group weed smokers into that box because it’s just not the case.

            As it stands, weed is a non harmful plant that slows down cancer growth and in some cancers stops cancer growth. Weed also regulates the body’s system. There are people claiming weed helps with neurological disorders but that’s not medically proven yet. It needs more independent research.

            Don’t let a couch potato be your base line of information about weed. 10-1 the couch potato will still be a couch potato without the weed. Why not blame the couch. It sounds like a really comfortable couch.

            And it’s not conspiracy theories. It is independent medical research. I have read through two independent medical researches and they basically same the same damn thing. I have also read through different paid for research and all the time, who pays for the research, the report will reflect there interests.

            Just because I said it, you want to believe it’s crazy talk. But I have read through hundreds of pages of research, both sides of the arguments, I know what the fuck I am talking about. Using one person as an example to prove it’s effect on all, ya, that’s crazy talk.

          • Da guest

            April 10, 2015 at 23:48

            Im not arguing the medical values of weed, it is useful and should be used in cancer treatment and managing the symptoms of that, among other illnesses, including some neurological ones, yes i can also read and have done so on this topic, even though you assume im an idiot an therefore could not have possibly done so.

            But you are being naive and turning a blind eye if you assume that there are no negative effects. I have not only seen it first hand but experienced it myself. I used to smoke a lot when i was younger, and I naturally knew many other similar people. The pattern and behaviour is always the same, as I mentioned above.

            Using weed as a medical remedy is good and should be done so in a controlled way. But excessive recreational use and abuse leads to adverse effects, laziness, contentedness, lack of desire to achieve etc. The basic traits of a stoner.
            I have no problem with occasional use for enjoyment, but constant use does affect you negatively, as is with pretty much anything?

            Your conspiracy theories and pointing fingers at governments doesnt do well for your argument, you do know paranoia is also a side effect of excessive use?

            But you wont even entertain a single thing ive said, because one of the other effects is this absolute surety that you are right about everything, and everyone else are just sheep and idiots who are being blindly led by the nasty governments out to get you and your happiness.

          • Darren Peach

            April 11, 2015 at 02:34

            How did this topic end up on a gaming website ?

          • Darren Peach

            April 11, 2015 at 02:37

            Weed is benign compared to booze. If you want a real party, Drop a few Es and a bag of shrooms and hit the nearest Psy Trance floor. LOL.

          • Ryanza

            April 11, 2015 at 02:58

            When I say no negative effect on the body I mean that there are no negative effects on the body. The THC does more good and helps the body’s system. The dopamine released in the brain is of small amounts. That means you can smoke yourself miff everyday till you are old and those dopamine levels will never get lethal. Weed has zero addictive properties.

            The issues you bring up are not effects of weed. Those issues are choices people make. For instance, alcohol has a negative effect on the body, mainly the liver. I know people who have drank everything away. I can not now say that I nor others will start drinking their lives away because some people have chosen to do that. When I drink I will not be drinking my life away, yeah, drinking my night away but that’s a different story.

            What was the other thing. Governments paying for weed testing. Do you really think that there has been zero governments paid for research. Now I’m not even that stupid. Not worth explaining how research is needed when making or repelling laws. But you want to use a persons right to choose as an effect of weed, a non harmful, non addictive, plant. Ya, bullshit when I read it.

            If weed can slow down cancer growth and in some cancers actually stop cancer growth. Then fuck the couch potato. Cancer is a world wide problem that effects the lives of many, many, people. And you want to use the choices of a couch potato as an example against weed.

            Legalizing weed can come with an age restriction, 21 should be ok. Weed will also create a tax revenue for our gov. And most importantly, weed will help medically without negative side effects, that’s so prevalent in drugs.

          • Ali G

            April 11, 2015 at 07:16

            Awight listun yous both got heavy points but ryanza ya da dong pulla so yous whak.

          • Ryanza

            April 11, 2015 at 08:36

            Ryanza you be dick pulling so you is whack? Ok.

          • Ali G

            April 11, 2015 at 09:18

            Actually just saying you’re a wanker.

          • Ryanza

            April 11, 2015 at 09:23

            Thank you. I hope you feel better now.

          • Mark Treloar

            April 11, 2015 at 08:54

            Smoking causes cancer. There is your negative effect. Everyone happy now?

          • Ryanza

            April 11, 2015 at 09:12

            Smoking weed does not cause cancer. Smoking cigs puts you at a high risk for getting cancer. Smoking cigs and weed, the high risk is still there. Smoking weed alone, no cancer. The tar from weed is not the same as the tar from cigs. Can’t recall the details but the weed tar does small amounts of good in the lungs. To reduce tar, use vaps. But the point is, weed tar will not cause cancer. cigs will kill you. Weed won’t.

          • Mark Treloar

            April 11, 2015 at 10:26

            Why do you smoke?

          • Ryanza

            April 11, 2015 at 10:38

            Why do I smoke what?

          • Mark Treloar

            April 11, 2015 at 10:58

            Really? you need me to answer that?

          • Ryanza

            April 11, 2015 at 11:09

            Yes.

      • RinceThis

        April 10, 2015 at 13:01

        HAHAHAH!

        Reply

    • Ali G

      April 10, 2015 at 13:10

      Dat masta blasta narr gangsta e iz naffink but da posa

      Reply

  10. Ottokie

    April 10, 2015 at 13:02

    Microsoft Cross-play in a nutshell *refresh for pic

    Reply

    • Mossel

      April 10, 2015 at 13:24

      hahaha!!! awesome.

      Reply

  11. Greylingad

    April 10, 2015 at 13:12

    KSK… Too much internet…just exactly what did I watch just now?

    Reply

  12. Scruff304

    April 10, 2015 at 13:16

    HA! You said floppy.

    Reply

  13. Kensei Seraph

    April 10, 2015 at 13:24

    After trying to read 6 of Ali G’s comments I gave up and just skipped them entirely.

    Reply

  14. Lardus-Resident Perve

    April 10, 2015 at 13:58

    I believe 2K have turned the servers on for another couple of months for NBA2K14. This is good news for those who did not have offline saves, but not for those like me who did have offline saves and converted them already GRRRRR! I, Resident Perve, approve the ION Header of the week!

    Reply

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