Bugger the originally scheduled plan for today’s gaming-related Friday Debate. It’s time to settle a more important issue, once and for all: Deodorant. I think we can all agree that using the stuff, is good. You’ll find no argument from me regarding people who take a few seconds to actually apply some chemicals to their armpits which help them to not smell like they’ve been run over by an onion truck.
What is up for debate, is the method of application. In today’s society, we have two such ways to get your pits smelling good: A spray-on deodorant which commercials always show being applied to everywhere but your olfactory dispensers beneath your arms, and a stick of concentrated fragrance that you can just roll on.
Personally, I’m a fan of the stick. Not that weird ball-jointed lubricator that you find in shops, but the armpit bar of soap that you can whip out at a moment’s notice. It goes on quick, lasts you a day easy with just one application and it actually lives up to the hype in even the dankiest of weather. Spray-on deodorant however?
That’s just asking for trouble. It requires multiple applications, most guys use too much of it and become walking gas attacks whenever they leave the house thanks to the overpowering musk. It also always leaves your clothing drenched in a nightmare concoction of sweat and chemicals, is bad for the environment and it totally doesn’t see a mob of ladies surround you as they’re driven wild by your sexy man-musk that the adverts try to sell you on.
I did once get cat-called by a pack of pigeons after using Axe, which may be the reason why I’ve sworn off the stuff.
Thing is, some people swear by spray-on deodorant an abhor a speed stick or Old Spice roll-on. How about you then? What’s your preferred method of smelling clean? Is there a magical third alternative? Do you overdo it with the spray and exist as a haze of some trendy market-researched name like “Cool Ice” or “LADIES WILL SEX YOU IF YOU BUY AXE”?
Let us know in the comments below, especially if you prefer stick to spray because clearly that’s the best method for keeping your pits smelling like roses. Clearly.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.
Last Updated: March 15, 2019
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:23
Spray. Also, slow news day eh
Guz
March 15, 2019 at 11:23
Roll on for pits for stink prevention and maybe some cologne to smell nice
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:23
https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/76265295/p-p-p-p-p-p-power.jpg
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:31
Jokes aside, this is by far the best on the market
Gareth Runnalls
March 15, 2019 at 11:31
We have had this debate Darryn… Twice. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4910662fe9576978a6de04ef5ae092597e2843d94b474746009a28fd2949afe8.jpg
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:31
xD
The D
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
We’ll have it a thousand times until you finally realise I’m right.
Gareth Runnalls
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
Dude, I have the patience of a saint and armpits like an Angel, you best believe that you are in for a looooooooooooooooong wait. And when you eventually prove me wrong, I will prez Trump that shit and double down 🙂
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
You have my AXE, I’m with you
Gareth Runnalls
March 15, 2019 at 11:38
Thanks *takes AXE, runs thumb over the sharp edge, hands AXE back* … But I think I’m gonna SOLO this one.
Gareth Runnalls
March 15, 2019 at 11:45
Just kidding! Bro’s before roll on, LETS DO THIS!
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 13:57
CHAAAAAAAARGE
The D
March 15, 2019 at 11:54
Oh it’s on, it’s on. Like a roll-on.
Gareth Runnalls
March 15, 2019 at 11:54
It’s on like a fine chemical mist spray-on!
justlikemo
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
I don’t use either
G8crasha
March 15, 2019 at 11:45
I once read that, at least during man’s earlier years, the female gender were attracted to the male gender’s odour – like so many animals today!
Pariah
March 15, 2019 at 12:01
Not odour, pheromones. They do have an odour, but it’s not the stinky shit that women are attracted to. It’s only one ingredient in that stinky shit.
G8crasha
March 15, 2019 at 12:08
I think you are right…
“All male pheromones are not equally attractive, and some of the myths stem from an understandable confusion over their names. The male pheromone androstenone is not the same as androstenol. Androstenol is the scent produced by fresh male sweat, and is attractive to females. Androstenone is produced by male sweat after exposure to oxygen – i.e. when less fresh – and is perceived as highly unpleasant by females (except during ovulation, when their responses change from ‘negative’ to ‘neutral’)”
Pariah
March 15, 2019 at 12:08
And someone has learned something new today. My job is done. 😀
justlikemo
March 15, 2019 at 12:31
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1e3c7e15388ad4294f887a9ffa46a936422c9cff8e27641e2ab29a6f20013a4f.png
G8crasha
March 15, 2019 at 11:54
Some more life changing questions:
1. Do you wipe back to front, or front to back?
2. Do you shake it after you’ve used it?
3. Should toilet paper be inserted in the holder to pull sheets from the top or to pull sheets from the bottom?
4. Anti-antiperspirant or not?
Any more life altering questions?
G8crasha
March 15, 2019 at 11:54
Some more life changing questions:
1. Do you wipe back to front, or front to back?
2. Do you shake it after you’ve used it?
3. Should toilet paper be inserted in the holder to pull sheets from the top or to pull sheets from the bottom?
4. Anti-antiperspirant or not?
Any more life altering questions?
WhiteRock
March 15, 2019 at 12:52
Sex Panther https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e65648f2c063631c53ea583024e5dfc972d20b573743d2dd319e16dcf6f3b04f.jpg
For the Emperor!
