I promised you last week that I had some big news and you would need to check back today to find out what it was. So, it is with a heavy heart that I must tell you all that I have reached the end of my official tenure with Critical Hit. It has been an incredible four years with this team and as a part of this wonderful community of gamers, geeks and generally awesome people.
I will be emigrating next month, moving off to the US with my husband and kid. I do intend to still occasionally contribute to Critical Hit, so you might still see my byline from time to time. Plus, thanks to social media and all that, you can still follow me and my adventures if you so wish. I hope that this isn’t really goodbye.
As for the team, I just want to say a huge thanks to each and every one of you. To all the new people who joined us from The Movies, it has been a joy to work with you all in the past 7 months. You make our conversations so much more full, and have been an incredible addition to the team. To my favorite Porras Alessandro and Mattstick, (yes, Matthew, I still consider you one of us), thanks for adding new perspectives, food porn and that strangely youthful energy to all that you do.
Darryn, my other wonder twin, it has been a pleasure working with you, and thank you for all the times you defended me from crazy people in LA, brought me coffee and prevented me from committing crimes against pixels. Gavin, thank you for taking a chance on the random token application, and for surprising everyone else by proving you’re not quite as much of an asshole as everyone thinks. And Geoff, I think I’ll miss you most of all. Thank you for pushing me to be a better writer (or just fixing my words so that I already seemed like one), for helping me grow in new roles and for always lending an ear when I needed to rant or vent. You guys are the best team a girl could ask for and I can only hope that I will find colleagues and friends half as awesome as you all when I get to the States.
To every single one of you reading, thank you. Thank you for commenting on my articles over the years, for joining for drinks after rAge, for reaching out on twitter or Facebook, for making me feel like I belonged from day one. This site wouldn’t exist without its readers, and I will miss this awesome community far too much – I promise I won’t be a stranger.
And without further ado – here’s all the news you might have missed this week.
Best Story
Good news for console gamers! The Sims 4 is coming to Xbox One and PS4 in November. Now you, too, can force your Sims into underground painting grottos like Darryn, letting your above-ground Sims reap the rewards of their hard work. Wait, what?
Worst Story
The community of gamers is often seen as being toxic, a label we always strive to overcome. Unfortunately, some stories come out that feel like a setback. This week [REDACTED].
Gone are the days of spending hours in MS Paint as part of your computer literacy. But many people still use and love it. Unfortunately, those people need to say farewell – Microsoft is getting ready to kill off the ancient application (only they’re not!)
Shame, the Pokemon GO craze has pretty much subsided, but Niantic still wanted to run a big public event. Too bad it was a total flop.
Random Story
Hey, it’s a leaked sex tape for… Agents of Mayhem? Um, what?
Meanwhile, a company in the US is to be the first company to microchip employees. Next step, Brave New World. Or maybe all this technology is benign. Right? RIGHT?
Reviews and Features
Apple of My Eye review – A family movie that lacks the heart to go deeper
Baby Driver review – Buckle up for Edgar Wright’s pedal to the metal masterpiece
Pyre review – a deep strategy game that lingers long after the credits roll
Final Fantasy XII Zodiac Age Review – An amazing journey back to Ivalice
Ambition Review – A simple card game with incredible strategic depth
Hey! Pikmin Review – Strategy meets platforming for kids
Solstice Chronicles M.I.A review – a tense and dynamic, tactical isometric shooter
The ten most amazing Spider-Man costumes
Sundered review – A roguelike, Lovecraftian Metroidvania
Miitopia Review – A quirky and entertaining RPG-lite
The Ticket Review (DVD) – A melancholic journey that stops you from caring
Header Image of the Week
Darryn made it nigh impossible to choose a favourite header this week. So why choose? Why not both!
Comment of the Week
I know it’s silly, even juvenile, but Unavengedavo made me giggle with his comment on the article about Atari releasing a speaker hat
We had a speaker hat before it was cool…
Bonus Content
Thanks Darryn for whatever this is.
Noelle made a video. You should watch it.
And another strange one from Darryn, because I don’t even want to know his journey on the internet.
Thanks for reminding me of this Kervyn.
Finally, because it never ever gets old, good old Gandalf.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.
Last Updated: July 28, 2017
Geoffrey Tim
July 28, 2017 at 12:39
What? You’re leaving? You could have at least let me know. Gosh.
VampyreSquirrel
July 28, 2017 at 12:48
All the best on your adventures into the US of A Zoe! I’ll try and make it to one of those 3 meet-ups you’ve setup, but I have no idea if I can.
Ottokie
July 28, 2017 at 12:55
Where am I going to get my bad photo shopping fix now 🙁
Have fun the the US of A Zoe o/
“So long and thanks for all the fish”
Alien Emperor Trevor
July 28, 2017 at 13:00
But who’s going to pity laugh at all my super special jokes now? It can’t just be me, that makes it weird.