March 15, 2019 at 13:43
“most guys use too much of it and become walking gas attacks” – this pisses me off in the gym lockers. People spraying half a can. It really screws up my sinuses and also brings up some old asthma issues that otherwise do not exists! Ok, that and standing in toxic cigarette smoke while playing pool brings out the asthma. Also, women re-applying their perfume at the desks in an open plan office does the same thing!
When I do not have my Mitchum or a stick close by, I will use a quick spray while holding my breath. Else I prefer the stick or the gel type Mitchum. Sprays just mess with my breathing too much.
Caveshen Rajman
March 15, 2019 at 11:16
When you’re brown, you use both.
Caveshen Rajman
March 15, 2019 at 11:22
Side-note: Can we please talk about how Axe, one of the worst-smelling deodorants in the modern world, has marketed itself unironically as the thing that will make all the women in the world love you, the man who is better than other men, *AND IT SOMEHOW WORKED??????*
Not the part about making you desirable, but rather the fact that it is a successful, decades-long marketing campaign.
How in the everloving heck???
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:23
EGO
Guz
March 15, 2019 at 11:23
Axe should get the axe
The D
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
YOU!
AXE!
WOMEN!
AXE!
SEX!
AXE!
SMELL GOOD!
AXE!
SPRAY IT ON YOUR CHEST!
MORE SEX!
SEEEEEEEEEX!
PoisonedBelial
March 15, 2019 at 11:16
Roll on.
If you only use spray you can get in the fucking sea.
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/64537058/the-cologne-is-strong-with-that-one.jpg
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
https://meme.xyz/uploads/posts/t/l-14005-ghetto-word-of-the-day-is-cologne-aye-bruh-you-think-you-cologne-me-a-dollar.jpg
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/31539817/wanna-smell-my-new-cologne-its-called-chloroform.jpg
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/94/942ec95e107fb3c328c191d0a58faeaa842376e9b73261fa4005d6e988fde6ba.jpg
The Sten
March 15, 2019 at 11:37
I reckon roll on is the best but i cant use it because it ruins t shirts in about a month.
G8crasha
March 15, 2019 at 11:45
1. You smell because of the bacteria lives on your skin, so why would you use a stick that touches your skin and pretty much spreads the bacteria and most probably dirt (dust particles are always settling on us) across your skin. Then, the next day, you use the same stick to put yesterday’s bacteria and dirt back on your skin. So, I’m a spray guy!
2. And, considering I wear men’s fragrances such as Hugo Boss and Paco Rabanne, I have yet to see many if any that come in a stick format, so, yeah, there as well – spray on.
3. Some guys are just generally smelly, even after they apply deodorant, so it is useful to be able to spray it on your clothes, and in the air in your car or office, to help cover your body odour. So, spray works again.
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 11:45
I have solution for smelly guys
HANS
Gr8_Balls_o_Fire
March 18, 2019 at 16:00
You could just use something to wipe off the bacteria from the stick after you use it?
G8crasha
March 18, 2019 at 16:14
True. But extra effort!
Gr8_Balls_o_Fire
March 19, 2019 at 11:11
NO SACRIFICE, NOOOOOO VICTORY
G8crasha
March 15, 2019 at 11:54
Some more life changing questions:
1. Do you wipe back to front, or front to back?
2. Do you shake it after you’ve used it?
3. Should toilet paper be inserted in the holder to pull sheets from the top or to pull sheets from the bottom?
4. Anti-antiperspirant or not?
Any more life altering questions?
Admiral Chief
March 15, 2019 at 12:01
1. “back to front” NEE SIES MAN SAVAGE HOW CAN YOU EVEN MENTION THAT
2. Shake enough
3. As long as it works for you
Pariah
March 15, 2019 at 12:08
Typically instructions are “Shake well BEFORE use”. No use shaking an empty bottle…
Pariah
March 15, 2019 at 12:01
I use spray to smell nice and as a booster during the day.
I use Mitchum gel to get rid of the bacteria that makes sweat stink.
Rollon typically has that residue which is a skin irritant and it prohibits sweating, which is an essential part of body heat regulation. Don’t fuck with your biological process.
Viper_ZA
March 15, 2019 at 12:08
My poison of choice, together with some Issey Miyake of course 😉 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4c7c86a889c489b999d11afc4c6297a51d8471a2a38a8b3bffadbc89ccf0932d.jpg
Pariah
March 15, 2019 at 14:21
Heh, I know some people who could use a few bottles of that.
Pieter Kruger
March 15, 2019 at 12:22
BOTH! This is Africa, just leaving the house to go buy Deo can have you dripping with sweat like a gieter!
RinceThis
March 15, 2019 at 12:37
spray, roll ons are not hygienic.
WhiteRock
March 15, 2019 at 12:52
Sex Panther https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e65648f2c063631c53ea583024e5dfc972d20b573743d2dd319e16dcf6f3b04f.jpg
Skoobaz
March 15, 2019 at 15:17
spray all the way. with the smallest hint of cologne when want to leave an impression, wife out to dinner, that kinda thing..
Nick de Bruyne
March 16, 2019 at 10:04
I tried to use pepper stick on a mugger once. Went terribly.