Good luck in FREEDOMLAND, BRO-E!
Spathi
July 28, 2017 at 13:07
Ai, baie hartseer 🙁 Zoe, thank you for helping making Lazygamer (yeah I still call it that!) such an awesome place to hang around. You hold a special place in my heart due to your “tribulations” with becoming a mom and how that affected your life (and gaming time), because that gave me some perspective that it is normal for a new parent to feel overwhelmed, with me going through the same joys and “troubles”. You will be missed.
Anyway, enough soppy stuff! All the best in the US, I trust and hope you and your family will be happy and have all the success you deserve!
Cheers
Ottokie
July 28, 2017 at 13:48
My top 4 bookmarks 😛
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/de828cc09ee1dbca6a7b8b1b5c5103583b6a6c91135e770267bdf81dbcd58329.png
The D
July 28, 2017 at 13:07
Zoe, don’t leave pleese
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SxzfKhpZUm8/VULNaacvkBI/AAAAAAAAN8U/UfYnBuR8xuY/s1600/tumblr_inline_nmxm2iQG4U1sea7w9_500.gif
Raptor Rants
July 28, 2017 at 13:52
Who is Lisa?
miaau
July 28, 2017 at 14:14
the person tearing him apart, I assume
Raptor Rants
July 28, 2017 at 14:16
But there is no Lisa here? Shortly no Zoe either…. But again… Who is Lisa?
Ottokie
July 28, 2017 at 14:20
She is about as not real as your PS4!
Raptor Rants
July 28, 2017 at 14:26
https://ci.memecdn.com/7705721.jpg
Original Heretic
July 28, 2017 at 13:10
Cheerio, Zoe! Go and make America great again.
And I love the header, btw. “The good, the bad and the ugly”, indeed.
I reckon Zoe is the good.
Geoff and Darryn can duke it out for the other two spots.
BakedBagel
July 28, 2017 at 13:11
While we had differences in opinion, i wish you a safe and happy travels.
May the force be with you Zoe
A Levitt
July 28, 2017 at 13:17
Zoe. Your presence and posts and charm were all good. You leaving, well it’s bad for us. Now we’re just left with the ugly remains that are Darryn’s food choices and Gavin’s feelings towards other people in general.
You’ll be missed.
Magoo
July 28, 2017 at 13:18
Zoe you forgot to add “The good, the bad and the ugly of the past week (28 July 2017)” under worst stories. 🙁
Cheers mate!
Guild
July 28, 2017 at 13:32
We will stay in touch and hopefully visit you…..if Trump allows us foreigners in.
All the best Zoe to new beginnings. It’s been awesome getting to know you and the family.
miaau
July 28, 2017 at 13:49
I feel, as I am sure others do, honoured that, for example, that we could all share in some parts of your life, your daughter, how it effected you as a gamer (not just on this site) and as a person. I found reading some of your blogs interesting and insightful.
I will also miss you commentary and articles on this site.
I truly wish the best for you and your family and that your family settles in quickly and that your new house rapidly becomes a home and that your new neighbourhood becomes a community.
Raptor Rants
July 28, 2017 at 13:50
I’m sorry to see you go 🙁 The site will absolutely not be the same without you. Good luck that side. We will miss your writings.
Thankfully you will still have a few posts here and there, you better not disappear completely ok?
All the best.
Lots of Raptor love.
Raptor Rants
July 28, 2017 at 14:00
ZOE!
https://yt3.ggpht.com/-ToFPPy6Df6U/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/VAru6ujXrSY/s900-c-k-no-mo-rj-c0xffffff/photo.jpg
GooseZA
July 28, 2017 at 14:53
I think the worst story here is that you’re leaving. All the best for the future!
Matthew Figueira
July 28, 2017 at 16:13
DON’T LEAVE US Z!!!!! *cries*
All the best for the future 🙂 thanks for ALL of the things! At the very least we will still have all those Gamescom memories 😛 APARTMENT FOR ANTS!
Alien Emperor Trevor
July 28, 2017 at 16:30
Who could forget…
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/80/Tea_bags.jpg/220px-Tea_bags.jpg
Matthew Figueira
July 28, 2017 at 17:26
XD
Umar
July 28, 2017 at 16:38
I hope that this move brings you and your family all the happiness in the world. I’ve always enjoyed your work and I look forward to whatever may be next as well. Till next time, my JRPG sidekick ^_^
HvR
July 28, 2017 at 17:59
Ai tog. Baai vriendelike Amerikaanse tannie.
May not have always agreed with you but it was always insightful and a pleasure to read your articles and watch some of your vlogs.
You will be missed.
Chuckles von Clausewitz III
July 30, 2017 at 12:52
🙁 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Gavin Mannion
July 31, 2017 at 08:21
Hey you’re still under NDA on this…
Admiral Chief
July 31, 2017 at 09:33
Wow, talk about news. Good luck over there!